The Besuited Beast

Governments are obsolete. Corporations rule the world now. If you want power, business is the route to take. But watch out, there are already those who have power in the world of commerce, and they don’t love competition.

The Besuited Beast works through proxy corporations and anonymous holding firms, but rumors of his existence have spread. People aren’t sure if he’s some sort of demon bent on acquiring wealth and power or simply a deformed businessman, but his penchant for hostile takeovers has made his intentions clear: complete domination of the business landscape. Those whose businesses are at stake might want to know more about there opponent, but who could investigate such a mystery? The Panda Detective, of course.

It’s inevitable that I’m going to write some corporate-type villainy every now and then, given my beliefs. That said, I’d try to be even-handed and not make literal monsters out of them. Except this time, I guess. I’ve got to have one.

The Burglaroid

Treasured things are kept behind closed doors and in locked boxes, which makes them a tempting challenge to a being who likes nothing more than to violate secret locations. From a mystical otherworldly dimension, the Burglaroid comes to Earth with no other purpose than petty theft. To him, the monetary value of an item is meaningless, but the sentimentality of the item is what is enticing. Most importantly, if someone is worried about an item being stolen and makes an effort to protect it, that is an item the Burglaroid will want.

But when a creepy freakish being sneaks into your house in the middle of the night and takes only some trinkets that only matter to you, who can you call? The police wouldn’t care even if they did believe you. Who could investigate such a mystery? The Panda Detective, of course.

I don’t know what my fascination is with using the -oid suffix for names on my Super Sunday thing here. I’ve got Conjuroid, Horribloid, Orbzoid. I had to cut myself off from doing it during the hero portion, but I figure that since I hadn’t done one for a villain yet, it was fair game.

Why two villains for the Panda Detective in one week? Why not? They just seemed to fit.

(Guest Coloring by my friend @sanityormadness)

Still got Phone Guys, though:

Zapgunner

With his green skin, antennae, and high-tech pistol, the Zapgunner is, in fact, not an alien being. Bernard Einhorn was a feeble two-bit conman, scamming people in bars just to get by. During one such con, Einhorn was trying to convince a scientist that he had proof of extraterrestrial life. He had no such thing, but his claim was overheard by an actual undercover alien, who thought his cover had been blown. In a panic, this alien arranged things such that Einhorn would be trapped in an apparently alien form, distracting the scientist while he made his escape.

And so Einhorn was transformed into an alienoid form, but he also found the real alien’s raygun. Quickly noticing its power, Einhorn was able to escape the scientist and start using his strange new energy weapon to go on a crime spree he would never have been capable of when he was a frail loser criminal. With the help of this strange fortuitous transmutation, the Zapgunner had his the big leagues. Once barely worthy of the notice of the police, he is now an opponent of the Guild of Crime Fighters.

Termination Dwayne

Dwayne Nelson, a resident of Hoboken, is a troubled man. Dwayne has issues with alcohol, with anger, with authority. Of all the people you would want to wind up in a high-tech battlesuit, Dwayne is the last. But, somehow, Dwayne has indeed become mentally bonded to a high-tech battlesuit. Isn’t that always the way?

But having a powerful suit of armor capable to bringing down buildings and standing up to military shelling has not made Dwayne’s ambitions any grander. He is still more likely to rob a liquor store than to try to conquer the world. To make matters worse, the bond between Dwayne and his high-tech battlesuit functions even from a distance. Even when HAULER brings him in and Dwayne is separated from his suit, he can mentally control it to come and break him out again.

The name “Termination Dwayne” is something that I thought up very young, and a sketch of the character has been in my files. Now he gets his chance to shine! Or whatever. Dwayne’s full name and the fact he was a drunken loser were all there in my notes with the sketch, so I didn’t have to add much here tonight. I tied him to HAULER because a drunken crook seems like the sort of thing a cop-powered robot would be used to arrest.

Hey! It is Hourly Comics Day, the day in which people chronicle their day in the form of hourly comics! So… uh…

Last year’s was better…

Well, I haven’t been saying much but the bare basics on here lately, so here goes:

I’m not extremely skilled at balancing school and work.

I’ve been pretty busy with school and work lately. Whereas last year I had a class in which I’d already read most of the material, I don’t have that this year. With three reading-intensive courses, I’m already behind on my reading and, realistically, I’ll have to start deciding which materials I’m going to skip reading altogether. I am enjoying these reading-heavy courses, but they’re a lot of work for someone who hasn’t the time to read.

Work, meanwhile, has been occasionally difficult. I drive a company car, which is immensely helpful, but since Winter set in, I’ve experienced all manner of problems. Flat tires, drained batteries, door malfunctions, and the steering column had to be replaced. I’m confident that the advantages of not having to own my own car still outweigh the disadvantages, but the scales are shifting. Because of the latest issues, the car has been in the shop this week, which means I lose a week’s worth of money, but I also gained some free nights in which I was able to accomplish some other things (like reading some things for school…)

Haiku!

Rainbows in the sky
burning all the world below
and laughing. Laughing.

Speaking of money, I got around to trying to find a roommate again at the end of December, but didn’t have much luck. Up until now I’ve been considerably better off financially than last year, but that is likely to change in coming months. Let’s see what happens!