In Memory of Stories Lost

I’m not bothering to update you on my groceries this week. There’s still some left, but I’ve lost interest enough that it is too much work to take it out of its various places and put it on my counter to take a picture. You’ll all get over it, I am sure.

But this month, I have brought you a random comic strip I wrote at work one night that would have been forgotten if I’d not bothered to put it online, as well as one of the very first comedical stories I ever wrote for the Internet. That one predates Contains2 by a bit. I think I first did it up as an email to Marq when I was bored one time.

It got me thinking about other stories I’ve made over the years that aren’t as lucky to have made it online. I don’t mean what’s left of the Contains2 stories that I’ve just not got around to bringing here yet, I mean the stuff that is well and truly gone and I don’t even have notes to salvage it. Granted most of these stories I, obviously, can’t remember, but there are a few that I do have faint traces of in my brain and I figure I should note them before I lose even that.

The earliest I recall was, I believe, in grade 2. We were assigned to make little illustrated books with a story in them and I can remember that my story combined Egyptian elements with cat people. Basically, what I am saying is that it was a Thundercats ripoff. Apart from that I can’t remember anything. I do know that my report card that year made an oblique reference to it saying that I didn’t adequately explain things in my stories, that I took for granted that people would know what I was talking about if I knew it. Stupid little me. Similarly I wrote a prose story in grade 5 that borrowed liberally from the plot of King’s Quest V. Plagiarism. It’s the easiest way for kids to write stories.

Also during my elementary years I remember a desire to make a Christmas movie and that I wanted a sort of Advent Calendar motif to open and close scenes. I was apparently deep. It was meant to end with a snowball fight, I think, and I remember getting in trouble when we started throwing snowballs to “practice”. Stupid little me. We also wrote a skit about bullying once and performed it at a school assembly. I’d love to find out someone got that on film, but I doubt it.

Around grade five and six, I guess, was about when I started getting into comics as well and it is no surprise that that is when I started making comics as well. I did a lot of the old fold-a-bunch-of-sheets-in-half-and-you-have-a-book style comics, including one about a superhero called Zappo which I don’t still have, but I do remember enough about the character that someday I hope to give him a home. Perhaps my other biggest comic effort was a couple sheets full of different comic strips with different themes, as if I were trying to create a whole Comics Page in a newspaper. I remember only two of the strips and one of them, I think, I will recreate for this site sometime. The other was a two panel bit with a Native American man sitting crosslegged on the floor/ground. The first panel he said “How” and in the second panel he said “ya doing?”

Sometime in either late elementary or early junior high I wrote just a couple of pages, pure description no story, about a family living in a house that was so empty people kept assuming nobody lived there and putting up for sale signs. I never did finish it, I don’t think, but I remember it impressing the parents and teacher types who read it.

In grade 7, I think, for an art class project I created a comic strip about a superhero called Dog-Thing. I got an excellent grade on that thing, the teacher wasn’t even willing to write my grade on the thing because he didn’t want to ruin it. Naturally I lost it at some point. Stupid little me. For years I assumed I would never see Dog-Thing again, but while the strip is indubitably gone I did eventually find a sketch of the main character. That means I can use him again! I haven’t got around to revealing it yet, but Dog-Thing is a retired founding member of the Team of Superheroes.

Around the junior high years I also created Little Choy. Now I can hardly call these “stories” but innumerable images of Little Choy insulting anyone willing to speak near him have been drawn on school desks and in text books over the years that I will never see again. Luckily every one of them is pretty much exactly the same.

For a grade 11 English class we had to write something and as I recall I did. I wrote something about an office being shot up by criminals or terrorists or something. Nowadays that might raise some alarm bells or something, but this was at least a year before the Columbine thing, so all I got was a comment from the teacher about how I use way more paragraph breaks than necessary and the teacher mused that usually he had to tell people the opposite. I’ve always bucked trends, I guess. I still tend to like smaller paragraphs better. And I guess part of the reason that writing that story didn’t make me look insane was because, as I recall, it was about a guy who encounters one of the criminal terrorists and while they can hear shooting coming from other parts of the building he actually talked the criminal terrorist into stopping.

Grade 12, I don’t even remember for sure which class it was, but this was after the point where I’d stopped actively trying in school, so on some exam I was taking I did what I could and then turned it over and wrote a story about a squirrel detective on the back. As I recall it involved some sort of mystery in a casino tree. I think there was a rabbit bouncer possibly? I really wish I still had this one. It sounds messed up.

Anyway, as I said, that’s just the stories I remember enough to know I don’t remember or have notes about. Who knows how many stories I’ve written that have faded into nothingness? I guess we’ll never know.

Unless Time Travel!

A Fortune In Fun!

Today Marq and I ate fortune cookies. Here is what they said to us:

Fortune Cookie #1, to PDR: “An influential figure will make mention of you in a positive light.”

Fortune Cookie #2, to Marq: “Keep your idealism practical.”

Fortune Cookie #3, to PDR: “Your talents will be recognized and rewarded.”

Fortune Cookie #4, to Marq: “You will find good fortune in love.”

Fortune Cookie #5, to PDR: “A letter of great importance may reach you any day now.”

Fortune Cookie #6, to Marq: “Enjoy the lighter things in life and deeper joys will follow.”

The moral: “Fortune Cookies are bull.”

The Numbers

Marq has been doing behind the scenes work to get the transfer to the Book of PDR to the new WordPress and all that. Thanks Marq! But in doing so, he’s discovered something that is, quite frankly, shocking. Well, not shocking I guess. But it’s… not interesting… uh… notable? Not really, but that’ll have to do. Here’s a list of roughly how many posts I’ve done in each year that the Book of PDR has been in business.

2006 = 100
2007 = 81
2008 = 68
2009 = 58
2010 = 60

Now, first of all, 2006 is the highest by far and I wasn’t even on for that full year! I started in May or something. I can only assume that this because in 2006 I was still working with some of my Contains2 work ethic. On Contains2, if I didn’t post something every couple days, I wasn’t doing it wrong. But since 2006 consisted mainly of Contains2 dying and me working alternating day and night shifts every week, two of many things that make me look back on 2006 as utter ballsack, most of my posts were just complaining about work. Eventually I got sick of those complainy posts and made a conscious effort to do less of that. Sadly I don’t have much else going on. I can sit down and think “What’s going on that I should write about?” and mostly the only thing going on is that I don’t want to go to work. That is not newsworthy, so I just skip it.

The low point of 2009 is a bit of a surprise. I guess that during that year I had issues with my computer, including it finally dying, but it doesn’t look like I did much when I got the new computer either. Now keep in mind that in WordPress there is a difference between Posts and Pages. Posts are what this is and all my journal or prose or all that. Pages are stuff like my FAQ or my About page and I have put more work into those in the last couple years (plus there are tons of pages that are not even published that I use to keep notes for myself) and I think most of my writing in 2009 is probably on Pages. So it probably isn’t as bad a drop as it looks.

I’m going to try to get 2010 up a higher, but I’ve only got a month and a bit left and considering I was quite happy with the way I just avoided talking about Christmas last year, I’m going to have to find something else to talk about. Weekly comic posts are going to help, though. And I can say this: I’m going to break the record in 2011. By a lot if I can help it. And I can.

Phone Guys November 8

Here’s this week’s Phone Guys strip, which indicates I did not get any other comic done this week. But also I have realized that my original plan was incorrect. I’ve got a years worth of Phone Guys but instead of putting them up only when I don’t have another strip, I’ll just put one up every week whether I have another one or not. That way, on the weeks I do get other things done, I’ll have two (or more, we can dream) to go. Sound like a plan?

In other news, we have been trying to upgrade the old Book of PDR into WordPress 3. Well, Marq has anyway. I don’t know how ANY of this stuff works. But anyway, apparently we can’t do it because of a file size limit on importing old posts and my website apparently being too big. This, I say, is LAME. Apparently this upgrade would help fight spam, so that alone is reason enough for me to wish I was there. And I’m not. WordPress, you’ve hurt my feelings.

Con Men

So, today we hit the Hal-Con I mentioned a few posts back. I’d be lying if I didn’t say we were a touch disappointed. As hard as it is for me just to be in a place with that many people, the location seemed rather small and crowded. And while I’m sure there must have been stuff there that would have interested me, none of it was going on while we were there. I suspect that plenty of people did enjoy it more, though. It seemed like it anyway. I’m hoping that the event was successful and that we’ve got the thing poised to become an annual event. Especially if they can get a bigger venue next year.

Frankly, I had more fun while we were sitting at the Dairy Queen across the street and identifying what costumes people walking past were wearing. I can now say I’ve seen a man in a Cookie Monster costume on a motorcycle. Another plus of the day: I saw a guy in a Dr. McNinja costume. Dear guy in a Dr. McNinja costume: You made me happy.

It is currently not decided if we will be trying again tomorrow. If we do, I’ll let you know. If we don’t I might also let you know. Thus, these last few sentences are pretty unnecessary.

Also, I’d like to take a moment to complain about something I’ve seen on the Internet but today was the first time I heard about it in person: Using the term “genre” to refer to things like fantasy and science fiction. Like a website will say it has the latest news on “genre fiction” and it means it covers comics and sci-fi shows and just in general nerdy stuff. It’s downright stupid to me. Fantasy and sci-fi are genres, certainly, but to refer to them as “genre” first of all doesn’t specify what genre they are and secondly doesn’t acknowledge all the genres that those things aren’t. I am sure I have absolutely no chance of stopping this from continuing, but I can swear right here that I’m never going to play along! NEVA SURRENDA!!!