In Memory of Stories Lost

I’m not bothering to update you on my groceries this week. There’s still some left, but I’ve lost interest enough that it is too much work to take it out of its various places and put it on my counter to take a picture. You’ll all get over it, I am sure.

But this month, I have brought you a random comic strip I wrote at work one night that would have been forgotten if I’d not bothered to put it online, as well as one of the very first comedical stories I ever wrote for the Internet. That one predates Contains2 by a bit. I think I first did it up as an email to Marq when I was bored one time.

It got me thinking about other stories I’ve made over the years that aren’t as lucky to have made it online. I don’t mean what’s left of the Contains2 stories that I’ve just not got around to bringing here yet, I mean the stuff that is well and truly gone and I don’t even have notes to salvage it. Granted most of these stories I, obviously, can’t remember, but there are a few that I do have faint traces of in my brain and I figure I should note them before I lose even that.

The earliest I recall was, I believe, in grade 2. We were assigned to make little illustrated books with a story in them and I can remember that my story combined Egyptian elements with cat people. Basically, what I am saying is that it was a Thundercats ripoff. Apart from that I can’t remember anything. I do know that my report card that year made an oblique reference to it saying that I didn’t adequately explain things in my stories, that I took for granted that people would know what I was talking about if I knew it. Stupid little me. Similarly I wrote a prose story in grade 5 that borrowed liberally from the plot of King’s Quest V. Plagiarism. It’s the easiest way for kids to write stories.

Also during my elementary years I remember a desire to make a Christmas movie and that I wanted a sort of Advent Calendar motif to open and close scenes. I was apparently deep. It was meant to end with a snowball fight, I think, and I remember getting in trouble when we started throwing snowballs to “practice”. Stupid little me. We also wrote a skit about bullying once and performed it at a school assembly. I’d love to find out someone got that on film, but I doubt it.

Around grade five and six, I guess, was about when I started getting into comics as well and it is no surprise that that is when I started making comics as well. I did a lot of the old fold-a-bunch-of-sheets-in-half-and-you-have-a-book style comics, including one about a superhero called Zappo which I don’t still have, but I do remember enough about the character that someday I hope to give him a home. Perhaps my other biggest comic effort was a couple sheets full of different comic strips with different themes, as if I were trying to create a whole Comics Page in a newspaper. I remember only two of the strips and one of them, I think, I will recreate for this site sometime. The other was a two panel bit with a Native American man sitting crosslegged on the floor/ground. The first panel he said “How” and in the second panel he said “ya doing?”

Sometime in either late elementary or early junior high I wrote just a couple of pages, pure description no story, about a family living in a house that was so empty people kept assuming nobody lived there and putting up for sale signs. I never did finish it, I don’t think, but I remember it impressing the parents and teacher types who read it.

In grade 7, I think, for an art class project I created a comic strip about a superhero called Dog-Thing. I got an excellent grade on that thing, the teacher wasn’t even willing to write my grade on the thing because he didn’t want to ruin it. Naturally I lost it at some point. Stupid little me. For years I assumed I would never see Dog-Thing again, but while the strip is indubitably gone I did eventually find a sketch of the main character. That means I can use him again! I haven’t got around to revealing it yet, but Dog-Thing is a retired founding member of the Team of Superheroes.

Around the junior high years I also created Little Choy. Now I can hardly call these “stories” but innumerable images of Little Choy insulting anyone willing to speak near him have been drawn on school desks and in text books over the years that I will never see again. Luckily every one of them is pretty much exactly the same.

For a grade 11 English class we had to write something and as I recall I did. I wrote something about an office being shot up by criminals or terrorists or something. Nowadays that might raise some alarm bells or something, but this was at least a year before the Columbine thing, so all I got was a comment from the teacher about how I use way more paragraph breaks than necessary and the teacher mused that usually he had to tell people the opposite. I’ve always bucked trends, I guess. I still tend to like smaller paragraphs better. And I guess part of the reason that writing that story didn’t make me look insane was because, as I recall, it was about a guy who encounters one of the criminal terrorists and while they can hear shooting coming from other parts of the building he actually talked the criminal terrorist into stopping.

Grade 12, I don’t even remember for sure which class it was, but this was after the point where I’d stopped actively trying in school, so on some exam I was taking I did what I could and then turned it over and wrote a story about a squirrel detective on the back. As I recall it involved some sort of mystery in a casino tree. I think there was a rabbit bouncer possibly? I really wish I still had this one. It sounds messed up.

Anyway, as I said, that’s just the stories I remember enough to know I don’t remember or have notes about. Who knows how many stories I’ve written that have faded into nothingness? I guess we’ll never know.

Unless Time Travel!

New Year, Just Phone Guys.

I’m afraid that’s all I’ve got for you this week. But hey, if we’re going to follow their exploits, I think that it is important to know why the Pete and Jeremy don’t do texting. So now it is settled.

Oh well. I can’t let that be all there is for the first post of the New Year, so here’s some nonsense image I had on Contains2. I have no idea what it is all about and I don’t think I did when I put it there either:

Also, I’ve just finished making a list of the books which I have read and own to compliment the list of my DVDs which was already here.

2010 Ender

And suddenly another year is gone. Too fast to be properly appreciated and the new one will likely wind up the same way. Everyone be sure to light a candle so that the Dark Lord Char’Nagh can see properly as he makes his rounds this year-end.

I feel that 2010 was a pretty decent year. Granted, I may just be feeling that way because the last few weeks have been pretty nice and the rest of the year was just mediocre. I mean, I’m poorer than ever and I didn’t get to do any travelling whatsoever in 2010, but hey, at least I didn’t have a computer die on me like in stupid 2009. I’m getting comic strips done at a rate that I’ve probably not met since the death of Contains2.

2011 however is going to be the year for the Book of PDR and its related endeavours. I will make this true. So bring it on!

Hey Kids, Comics! December 27, 2010!

Well, first and foremost, we’ve got the Phone Guys.

Just strange this week, I guess. But that is okay, because I have more to give:

I know I said that Secret Government Robots was going to be a monthly strip, but I figure I should at least cram one more into 2010 so that, at the very least, we can get to know some more of the cast.

So now we have seen the Secret VP and his assistant Ephraim, who is pretty much the sanest robot in the entire organization. Once the stable of characters is fleshed out enough, I may try to do an actual story.

But this week, even that is not enough! I’ve had a half-finished Hover Head strip on my computer for some time so I figured that it was time to get it done and finished.

This is the last of my run of Hover Head strips, though. I’d planned at least six more, but now that I’ve got a new font and the ability to hand-draw layouts before I computerfy them, I am going to halt production. Hover Head and his inability to quip properly will return in the form of complete stories, roughly 22 pages like proper comics. Expect the first story as soon as I can get it completed.

And there is more! I had to delve into the old Contains2 archives for something this week and I stumbled upon a comic that I’d put up there but had neglected to bring here. I now remedy this. It employs some manner of play on words!

The Numbers

Marq has been doing behind the scenes work to get the transfer to the Book of PDR to the new WordPress and all that. Thanks Marq! But in doing so, he’s discovered something that is, quite frankly, shocking. Well, not shocking I guess. But it’s… not interesting… uh… notable? Not really, but that’ll have to do. Here’s a list of roughly how many posts I’ve done in each year that the Book of PDR has been in business.

2006 = 100
2007 = 81
2008 = 68
2009 = 58
2010 = 60

Now, first of all, 2006 is the highest by far and I wasn’t even on for that full year! I started in May or something. I can only assume that this because in 2006 I was still working with some of my Contains2 work ethic. On Contains2, if I didn’t post something every couple days, I wasn’t doing it wrong. But since 2006 consisted mainly of Contains2 dying and me working alternating day and night shifts every week, two of many things that make me look back on 2006 as utter ballsack, most of my posts were just complaining about work. Eventually I got sick of those complainy posts and made a conscious effort to do less of that. Sadly I don’t have much else going on. I can sit down and think “What’s going on that I should write about?” and mostly the only thing going on is that I don’t want to go to work. That is not newsworthy, so I just skip it.

The low point of 2009 is a bit of a surprise. I guess that during that year I had issues with my computer, including it finally dying, but it doesn’t look like I did much when I got the new computer either. Now keep in mind that in WordPress there is a difference between Posts and Pages. Posts are what this is and all my journal or prose or all that. Pages are stuff like my FAQ or my About page and I have put more work into those in the last couple years (plus there are tons of pages that are not even published that I use to keep notes for myself) and I think most of my writing in 2009 is probably on Pages. So it probably isn’t as bad a drop as it looks.

I’m going to try to get 2010 up a higher, but I’ve only got a month and a bit left and considering I was quite happy with the way I just avoided talking about Christmas last year, I’m going to have to find something else to talk about. Weekly comic posts are going to help, though. And I can say this: I’m going to break the record in 2011. By a lot if I can help it. And I can.