A conversation between Kiiip and myself has recently made me realize that God existed before the Earth, so he is extraterrestrial, and thus an alien. Kiiip amended it to make it clear: He’s an Illegal Alien. God has no legal right to live here on Earth and he is taking our jobs and our women (our virgins, even). And then he had a kid, an anchor baby, to give him a credible claim to humanity. Go figure. We shoulda built a fence.

Haiku!

I see frankensteins.
They’re coming for me. Oh no.
I must run away!

Not much of note just now. Trying to get more things done at once than I’m actually getting done. To make things worse, Marq is again Internetless. I’m going to have to find some superior way of making us millionaires. A quicker way.

At this exact moment I’m weighing the pros and cons of taking a nap. Cons are currently winning, but my eyelids are really filibustering here.

Hey, a few days ago was Groundhog Day. I didn’t consciously know it was coming, but I must have subconsciously, because my dream the night before had Bill Murray in it. So that’s neat.

I am nuts for pistachios! And they’re a type of nut! Are you not entertained? There’s a joke in there somewhere, but I don’t actually feel like working at it. But anyway, I had a half-finished bag of pistachios, right? And I couldn’t find it, right? Then I found it, right? I had put it in the fridge. I don’t know why I did that. I don’t remember doing that. I assume this is a sign that I am, in fact, nuts. There. This paragraph is finished.

Haiku!

Sometimes you fall down.
You needn’t be embarrassed.
Stop friggin’ crying.

So… What else is there to talk about? Lobsters? Should we talk about lobsters? How about them lobsters? There should be more blue lobsters. There should be flying lobsters. We should build a city designed for lobsters and sink it just to see what happens. Will the lobsters move in and flourish? Will they create lobster politics and lobster mores? Will they learn from what they see an build more lobster cities all throughout the seas? Will they then move to land? Will they be our friends, or will we be bitter enemies? And will humanity be able to resist their might?

I know basically nothing about lobsters.

Okay, I don’t have to be in work as early as usual today, so I’ve got some time, let’s see what I can post about.

Earlier this month, Loius C. K. put out his most recent comedy special exclusively online skipping the whole television network thing. Even though I can’t even so much afford things really these days he’s only asking five bucks (American, I assume, but didn’t notice), so I figured it was probably possible for me to spend five bucks without it killing me (the jury is still out though). Anyway, I got the special and now I’m talking about it on my website. He remains to entertain me. Any comedy show that begins with pointing out that the audience is a large enough sampling of people that someone there is bound to be dead by the holidays is up my alley. I’m giving it Four out of Six Pieces of PDR’s Reviewing System Cake. It’s not the best of his specials that I have seen, but it is still great. And it is cheap. Keep that in mind anyone wanting some entertainment.

Haiku!

The owl was not there.
But then, who was saying “Hoo”?
And where was the owl?

Apart from that, not much else is going on. As I say, I am soon going to work. I spent much of today trying to work on things I’d like to get done before the New Year rolls around (so it looks like I got more done this year). Mostly I’m trying to finish the Hover Head story I mentioned I’d be starting around this time last year. I did indeed start it in the early bits of 2011, but then my focus shifted more to the SecGov Robots and I let this one drag out. Either way, it shall be done by Monday I am certain, and then I won’t have to worry about it any more. And all of you may continue not caring.

Anyway, not I have to get ready to go to work.

I met a dog on the way to work last night and I got to pet him a little bit. I was just walking by and it paid attention to me, so obviously I had to pet it. Naturally, I had to talk to its person a little bit as well, which of course was awkward, but still. Doggie.

Hakiu!

Call me a doctor.
As in, locate one for me.
I’m bleeding to death.

Here’s where I explain the haiku: He wanted someone to call a doctor for him, but instead that person just referred to him as a doctor, so he had to explain what he meant. This has been a Helpful PDR Poetry Note.

So, across the street from me there is a Vogue Optical, right? Place what sells glasses and your second pair is free and all that? You know. Anyhow, since as long as I can remember there has been an eye chart in the window. That changed a few weeks back. I was looking down one day and I watched in horror (maybe “watched with mild interest” would be more accurate) as the chart was taken down and in its place they put up some pictures of beautiful people wearing glasses.

I immediately chose to be outraged. This could not be a simple case of a store owner trying to change things up a little. What this was is an example of modern society placing less interest in actually using glasses to correct vision, but instead using them to look good. Once again society’s obsession with beauty outrages me.

And I was so outraged I forgot about it until weeks later when I needed something to put on my website. That’s how outraged I was.

At some point in the past I noticed that the daily Archie comic strip seems to feature more scenes of the teachers in the school cafeteria than the students in the cafeteria. For no good reason, I decided to test my hypothesis by watching the strip in 2011 to see if it remained true. But then the artist on the strip changed about a few months into the year and there just hasn’t been that many strips in the cafeteria at all. Plus, when I realized I was paying close enough attention to the Archie comic strip to notice the change of artist, I figured I was getting too invested in it. And then Chron.com, which I use to read comic strips online, underwent some remodeling and I missed a couple weeks and I honestly did not feel like going back through to see if I’d missed any important information (plus the links to the strips I’d gathered no longer worked). So I aborted my experiment.

But here is the information I did collect:

January 11th: Teachers in Cafeteria.
January 13th: Teachers in Cafeteria.
January 20th: Teachers in Cafeteria.
April 29th: Nobody in Cafeteria, but they talk about it.
May 12th: Teachers in Cafeteria.

I think that my hypothesis would have been proven correct. What I should have done is go through all the 2010 strips. But I ain’t gonna.

Haiku!

Sometimes people die.
This is because ghosts need us
to be their new friends.

I got rid of twenty of my books today. That’s something I usually don’t do. For the past year and a bit I have been trying to rid myself of all sorts of my belongings. Chairs and desks I have cast aside. Abut half of my clothes were given away. But books (and comics and DVDs) I am obsessed with and they are the only things that have continued coming in more than going out. I hang on to my books forever, generally. But by trimming twenty of the books I figured I probably wouldn’t ever read again, I have gained a little bit of shelf space. Twenty books doesn’t even make a dent in my collection, really, but it feels like a lot.

That said, I’ll probably have more than twenty new books well before this time next year.