Fact: I don’t think it is biologically possible for sideburns to be even. I bet there is some sort of follicle distribution discrepancy that makes it just impossible. This is one of several reasons why I only shave occasionally. (It seems like this topic has come up recently…)

So….
Do you suppose if someday we learn how to speak the language of dogs that we’ll go back and see movies that had dog actors and it’ll turn out that we can tell what they were saying?

I can see two possibilities springing from that:
A) We end up with the dogs completely ruining the movies by shouting things like “Hey look! A camera!” or “I’m barking on command!” when they are supposed to be saying “Timmy is trapped in the sarcophagus in the haunted grain silo!”

B) The dogs actually say “Timmy is trapped in the sarcophagus in the haunted grain silo!” or whatever line they were meant to say and we all have to really learn to respect dog actors a lot more.

Hey! Listen! I have just read in National Geographic that when Mallards sleep in a row, the ones on the end keep half of their brains awake to watch out for predators (here’s a link I found on Google about it). I consider this to be Way Awesome! They are sleeping as a team!

As Marq has just pointed out, it would be really unfair if they don’t take turns. If the two ducks on the ends are always the same two guys, well they’re just gonna be unhappy fellows.

This also goes a way to explaining how on Duck Tales when Huey, Dewey and Louie were sleeping one would inhale, another would exhale and the last would say “wakk, wakk.” Those guys were also team sleeping.

Ducks, man. Those guys are all right.

In other news, a few days back I updated my list of DVDs for the first time in like four years. Now the people will know DVDs were here.

OH HEY! Listen again! I totally just decided to add a picture of some ducks after posting the stuff up there, so I went into my Contains2 archives and searched for ducks. Along with this one tiny picture, I also found this post by a fellow named PDR from Tuesday 15 November 2005.

“Ducks have all sorts of magical prowess. They can fly and swim, which is like being an otter and a magic carpet combined. Also they have bills, kinda like a platypus or one of those dinosaurs that had bills. In fact, I’m going to assume that ducks are a combination of all animals. It seems the only logical explanation.”

Still holds up.

The Archie comic strip seems to devote more time to the teachers eating in the cafeteria than it does to the students eating in the cafeteria. Is it strange that they do that, or is it strange that I noticed?

Haiku!

I did a haiku
in my last post on this site.
Here is another.

Also, I would like to rebut against a study I heard on the radio a week ago. They said that people who shaved regularly were more likely to be happy and say that they were living their dreams, with the implication being that shaving regularly was in part the cause for that happiness. I would say that maybe, just maybe, they have it backwards and that people who are living their dreams are more likely to shave. Just my opinion as someone who does not shave regularly and is, you can be sure, not living his dreams.

Also, what the chunks kind of study is that?

Sadly, my time off of work is now drawing to a close. I can’t say I accomplished many great noteworthy, thanks a lot Nintendo Entertainment System, but I am pleased with the time as it was spent…

I used up all the gift certificates I’d had since Christmas for DVDs. I got Zombieland, Stand By Me, Tropic Thunder, Dial M For Murder and A Serious Man. Not a bad haul to add to my collection.

Haiku!

This is a haiku.
I wrote it on my website.
This is how it ends.

I seem to have fixed the problems my computer has been experiencing. This is because I am a master hacker. I hack computers and make them become hacked. Yep. I’m a hacker. Hackedy Hack. Hacker. Well, anyway, after an whole afternoon spent playing with various things that were supposed to help, one of them apparently did.

Also, since I am sure my nonexistent readership has tired of my plain-looking website, I have gone through things like my About page and my FAQ and added some pictures and stuff. Try to make things a bit more visually interesting. Every little bit helps.

Unrelated to my time off, I have noticed that according to the side of the carton, the grapefruit that I regularly drink gives me way more than the required daily dosage of fruits and vegetables. I am sure this is a good things, but finding that out really just highlights how much I don’t get of the other food groups. Oh, food groups, why are you so hard to maintain?

For the record, I am much better at Operation: Wolf than I was as a child, but I still can’t beat it.