Back when Geocities decided to commit suicide and take all our hard work with it, I lamented the death of my first website, the Adam West Batcave, but I’m just remembering something else that Geocities took too. I had once created a website devoted to telling the world that Patrick D Ryall sucks.

I think I called the site “geocities.com/pdrsucks/” and on it I wrote from the point of view of a person who supposedly knew me in school and had an intense distaste for me. I’m pretty sure I only got a few paragraphs of insane ranting done, but I had always planned to get back to it. Unfortunately, as time passed, I forgot about it. It likely would have come back to me at some point, but then I forgot about it when it mattered most, at the end of the Geocities era. When I got everything from the Batcave, I forgot to get to pdrsucks and save what I had done. I could have transferred it to some blog somewhere or something. So now all that is lost. I never linked to the site anywhere, because it wasn’t finished, so I doubt it exists in any cache online anywhere. It is lost to the ages.

I remember I told Kiiip about it as I was doing it, but I never told Marq. In fact, the entire reason I was building a site about how much I suck was because I hoped, someday, it would get into search engines Marq would stumble across it and be amazed. But now that will never happen…

So anyway, Marq, now you know. Maybe my finally telling you this could be considered your birthday gift since I got you zero ones for your actual birthday last weekend?

Here’s some thing I drew while watching things:

You see, they stopped talking so that she could take their order and she misunderstood it. If I explain it hard enough, maybe it’ll justify its existence.

And, of course, we have the Phone Guys:

I guess it must be colder for the Phone Guys than it is in the real world. This Winter ain’t had nothin’ on me.

Okay, so today (or Wednesday anyway. For me this is still my Wednesday waking period, even though it is after midnight) a bunch of websites shut themselves off in protest or whatever. Obviously I didn’t do that for the Book of PDR, for various reasons including the fact I wouldn’t know how. Also including the fact that since nobody much really comes here, so nobody would notice. But the main important super serious reason is this: I’m a radical anti-capitalist who pretty much endorses all forms of copyright infringement and piracy or movies, music, and software. I want it mandatory and taught in preschools until everyone has no money ever. So obviously I’m the exact kind of enemy the SOPA bill wants to destroy. Therefore the reasonable people who want the bill defeated but aren’t actually insane would be better off not associating with me. Right? I’d damage their credibility.

(Actually, I don’t think there’s much copyright infringement on my site. The Canadian Heritage Moments, maybe would count? I’m sure there’s a picture of Batman on here somewhere? But mostly I’ve preferred to keep things PDR-related (probably to our detriment).)

Anyway, that’s not the real reason I’m doing this post. At some point I made a promise to use this side to record all my encounters with police officers, so now I’ve got to do that. Unfortunately, though, this one isn’t me being suspicious in any way. Basically I just got home from work and found a situation in the lobby of my building (it isn’t important the details because it involves people I don’t know) and even though everything seemed to be in hand with 911 already called and such, I didn’t want to leave until I was sure everything worked out so I wound up holding the door for the three cops and two paramedics who showed up. That’s pretty much the extent of it.

But here’s what I took from it: All those cops looked younger than me. What The Chunks Is That About?

Okay, so, the first SecGov page to be put up in the new fashion is up there. For now I’m thinking that I’ll be scheduling SecGovs to go up on Tuesdays and Thursdays and then we’ll see how that works. Still a work in progress all this, but we’re doing our best. Or at least our not worst.

Anyway, here’s a story:

Dr. Skeet Bonzo studied asteroids. But one day, through no fault of his own, just pure dumb chance, one of the asteroids he studied crashed into Skeet’s car. Skeet, who had been in an appliance store when the car had been destroyed, recognized the asteroid even after the impact. “Why, that’s BF2990P” he exclaimed as saw the wreckage. And then he realized something that sent a shiver down his spine: That asteroid’s designation was the same as the license plate number of the car it had just destroyed. “I never noticed that one of the asteroids had the same number as my license plate because I dealt with so many asteroids,” he said to some kid who had wandered to see the damage up but didn’t actually care what Skeet had to say. Skeet, for a moment, was so amazed by the coincidence that he was dumbstuck. “The odds of that asteroid hitting that car were astronomical! I can’t believe that it happened!” but Skeet fought off thoughts he considered unscientific by rationalizing it, noting that the asteroid’s designation existed only as a thing given to it by the scientists, and was not an actual property of the asteroid itself. And besides, given the vast amount of time for coincidences to occur in, they are more likely to. Anyway, because his car had been crushed, Skeet had to walk home carrying the microwave he had just bought. On the way he was mugged and shot. The mugger ran away and, as he lay dying, Skeet happened to notice that the serial number on the microwave was “BF2990P”. With that, Skeet said “Well, that’s just stupid. I’m glad to be getting out of here” and died. Skeet’s fellow scientists decided to pay their respects to Skeet by naming an asteroid after him. A year later that very asteroid came crashing to Earth, hitting an apartment building and destroying one apartment. What apartment? Specifically apartment number BF2990P. And the resident of that apartment who was killed at that time? The very criminal who had killed Skeet and who, by sheer coincidence alone had also been named Skeet Bonzo. Suffice it to say, when they met up as ghosts they all had a good laugh.

Anyway, that’s it for today. I gotta go. In the meantime, I wonder what would be involved, legally, in arranging to get my skull encased in amber when I’m dead…

Now, I’m only giving you Phone Guys today, but that is because we’re changing how we do things. The SecGov comics will now be appearing more than once a week and Mondays will be for other comics like Phone Guys, Little Choys and anything else I want. The SecGov stuff will have a permanent place at the top of the page, with posts like this below, like if this was a proper webcomic site. Sure, people might miss out on new posts if they don’t scroll down past the comic, but I can’t help everything, people. Anyway, should be SecGov up tomorrow if all goes well.