From a look around the Internet and even in newspapers it would appear that Archie has chosen Veronica over Betty. Now, that is not the choice I would have made in his shoes, but no matter what the Internet says I doubt that this choice will truly be ending the long running triangle that has sustained that particular franchise forever. As much as I like to see Status Quo oriented corporate-owned things take risks rather than grow stagnant, I don’t think Archie is really going to do it. But still, Betty is like… Way Better. It’s almost a choice between good and evil and Betty is good. I mean c’mon, it’s the Veronicas of the world holding us back. Archie is an idiot. Of course, following the newspaper strip I’ve barely see Betty around for months but Veronica is always there. Archie is an idiot…

Haiku!

Cavemen from beyond.
They have seen the Milky Way.
And Now They Are Back!

During the time I was without computer and then without web site I had to put aside my plans to offer up some comments on the new Star Trek movie, so here’s the digest version.

I liked the movie. Of the new cast, Kirk is my least favorite. He’s alright, but he’s just not quite there. The new McCoy is almost eerily like the old McCoy and was thus awesome. Chekov was like an adorable little child. I like seeing aliens that look a little bit more alien, though they’re generally just standing around in crowd scenes. The plot was not all that smart. People spoke about Red Matter like I was supposed to have any idea what that was. And the villain didn’t engage me all that much. I bet the sequel will be able to weave a better tale. In this there were some coincidences to get the cast together that were a little bit distracting. A sequel won’ have that need to get them together, so it can pick up with awesome right away. Still, this was a fun movie.

Could I have a moment of your time to talk to you about Pluto?

Okay, first off, this right here is not exactly topical. Pluto’s reclassification from planet to dwarf planet happened last year or something, but I still hear the occasional reference to it, so I can pretend like it wasn’t just my procrastination that has kept me from speaking up.

But anyway, Pluto isn’t a planet any more. It seems like a lot of people had a problem with this. I, personally, didn’t see the problem. The reasons given by the scientists seemed to make plenty of sense to me (basically: If Pluto is a planet, then there’s plenty of other rocks in the system that are also planets). Now I doubt that everyone is just upset that what they were taught isn’t valid any more, but I bet that’s some of it. That, I can almost understand. But there are plenty of people who seem to feel that Pluto has been slighted or devalued.

I disagree. What makes planets so special that any celestial body that isn’t one is a loser? Nothing! I love them all! Comets! Dwarf Planets! Quasars! Nebulae! Moons! Asteroids! It’s ALL Good. You people are astronomical bigots or something.

I’ve complained about linear time being too fast for my liking and I’ve complained about not having anything interesting to write about. Those are my standard things I blame not writing here more on. Today I’m gonna blame something else: I was abducted by aliens. It isn’t necessarily true, but it’s good to have some variety in my excuses.

There were a couple questionnaires in the newspaper today. One for how depressed you are, one for how stressed out you are. According to the stress one, I’m living a good life. According to the depression one, I should be seeking medical help. Sounds about like I suspected.

Haiku!

Aboard the spaceship.
All the aliens were sad.
They had no robots.

The Sound of Silence by Simon and Garfunkel. That’s what I’m listening to right now. Good song. One of my favorites probably. I remember I looked it up on the Wikipedia once and it said it was supposed to be about the way the nation felt after JFK was shot, but it doesn’t sound right to me. If I were to pick my meaning, I would say it sounds more like a warning against people letting their interactions become hollow and meaningless.

But all of that and I still get the words mixed up in my head and replace them with “‘Your exploits have been sad and boring. They tell a tale that’s worth ignoring. When you’re alone, the words of your story will echo down the resthome hall” from the Simpsons. Ah the Simpsons. Good stuff.

Yesterday was Canada Day, and Pat is still in China, so to celebrate these three nations we’ve decided to combine them all. Somehow. I’ve yet to determine how this is going to be a good idea, but whatever. In fact, I really have no idea how to include Patrick into this as a nation, other than this being his co-opted website, but hey, keep watching.

• The Canadian Open (golf tournament) + Chinese Checkers = one messed up game. Think about it.
• Chinese fire drill** + Canadian goose = watching a bunch of geese in a flying V going south for the winter: stopping in mid-air, loop-de-loop and circle around each other for ten seconds, then getting back into formation and flying off as if nothing happened.
• The Canadarm + “China has a space program?!” = the Chinarm, wherein we can now have gigantic robot arm wrestling in space. The future is sweet.
• China Syndrome + Canadian whisky = alcohol so potent, it burns itself into the ground. They probably have that already. I wonder what they call it.

Wow. That was harder than it looks, and I’m fresh outta ideas. Not to mention, I couldn’t figure out a way of including Pat in there. Sorry, country-dude, but you need to beef up your exports, or something.

** For the record, Wikipedia says “thus the expression ‘Chinese Fire Drill’ is the act of a group of individuals accomplishing nothing.” I beg to differ. Whoever happens to witness such an event would (hopefully) be amused, or confused, or both. That’s gotta be worth something.

Celebrating the world,
–me.

Thunder and lightning is happening! That’s always cool. I’m pro-that.

Do you suppose there has ever been a man who got a rock embedded in his foot and then whenever he kicked someone he did extra damage? If so, I consider that a superpower.

Haiku!

Space is way to big.
All our rocketships can try,
But will not fill it.

I think it is this Fall that television networks are going to be allowing more time for advertisers. Is that really going to help fight against the Internets? I think not. Television networks, I think are losing this battle.