A few years back I did a post full of sentences that, according to search engine searching, did not exist on the Internet until I bravely created them. I’m doing it again! More sentences!
- “We need more rocketship movies.”
- “Tomorrow is just later today if you don’t sleep.”
- “I could probably make it rain if I wanted.”
- “What’s your favourite type of chain link fence?”
- “The stealth bomber was invented by ninjas.”
- “I burned down my castle for the insurance money.”
- “The light is always greener on the other side of the tunnel.”
- “Most operas don’t end with a car chase.”
- “Grapes can be your best friend, if you let them.”
- “The devil knows how to build a rowboat.”
- “I’m falling in love with this luggage.”
- “The internet has more sentences on it.”
There! I’ve added to the wealth of humanity’s knowledge!
It took longer than I expected, but I am in my new apartment, complete with power and Internet. Let’s see how this goes. I notice that while I was away we made it to the last of the scheduled SecGov pages. I will likely take a week or two of a break from that, then we’ll start getting back to that. The goal is still have it completed by the end of the year a date which, unfortunately, continues to approach.
In the interest of bulking up the amount of content I got onto the site before the year end, here is a bunch of sentences. BUT NOT JUST ANY SENTENCES! This is a list of sentences that, according to Google, are not appearing anywhere else on the Internet and therefore I am cool and original for having thought of them.
- “Never trust the gerbil.”
- “Humans should colonize Earth.”
- “Do beavers know what time it is?”
- “Let Jesus bake the cake.”
- “Don’t let Jesus bake the cake.”
- “The doctor told me not to touch a butt.”
- “Shut up about igloos!”
- “My philtrum is just right.”
- “Schools need to teach about trilobites.”
- “The best movies are long movies.”
- “Osmosis was invented by frogs.”
- “The internet has sentences on it.”
There! I’m done! What more do you need?
So, as I have done in the past, I felt like looking myself up on the Google today. This site still doesn’t appear as the top result for me, but my Twitter feed does. So that’s good. But the important thing is that I found this: A website that seems to think I was a star quarterback because I used the term on my website one time. I am perfectly happy with that.
During my extensive football career, I backed many quarters, but I will always remember the big game. It was the Murphy’s Cup Playoff Bowl and we were down by nine runs in the ninth period. The point guard was in the penalty box for stealing a base, so we were down to five men and had to get the ball from the three point line to the net before the end of the inning or we’d be facing a dreaded seven-ten split. I was open, so the goalie threw me the ball. I zig-zagged my way across the court, avoiding tackles like I was a man of pure speed. The crowd was on their feet in anticipation, someone threw an octopus onto the ice but I dodged it. Finally, there I was, face to face with the opposing goalie. He was a big hunk of a man, a Samoan I think, at least a head taller than me, and probably twice as wide. I lined up my punt and kicked: The goalie dove for it, but it was high. It was good! GOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAL! The crowd roared! The cheerleaders did a cheer and Coach Bronson cried a single tear.
Clearly my life after that game has been a downhill spiral. Oh well. That’s how it goes.
So now that I’m Twitter I know more about what people on the Internet are doing. I guess one of the things that people are doing today is hourly comics. That is to say, they are creating a comic strip to chronicle each hour of their day. I can do that. So I did:
Anyway, that will do. I’ve had better days, but I’ve had worse too.