Super Sunday: Secret Condiment Robots

The Situation

After the events of the Stanislav Day Massacre, the Secret Government became a subsidiary of the massive international corporation called Technolocorp. While the government had a lot of problems finding the budget to keep all their robots employed, that doesn’t fly in the private sector. So now, a lot of SecGov’s formerly unemployed robots have been sold off to work for various Technolocorp affiliates. The idea for today’s sitcom is that a bunch of these robots are now working for a condiment company.

The Characters

Justine Red

When Justine was unemployed in SecGov City, she loved her life. Sure, she had to live in Cheap Robot Housing and was berated by most of the populace, but she had time to pursue her interest. She spent a lot of time at the SecGov Library or wandering around thinking about the universe. Now she works on an assembly line assembling those squeezeable bottles for condiments. She is forced to stand there and work for twelve hours a day and she’s bitter about it. Only navigating the world with sarcasm and acerbic wit get her through this fresh new life.

Iris Yellow

Iris was also unemployed back in SecGov City, but she was more bothered by it. She wanted a purpose in life, and now she’s found one at the condiment factory. As the company’s receptionist, she has the most contact with the outside world, which she uses as an excuse to elevate herself above the other robots in the company. Still, the company’s robots are a secret, so she can only communicate with humans over the phone, and has to settle for the robots she looks down on for companionship.

Egbert Green

Doing the company’s office work, Egbert just wants to get through his days without have to put up with the bickering that Justine and Iris bring to the table. He would provide the company with exasperated sighs and his catch phrase “Oh, great. Just what we needed.”

Ms. Secret Prime Minister

The former Prime Minister of SecGov, the PM was as incompetent in that role as most of the SecGov higher ups were. But she still thinks of himself as a big shot. Now that she’s stuck working on the assembly line next to Justine, she has to remain quite deluded to get through the day without suffering a lot of embarrassment. Luckily for her, her sense of delusion is quite up to the task.

Paco Green

Paco was the PM’s personal assistant and bodyguard, and was the only reason she survived the Stanislav Day Massacre. Paco is not officially employed by the condiment company, but refuses to leave the PM’s side, so they let him work as a janitor while the PM is doing his shift.

Carrie Weaver

Carrie is the manager of this factory, and the only human that is still working there. To compete with the company’s other locations, she has used her family’s connections to Technolocorp to buy these robots (and about half a dozen others) to run the whole factory. Essentially, she is a slave-owner, but she doesn’t yet realize how alive the robots are. Maybe she’d learn that as the situation goes on, but for the meantime all she’s concerned with is cutting costs and showing up the other factories.

Notes

I suppose this one isn’t all that much a play on sitcom cliches as it is just fleshing out my SecGov universe a bit more. I have a tendency to do that sort of thing. Honestly, this doesn’t seem like it’d be that great a sitcom. I don’t see it being picked up past the pilot. Anyway, notice that we’ve got a red (ketchup), yellow (mustard), and green (relish) robot working at the condiment company. Isn’t that… something…

The BUZZ around here

Hey look, a new form of content has begun on the Book of PDR. It’s Adam: The Beekeeper Chronicles. This is going to continue the story of Adam, the Beekeeper who played a minor but pivotal role in Secret Government Robots, as well as some of the other cast members from that comic. But now they’re in prose! Neat!

Specifically, I’m going to do chapters for this as drabbles, the type of story which is exactly one hundred words long. Easy to read, right? Everyone wins. I figure I’ll do a hundred chapters of it, then see where I feel like going from there.

Hey, SecGov is Over

I noticed that the last page of Secret Government Robots has finally flopped up onto the site. That webcomic is now entirely done. Neat.

Gonna have to change the design of the site around now, I suppose. And also, get more things going up.

SecGov Update

Hey, now that we’ve begun the last chapter of the story, I might as well reveal that I have completely finished Secret Government Robots. And it’s only about five years late and about four years after I lost interest.

The fact is, I enjoyed writing SecGov a heckuva lot more than I ever enjoyed drawing it, so once I had plotted out the end of things, I barely wanted to put the effort into finishing the art. This is especially true because my limited artistic skills I often had to cut things that I would have liked in there, but which I simply didn’t have the skill to draw. Things were simply a lot better in my head and it was disheartening to see the final product.

Not that it went the way I expected while writing either. The very original concept for the strip was just a gag strip through which I’d secretly build up a bit of lore for the fictional universe that is home to other story ideas I have. That quickly morphed into an idea focused around SecGov City, where I originally planned to tell different stories related only in that they were set in the same Robot city. Instead, I came up with an overarching plot and ruined that plan. Typical PDR. I did build up some of that lore I originally aimed for, though more clumsily than intended, because I had to drop big ideas without spoiling the stuff I want for those other stories.

Still, I don’t fully hate it or anything. I’m glad I got the thing concluded. There are characters in there I would absolutely like to revisit. I even have an idea for a spinoff that would be more focused, but there is no way I could draw it, so it will likely never manifest.

Anyway, SecGov is basically over and that’s good. Maybe someday someone will read it.

2018 Ender

How is it possible that a year can feel like it is over in the blink of an eye, but also be a slog to get through? I guess that’s just how aging works.

But we did get through 2018. Congratulations, us. I’m still a failure this year, as Secret Government Robots is still about twenty pages from completion. Still! It was supposed to end in 2015, I think! But I am 80% sure it will be done this year and I will never have to draw another page of it again. I wish I could be more confident than that, but I have disappointed myself too many times.

But also, I didn’t get sick this year. That’s a win! I did have a sudden upheaval in my life in the form of leaving my home of fifteen years for some other place. This did derail me, but unlike the illness, this is probably a good thing ultimately.

Overall, 2018 was a year. In spite of some major life changes, I have little to say about it. Life is just an unending blur anyway.

So, how will the Dark Lord Char’Nagh treat us as we go into 2019? Nobody can know. Such is life.