You Are All Forgiven

Why is it exactly that this song…

…which undeniably rocks in live performances can be so dull in the album version. I’ve got both on my computer and when it is playing random musics at me and the album version comes up, it just makes me sad. Sad because I know how good the song can actually be.

But that’s not actually what I came here today to talk about. Obviously, I’m here to give advice to the Catholic Church.

I’ve heard a lot over the last decade about “fast-tracking” people to sainthood (most recently John Paul II) to please the masses and create more modern examples of holiness or whatever they’re up to. The problem is, for Catholics to get to be a saint you have to be canonized, and that involves having to have been documented doing miracles after they die. That, I have to say, is pretty hard and to get these miracles documented, sometimes they come up with some pretty lame ones. And that cheapens miracles a bit. Plus, if saints are meant to be people we aspire to be like, most of us are probably never going to do any genuine Magic-Style miracles.*

I propose that, when I’m Pope in a hypothetical situation wherein I am Pope, the whole thing will just be a List of People We Think Are Pretty Awesome. You don’t need to do miracles for that. You just need to be Pretty Awesome. It’s hard to encourage the masses to do miracles. It’s not as hard to promote general awesomeness.

*Of course, I think all you wonderful people are capable of Everyday-Style miracles. That falls under the Awesomeness banner.

  1. I still don’t understand why the church has to fire people’s corpses from a canon before the reach sainthood.

  2. Heh. I believe that the Church ran out of cannonballs back in 1644 and they’ve just been improvising since.

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