Super Sunday: Sitcom Crossover Night

It’s time for a night of must-see situation comedies! A single plotline wends its way through four of the sitcoms established in earlier Super Sunday posts. And they resolve around this mysterious individual:

Chris V

Only identifying himself as Chris V (and that may be V as in five), this heavily-armed muscular man has lost his memory and is trying to figure out where he came from and what his mission is. He begins his quest by wandering around aimlessly, and he keeps getting hit on the head, which resets his amnesia between shows.

My Third Mother: Hannah and Evelyn try to enjoy a Date Day because they haven’t been getting enough time together lately. Their lunch at a fancy restaurant is ruined when the strange Chris V barges in and tries to take over the restaurant. In the B-plot, the kids meet Ray from the next show.

Minds of Their Own: When Ray sees Chris V’s superior fighting skills and impressionable state of mind, he tries to recruit the super soldier into a street gang, which consists only of him so far. While Ray brings the soldier around to frighten those who bother him, CJ and JC try more earnestly to help Chris find his origins, and discover the Oddity Shop owned by a family that shares their surname.

Kane’s Oddity Shop: The two Kane families mingle while Chris V is baffled by magic tricks. When Chris V is so surprised that he bangs his head again, he flees into the night dressed as a magician.

We Can’t Just All Get Along: Armed with magic tricks and his mysterious military instincts, Chris V follows police officer Ming Doswell to her home and tries to force her to help him, while entertaining her children in a bizarre hostage situation. Eventually, Ming captures the super soldier.

Flood River Prison: Chris V is sent to Flood River Prison, where the warden tries to use him as a hitman to take out problem prisoners. Sparkleshiner eventually solves everything by just magicking Chris V back where he is supposed to be. The audience gets no closure! Suck it, audience!

Notes

And the whole thing turns out to be a marketing campaign for some terrible action movie that’s coming out that weekend.

Super Sunday: Life’s Dumb Mysteries

The Situation

A private eye is sent on a missing person case, only to find the missing person almost immediately, but it turns out that the real mystery is even stranger.

The Characters

Edwin Gream

Edwin was a regular private detective until one day a woman came in asking that he look for her son Johnson, who had gone missing. Edwin started his investigation by checking out Johnson’s usual hangouts. And he was right there.

Johnson Tommy

Johnson informed Edwin that the woman who hired him was, in fact, not Johnson’s mother. That woman was an imposter, he says. She was sent by a mysterious cabal who have been trying to ruin his life. Johnson convinces Edwin to help him investigate another mysterious woman who has been following him…

Hannah Gale

The woman who has been following Johnson turns out to be unaffiliated with the mysterious cabal. She’s actually part of a secretive cult who believe that Johnson might play a part in a prophecy that the cult’s leader thinks will bring about a New Age on Earth. But it turns out that the cult’s leader is not who they all think he is. He’s actually a robot!

m473bo7

Posing as the human leader of a cult, the robot m473bo7 has been trying to make find its way in the world by creating a new religion based around establishing himself as a god. But now m473bo7 is confused because a lot of the prophecies he was making seem to be turning true on their own and he doesn’t know why. When Edwin and Johnson blow his cover, he hires them to investigate.

Notes

I envision this show as being terrible. It’s like one of those shows where the writers are clearly making up the mystery as they go (The X-Files or Lost, for example) but we’re doing it on purpose. Writers on this show would not be allowed to plan anything out more than two episodes in advance, and every episode would be required to include one “mind-blowing twist”. No fan of this show would ever be able to make a theory about where it is all going, because it is going nowhere.

Super Sunday: Class Kidder

The Situation

An amoral stand-up comic becomes a high-school teacher and teaches the kids extremely cynical lessons.

The Characters

Kira Kidder

Kira is a very amoral person. She thought her comedy career would be much further along by now, and since it isn’t she feels she is absolutely justified in doing whatever it takes to make money. One such scheme involved posing as a teacher to attend a fancy dinner. Though a series of mishaps and misunderstandings, one particularly poorly run high school went on to offer Kira a job. She went as a joke at first, but then she started to see it as an opportunity to shape the minds of the next generation. And maybe to get some new material.

Jeanette Voight

Jeanette was the student that made Kira decide to stay. She saw this shy introverted girl in the back of her class and thought “That’s what I’d be if I hadn’t learned to use comedy” and sought to help her. Jeanette doesn’t really like this strange new teacher who is suddenly very concerned about her.

Tom Geddows

Tom Geddows is the class clown. Jeanette things he’s a hack. If Tom is going to be disruptive in her class, she’s going to make him learn how to be funny while he does it.

Carter Towner

Kira hates Carter Towner. This kid is rather smart, pretty nice, and kind of popular. Kira intends to use this school year to tear him down. He’s too naive to even realize it, though.

Lucy Diaz

Lucy Diaz takes school very seriously and she’s starting to get suspicious of the new teacher’s qualifications. She’d look into it, but Kira realized that all she has to do to keep Lucy busy is give her assignments. After all, she takes school very seriously.

Notes

I had two types of sitcoms on my list of things to check off: One starring a standup comic, and one about kids in high school. Got ’em both in one.

Super Sunday: The Haunted Dorm

The Situation

A show about the occupants of a haunted dormitory at a crappy university.

The Characters

Gus Ghost

Gus is the ghost that haunts the dormitory. He died only a few years ago, when he drunkenly (and nakedly) tried to climb a statue on campus, only to fall off and land on burning keg (which he had lit on fire). Now he haunts the dormitory that looks down on the scene where this all happened. Is he embarrassed? No way! He was having fun and that’s all he wanted and all he still wants!

Simon Shlaw

Simon came to university to reinvent himself. He was never popular in high school, so he wants to rise to the position of king of university. He’s an absolute idiot, though, so it isn’t easy, but maybe with Gus’s help, he’ll finally get what he wants. In addition to popularity, Simon is also constantly seeking wealth and sex.

Dirt Billy

Dirt is a big dumb oaf who is the most kindhearted of the cast, but he’s also dumb enough to support his friends in whatever dumb scheme they are trying any given week. He is Simon’s roommate and he is only even able to go to college because his father is an extremely wealthy industrialist.

Morgan Goode

Morgan is a girl that the guys know. She met them when Gus tried to haunt her in such a way that she’d end up wanting to date Simon. That didn’t work, but she still hangs out with them for some reason. She is openly bisexual and Simon and Gus just use this as ammunition as they tease her for being a slut.

Notes

This would absolutely be one of those animated shows I don’t like. The animation would be terrible, and instead of any wit or cleverness, the jokes would rely on randomness and the characters being mean to each other. It’s the kind of show where the jackass traits of the cast are treated as if they are right and I don’t think they are. It’d probably run for a while, just to spite me.

Super Sunday: The Farniconigon Administration

The Situation

When Farniconigon, former Space Army captain, retired from the service after the war against the Flartians, Farniconigon went into politics and wound up as the mayor of the Capital City of the Nexus Planet, which some citizens consider the most important city in the galactic neighbourhood.

The Characters

Numbo

Numbo came to the Nexus Planet to escape a bad scene back home, on a planet run by mobsters who Numbo had angered. When Numbo arrived, everyone apparently mistook them for someone else, and Numbo went along with it at first because it was convenient. When it became clear that they thought they were the new Deputy Mayor, Numbo had to double down for fear of being exposed and deported back to their dangerous homeworld. So now Numbo has to pick up how to be a Deputy Mayor without letting anyone catch on that they’re a fraud, all while being worried that the actual Deputy Mayor will show up.

Mememem

The Mayor’s press secretary, Mememem is a something of a joker. He grew up on the Nexus Planet and knows how to connect to the press like a pal and win their confidence. He absolutely cares more about being liked than doing his job well.

Dvuncan

Dvuncan was rescued by Farniconigon during the war, so he is very loyal to the mayor. Now serving as Farniconigon’s personal bodyguard, he is the only one who has suspected anything strange about Numbo, but Numbo keeps deflecting suspicion with elaborate lies.

Goirby X

The head of security at City Hall, Goirby X is convinced the place is haunted. Secretly spending every night prowling the halls looking for evidence of ghosts, Goirby never got around to looking into Numbo’s background and certainly has no reason to suspect anything now.

Raybles

A writer for the administration, Raybles gets to lounge around and think up ways to put Farnicongion’s policies into words that will sell them to the public. Unfortunately, Raybles is perhaps a bit too philisophical in his approach and keeps using metaphors about buckets that only a Blegbo really could appreciate. Mememem wants him fired.

Notes

Obviously this self-serving excuse to flesh out my Farniconigon character would not ever be picked up as a sitcom.