I was reluctant to join Twitter when it was new. Eventually I did, though. And I got to like it.

Some people bemoan how “people are always looking at their phones” these days, but I can only speak for myself about how having the Internet readily at hand has made me happier. Back before I had a “smartphone” when I was caught out in the world, I didn’t look around with greater appreciation or some other idyllic feeling. My mind was just as chaotic then as it was after I got the phone, I just had to deal with it in different ways. I remember sitting in waiting rooms and just arranging everything on the tables so that they were at right angles to one another. I often used to just throw coins around randomly, like just hucking pennies into the street and such. I did minor graffiti on many occasions. All this was stuff I did just because I didn’t have something better to focus on.

Twitter was never the most important use for my newfangled high-tech phones, but it was high on the list. It would allow me, at any time, to check and see if any of the people I cared to hear about had said anything I might like to read. It was a source of entertainment I could pull out of my pocket when I needed it, and also it kept me feeling like I was connected to society around me. And sometimes I made dumb jokes on there*. And, perhaps most importantly, Twitter confirmed that I am the Pope now:

But it is now past time to leave that particular social media site. For what it’s worth, I have joined Bluesky, an up and coming rival for Twitter’s userbase. It is currently invitation-only but it has enough people on there that I can usually find something entertaining when I crave it (Which is good because Canada doesn’t have pennies anymore). But I will miss what Twitter was when I enjoyed it.

*Making dumb jokes on Twitter was never my favourite usage for it. I know the common belief is that we need to be careful what we say on the Internet because it sticks around forever, but a lot of the time that just ain’t true. I crave permanence and the Internet is an ephemeral place. If I had my way, everything I ever posted on Contains2 (or its Geocities predecessor the Adam West Batcave) would all be accessible on this website, but they just aren’t. This is why I got Marq to make a thing for me so that the things I posted on Twitter would show up on this site too (they also helped keep things visually more appealing here for a couple years), but that program eventually stopped working. Before I fully leave Twitter I am going to go through and find any jokes worth repeating here or turning into Phone Guys strips or whatever. But no matter how much I salvage, I’ll be losing something. That’s the Internet for ya.

Well, I guess they chose a Pope and I haven’t had a phone call or anything. I guess that means they picked somebody else. It figures.

Haiku!

Guess I’m not the Pope.
I guess they didn’t pick me.
Not yet anyway.

I guess maybe it is an alright outcome for now. I mean, obviously, I would be the best choice to run the Church, but since I kinda expect that I’ll be assassinated during my Papal career, I guess I can wait to be the next pope. Have a few more years before I dive headlong into gettin’ shot.

They say that there is a trend that a Pope will be quite different than the proceeding Pope. Fact: I am quite different from the proceeding Pope.

The Vatican Conclave to vote for Pope 2013 has started, I believe, and I have to mention again my availability for the job. I am literally sitting here ready, willing, and able.

I have to admit, I kinda don’t expect to be picked for the job. I think my radical plans for the Church would probably work against me among a large number of the Cardinals doing the voting. Also, the fact that none of them know that I exist. But, hey guys, if you elect PDR, it will be such a longshot that practically nobody will be able to deny the divine intervention. Make a miracle, Cardinals. Vote Patrick D Ryall for Pope.

Obviously the big Patrick D Ryall-related news of the day is the resignation of the Pope. I had not expected to become the Pope for another decade or so, but I am definitely ready to do so. Everybody tell everybody: Patrick D Ryall should be the Pope.

Haiku!

The time has now come.
Now is the time that has come.
Now is that time. Now.

Now, the Vatican may look at me and say “He just started school, he’s too busy to be the Pope,” but I assure you, I am willing to make compromises. I’ll talk to the university, see what they can do to help me, then I’ll skip some classes and only do the tests and stuff. My grades will suffer, but it will be worth it. After that I’ll just take one course at a time so that I can devote most of my days to being Pope.

Here we have another case where I know nothing about the Heritage Moment honoree excepting what the Heritage Moment tells me. I guess he is supposed to be someone I should know since his vision has circled the world and the company “still bears his name”, but I don’t know the guy or the company. Schoolin’ failed me again where television did the real work.

That said, I like Joseph-Armand Bombardier. Based on this propaganda piece at least. We have a bunch of kids thrilled that the store has got a new shipment of some sort of sporting equipment (those big hand paddles must be for… swimming? I guess? They’re like big webbed finger gloves?), but one kid is not interested. He’s got bigger plans in mind. He uses his money to learn about building stuff and inventing and he goes on to be Wicked Successful! Outtasight! I guess he invented the modern-style snowmobile and such, which is a good Canadian invention, so I approve. But I also like his attitude. He’s shown to be focused and driven, which is the kind of person I wish I was, so I want to be like him. Also, I like the way he pulls that one kid’s hat down over his eyes as he leaves the store.

This piece doesn’t rank high in the quotability department, though. That’s where it hurts. I guess “Hey, I can pay” is something, but it also represents where Joseph-Armand’s attitude can have downsides. The guy never said you couldn’t pay, Joseph-Armand. He said the tools weren’t for sale. This is probably because he was using them even as you were asking, you lunkhead! For my money, the real quote-line here is the nearly hidden “That is propequipment!” which is delivered just right to make me love it.

I can’t rank this one too highly. Four out of Six Pieces of PDR’s Reviewing System Cake. It doesn’t amaze or amuse as greatly as some, but it does its job and that is important. It is one of the Heritage Moments that builds the backbone of Heritage Moments. Solid showing.

I must add this though: Joseph-Armand made “a lot of money serving mass” apparently? What the chunks? Was I supposed to make money doing that? The Catholic Church owes me big time. Just sayin’. Just sayin’ make me Pope is all. Just sayin’.