It Ain’t A Demotion, Scumbags!

Could I have a moment of your time to talk to you about Pluto?

Okay, first off, this right here is not exactly topical. Pluto’s reclassification from planet to dwarf planet happened last year or something, but I still hear the occasional reference to it, so I can pretend like it wasn’t just my procrastination that has kept me from speaking up.

But anyway, Pluto isn’t a planet any more. It seems like a lot of people had a problem with this. I, personally, didn’t see the problem. The reasons given by the scientists seemed to make plenty of sense to me (basically: If Pluto is a planet, then there’s plenty of other rocks in the system that are also planets). Now I doubt that everyone is just upset that what they were taught isn’t valid any more, but I bet that’s some of it. That, I can almost understand. But there are plenty of people who seem to feel that Pluto has been slighted or devalued.

I disagree. What makes planets so special that any celestial body that isn’t one is a loser? Nothing! I love them all! Comets! Dwarf Planets! Quasars! Nebulae! Moons! Asteroids! It’s ALL Good. You people are astronomical bigots or something.

  1. How would you like to be demoted to midget?

  2. Well that depends. If we mean I’m simply reclassified as Pluto was done, it wouldn’t change my life too much. If I were actually physically transformed, it might kinda suck, but I also think that the novelty might entertain me for a week or so…

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