Okay, I wouldn’t have thought that this would ever be something I needed to clarify, but I am now stating, for the record, that I, Patrick D Ryall, am not Batman.

Almost without fail, any time I wear my T-shirt with the Batman symbol on it in public, I will be called “Batman” by somebody I don’t even know. The only possible information I can infer from this is that the only difference between me and the real Batman is the symbol. I mean, who am I to judge? I’m used to my face because of the hours I spend daily examining while I swear at myself in the mirror. Other people who see me only once or twice on the road don’t know the subtle differences between me and Batman that I do.

To help everybody learn, I’ve created an image that you should all print out and post in store windows, elementary school classrooms, and synagogues.

I mean, the only other alternative would be that people are just stunningly unoriginal and think that calling a person in a Batman shirt “Batman” is fresh and exciting. But that would speak poorly of the general populace, so that surely can’t be it. If that were the case there would have been a decade of people saying “Run Forest, Run” every time they saw someone running.

(Actually, there was this one time when I was walking down the road and some guy who was selling something called me Batman as he tried to get me to check out his wares. When I said that I wasn’t interested and didn’t stop he protested something like “Aww, but Robin did” which did amuse me.)

Why is it exactly that this song…

…which undeniably rocks in live performances can be so dull in the album version. I’ve got both on my computer and when it is playing random musics at me and the album version comes up, it just makes me sad. Sad because I know how good the song can actually be.

But that’s not actually what I came here today to talk about. Obviously, I’m here to give advice to the Catholic Church.

I’ve heard a lot over the last decade about “fast-tracking” people to sainthood (most recently John Paul II) to please the masses and create more modern examples of holiness or whatever they’re up to. The problem is, for Catholics to get to be a saint you have to be canonized, and that involves having to have been documented doing miracles after they die. That, I have to say, is pretty hard and to get these miracles documented, sometimes they come up with some pretty lame ones. And that cheapens miracles a bit. Plus, if saints are meant to be people we aspire to be like, most of us are probably never going to do any genuine Magic-Style miracles.*

I propose that, when I’m Pope in a hypothetical situation wherein I am Pope, the whole thing will just be a List of People We Think Are Pretty Awesome. You don’t need to do miracles for that. You just need to be Pretty Awesome. It’s hard to encourage the masses to do miracles. It’s not as hard to promote general awesomeness.

*Of course, I think all you wonderful people are capable of Everyday-Style miracles. That falls under the Awesomeness banner.

Only one page of Secret Government Robots today:

I have a Little Choy comic over here:

And over here, Phone Guys:

There was meant to be another strip today, but my computer just froze up on me and I lost all the work I’d done on it. I guess it is partially my own fault for not saving even once, but it should not be forgotten that the computer froze up, not me. Man, my Computron Rex has so many bizarre and unusual problems I forgot that something as mundane as freezing up was a thing that could even still happen to computers. Oh well. I don’t feel like starting the strip over, so I’ll save it for next week instead.

So, I pulled another bit of writing out of the Contains2 archives. War, right? Good times.

But speaking of Contains2, remember last time I looked to see what was going on with our lost Contains2 domain? Well looking again now we find something even stranger:

But although I am offended by them not being the real Contains2, I do love that picture of the bored kid studying or something in the corner. Truly that is the effect that Contains2 had on people.

Or maybe that is the old Contains2 translated into Non-Englishese! That’s probably it. Probably.