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Phone Guys: The Same Generation, But Later!

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PETE Pete is socially inept in pretty much every sense. Born on April Fools Day in 1978, Peter Harold Nancy spent his time in school as a class clown. As such, he didn’t learn a whole lot. In school he met Jeremy and the two have had all manner of adventures bizarre and mundane since, but Pete never bothered improving himself much. Since his thirtieth birthday Pete has really come to realize just how bad he’s let his life become. He fell into a bit of a spiral of self destruction and in 2009 he was kicked out of his apartment. With the support of his friends he was finally able to turn things around somewhat hand he’s found a cheap apartment above a tattoo store. He has not managed to find any kind of steady employment.

JEREMYJeremy Peter Watkins was born the Seventeenth of March in 1978 and was raised by a single mother of three. After meeting Pete in high school he has slowly come out of a shell of shyness and is, for the most part, pretty well rounded these days. Alongside Pete and Stan, Jeremy has had a few more adventures than he cares to remember (and some he can’t remember thanks to the amnesia he had in 2007), but since marrying his longtime girlfriend Irma, he has tried to avoid that kind of stuff. He has failed. After a disastrous honeymoon in Paraguay, he and Irma find themselves fending off constant assassins hired by a drug lord they angered. Jeremy’s recently been given a managerial position in his office. He’s not thrilled to still work there, but he’s doing well in the company at least. Jeremy and Irma now look after Charcoal, Pete’s dog.

IRMAIrma Seacole Watkins (nee Donovan) is Jeremy’s wife, and had been his girlfriend since 2001. Born November 3, 1980, Irma was part of a military family who moved a lot which kept her from making any deep connections until university. Now working as a doctor, Irma has fulfilled her lifelong dream of helping others, and has the skills necessary to tend to the damage she and Jeremy endure after the constant attacks launched by an angry Paraguayan drug kingpin. She does not miss her days as a waitress at all, but still keeps in touch with her friend Darlene who continues to work at the restaurant where they met.

STANStan Hogan Bundle is Pete and Jeremy’s other friend. Born May 23, 1978, Stan is a restaurant owner who was badly injured in a car accident and spent over a year in a coma. Since waking back up he has overthrown an evil manager who had taken over his restaurant in his absence and had probably caused the accident. The coma affected Pete’s life in another way: He now has prophetic dreams that so far have all come true, but he also has dreams of a terrible war between humanity and some dark unseen force. Convinced that this will come to pass, he has been trying to find some way to prepare. On the upside, he met his current boyfriend at a survivalist expo. Occasionally Stan has consents to letting Pete work as a delivery guy on weekends when Pete needs money. So far this has not turned out horribly, but Stan can’t wait until Pete finds something else. Stan introduced Jeremy to Irma, who was one of his waitresses for a while. Stan still does not own a phone.

DARLENEDarlene Stern is Irma’s best friend. The two met working in the 50s-style diner where Irma worked after working for Stan. Darlene still works there now. Darlene’s mother was artificially inseminated with sperm from a sperm bank and Darlene has recently been trying to discover who her biological father was, though this has caused a bit of a rift between Darlene and her mother, who would rather not know. Darlene’s step-father (the one who raised her) is okay with the idea though, feeling that Darlene should know more about where she gets her genes. Though Darlene’s natural skill with solving mysteries has helped Pete and Jeremy in the past, she’s having trouble finding the sperm donor as the sperm bank’s records were destroyed and each clue only seems to lead to more frustration.

AGENT A man in a suit who everyone assumes is some manner of secret agent has often turned up “coincidentally” around Pete, Jeremy, Stan and Irma. Though he has not yet acted in any way to impede them, he has often dropped vague warnings and cryptic clues and the friends get the impression that some government agency may be trying to steer them away from something, or perhaps steer them towards something. It has also been theorized that the agent may actually be a robot, though even he doesn’t know it.

SIMONESimone is occasionally Pete’s girlfriend and occasionally his bitterest rival. A skilled soldier of fortune who can never seem to land on one side of the law, she seems like an ideal match for Pete who is similarly confused, but alas they never seem to be on the same side at the same time. Simone first met Jeremy and Pete when Jeremy’s uncle died and left some sort of ancient manuscript to him. Simone tried to steal the manuscript, but Jeremy decided to destroy it rather then let her unknown masters get their hands on it. Simone does not like Jeremy. Though she is skilled in a wide range of talents, Simone’s driving skills are simply unparalleled.

JENNYJenny Everywhere is some sort of ubiquitous quantum superhero who exists in a vast number of alternate universes. She met Pete and Jeremy in a bar and became embroiled in their investigation of a ninja cult that tried to take over the hospital where Irma works. Since then she has occasionally run into the boys in the bar again to share some good times. The character of Jenny Everywhere is available for use by anyone, with only one condition. This paragraph must be included in any publication involving Jenny Everywhere, in order that others may use this property as they wish. All rights reversed.

TylerTyler Grant works with Jeremy in the office’s tech department, but his ambitions reach much higher. A skilled hacker and designer of custom technology, he has recently found himself dragged into adventures with Jeremy and his taste of crime-fighting has awakened something in him. Recently he has begun trying to insinuate himself into adventures even when Jeremy suggests he stay out, which has so far resulted in injuries, though Jeremy is worried it could get worse.

CHESTEROld Chester Clements was Pete’s neighbor years ago, but he isn’t anymore so he doesn’t have much to do with the guys any more. Chester’s role as creator of “The Eagle’s Shout,” a newsletter filled with anti-government screeds has netted him frequent appearances on cable news punditry shows.

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