Oh hey, Monday is going on…

I gots a Secret. A Secret Government Robots, that is.

Plus there’s the comic I started last weekend, but the computer killed it on me.

You see, the “it” that the coach wanted sent “outta the park” was not a baseball, as one might expect, but some sort of alien. And it isn’t even a baseball park. Oh, how odd.

Plus, some Phone Guys:

So, before work on Friday I wanted to finish the story I started last Friday the Thirteenth, so I did that. Since I’m not getting much work done on the Hover Head story I wanted to do, it is good to something with those characters again. Too bad I had no real idea what I was doing and I wanted to get it done before work (on Friday the Thirteenth) and thus ended with a story where even the characters don’t know how to end it. Oh well. The best thing about finishing a story is that it clears a little bit of space in my brain, and that has been accomplished. So that’s good.

Haiku!

Irresponsible!
You let the tiger get out.
Go to your room, Bill.

I had a movie idea the other day that I figure I should write down to prove I had it before it is inevitably made by someone else: Undead Monsters playing Russian Roulette while talking about their lives. Possible ending: the bullet goes through the ghost’s head and hits the mummy.

Okay, I wouldn’t have thought that this would ever be something I needed to clarify, but I am now stating, for the record, that I, Patrick D Ryall, am not Batman.

Almost without fail, any time I wear my T-shirt with the Batman symbol on it in public, I will be called “Batman” by somebody I don’t even know. The only possible information I can infer from this is that the only difference between me and the real Batman is the symbol. I mean, who am I to judge? I’m used to my face because of the hours I spend daily examining while I swear at myself in the mirror. Other people who see me only once or twice on the road don’t know the subtle differences between me and Batman that I do.

To help everybody learn, I’ve created an image that you should all print out and post in store windows, elementary school classrooms, and synagogues.

I mean, the only other alternative would be that people are just stunningly unoriginal and think that calling a person in a Batman shirt “Batman” is fresh and exciting. But that would speak poorly of the general populace, so that surely can’t be it. If that were the case there would have been a decade of people saying “Run Forest, Run” every time they saw someone running.

(Actually, there was this one time when I was walking down the road and some guy who was selling something called me Batman as he tried to get me to check out his wares. When I said that I wasn’t interested and didn’t stop he protested something like “Aww, but Robin did” which did amuse me.)

Why is it exactly that this song…

…which undeniably rocks in live performances can be so dull in the album version. I’ve got both on my computer and when it is playing random musics at me and the album version comes up, it just makes me sad. Sad because I know how good the song can actually be.

But that’s not actually what I came here today to talk about. Obviously, I’m here to give advice to the Catholic Church.

I’ve heard a lot over the last decade about “fast-tracking” people to sainthood (most recently John Paul II) to please the masses and create more modern examples of holiness or whatever they’re up to. The problem is, for Catholics to get to be a saint you have to be canonized, and that involves having to have been documented doing miracles after they die. That, I have to say, is pretty hard and to get these miracles documented, sometimes they come up with some pretty lame ones. And that cheapens miracles a bit. Plus, if saints are meant to be people we aspire to be like, most of us are probably never going to do any genuine Magic-Style miracles.*

I propose that, when I’m Pope in a hypothetical situation wherein I am Pope, the whole thing will just be a List of People We Think Are Pretty Awesome. You don’t need to do miracles for that. You just need to be Pretty Awesome. It’s hard to encourage the masses to do miracles. It’s not as hard to promote general awesomeness.

*Of course, I think all you wonderful people are capable of Everyday-Style miracles. That falls under the Awesomeness banner.