Okay so, three nights in a row now my wireless internet connection has been off when I get home from work and I need to unplug the router for a few seconds to rebootify it. This, I say, is less than ideal. If it were to happen while I were here I could easily remedy it, but when I am away my computer has important computations to do and I am not there to fix it those computations don’t get done.

I wonder if this means I have to buy a new wireless router or if the problem is of some other nature.

It sucks being pretty much clueless about technology.

Okay, what if, hypothetically, I went out and added one hundred and fifty dollars to my already high credit card debt to purchase an external 1TB hard drive for my laptop? Would this make me irresponsible or just unreasonably optimistic that it will aid me in someday making the money back? Probably the first one.

Now suppose, hypothetically, that this was not a hypothetical situation, but was actually how I spent my afternoon and that I am even now transferring files onto it. This is the true hypothetical situation.

But hey, I almost payed ten dollars more for a different brand just because it was called Seagate and that is the name of the prison where Luke Cage got super powers. But then I realized I shouldn’t do that. But that would have been stupid of me. So I didn’t do that.

This guy is Paco McZap. He’s a lazy wizard from the Wrong Alternate Universe.

Previously on the Book of PDR:

Back in early 2009 the computer I owned was very virused-up and went and died. A tragedy to be sure, but the part that stings the most is that I had been writing a book and had none of it backed up outside of that computer. While most of the book was meant to be a collection of short stories from back in the Contains2 days it was framed by a sequence starring none other than the gentleman above.

Paco McZap was a young man who was discovered to have great potential as for magic, but as it turned out he was stupid and had a very “when am I ever going to need that” attitude towards his studies so he just became a lazy wretch who used magic to summon pizza delivery men to his tower quicker. I was quite pleased with how my attempt to tell his life story had been going so I am reluctant to try again because I don’t think I’d do it as well, but I’ve not forgotten him altogether. To prove this, I have drawn a picture of him. There you go.

Sadly, my time off of work is now drawing to a close. I can’t say I accomplished many great noteworthy, thanks a lot Nintendo Entertainment System, but I am pleased with the time as it was spent…

I used up all the gift certificates I’d had since Christmas for DVDs. I got Zombieland, Stand By Me, Tropic Thunder, Dial M For Murder and A Serious Man. Not a bad haul to add to my collection.

Haiku!

This is a haiku.
I wrote it on my website.
This is how it ends.

I seem to have fixed the problems my computer has been experiencing. This is because I am a master hacker. I hack computers and make them become hacked. Yep. I’m a hacker. Hackedy Hack. Hacker. Well, anyway, after an whole afternoon spent playing with various things that were supposed to help, one of them apparently did.

Also, since I am sure my nonexistent readership has tired of my plain-looking website, I have gone through things like my About page and my FAQ and added some pictures and stuff. Try to make things a bit more visually interesting. Every little bit helps.

Unrelated to my time off, I have noticed that according to the side of the carton, the grapefruit that I regularly drink gives me way more than the required daily dosage of fruits and vegetables. I am sure this is a good things, but finding that out really just highlights how much I don’t get of the other food groups. Oh, food groups, why are you so hard to maintain?

For the record, I am much better at Operation: Wolf than I was as a child, but I still can’t beat it.

So far being not at work is already feelin’ fine. I’ve gotten many errands done quicker than I usually do. And it’s only Saturday morning! Sweet. Let’s see if I can’t do something worthwhile with the time yet to come.

Of course, I’ve also got to waste some time. With that in mind we got Joust for the NES. I can’t say I’m any better at games than I ever was, but at least I’m playing a classic.

The only really pitfall of my time off is that my computer has betrayed me. Well, betrayed me is kind of a strong word. It implies my computer used to be on my side. My computers have always been about rolling their own way. I can hitch a ride and get some benefits from it, but they don’t really care if I’m doing well or not. This particular laptop had been doing strange things such as constantly turning the volume to maximum, making the letter “b” appear for no reason when I hit enter, insert, delete, right shift or the arrow keys and occasionally turns off its own ability to pick up wireless. Troublesome, but I was used to it.

But now it has all changed! Now it is constantly turning the volume to minimum, making the letter “c” appear for no reason when I hit enter, insert, delete, right shift or the arrow keys and occasionally turns off its own ability to pick up wireless. The primary problem with this is that, when my volume is maxed out, I can still listen to it. When it is minimal I can not. I have had music to play me to sleep since listening to the radio as a child and though I can sleep without it, I am convinced that I don’t sleep as well. I wake up feeling bad when I don’t have music as I fall asleep. I don’t know why, but it seems to be backed up. Also, without volume, watching the Daily Show and Colbert becomes pretty hard.

As for the change from letter “b” to letter “c”, that just freaks me out because I can almost imagine reasons why those buttons might accidentally write one letter, but for it to suddenly switch letters it just hurts my brain.

Computers, man. They’re complicated.

Apparently these problems are not uncommon with my particular make of laptop. I’m not about to open my laptop up and pull a plug any time soon as one dude suggests, but man I would like to. I just fear I would kill the computer in the process.

Anyway, later.