I did a thing! Somehow I have found myself participating in a thing called the One-Page RPG Jam 2024, which is a thing where people create role-playing games, the rules to which can fit on a single page. I’ve been tinkering with a PDR RPG for some years now, so the chance to carve off some of that work into individual slices and actually have something to show for it is very welcome.

My first one-page rpg is called “And Lo, The Wizards Shall Fight!” and it is lets two players generate some random Wizards and then have them fight with a system of my own creation that relies on dice and a deck of cards.

My inspirations for this are pretty specific and very much the sorts of things that PDR would connect. There’s the wizards duel in the Disney movie Sword In The Stone for a start. That’s definitely what I’d call the most mainstream inspiration. After that comes the climactic sorcery fight between King Graham and Mordack in King’s Quest V, which I figure was probably inspired at least in part by the movie. And finally there’s the fight between Modred the Mystic and Blade in Marvel’s comic Darkhold: Pages From The Book Of Sins (My favourite from their Midnight Sons line). Those are the big three, in reverse order of importance, because I took them in at a very formative age and they put a love of wizards fighting that has lasted to this day. I suppose there was also the computer game Magic Carpet, though I never played more than a demo of it, so my idea of it comes less from the game itself than from PC Gamer reviews of the game.

All of which is to say that And Lo, The Wizards Shall Fight comes from a long lineage of wizard duels. But now you can play it with cards and dice!

As I’ve mentioned before, the Order of Wallfixers of is a group of alien wizards who patrol the multiverse righting wrongs, especially when those wrongs damage the physical structure of reality. I covered a bunch of them during the Supernatural Sunday year, so now I’ll do a handful more during these Alien Sundays.

Hurnhaw

The Xemulo Wallfixer named Hurnhaw is one of the older generation of Wallfixers and prefers to keep things simple. Hurnhaw focuses entirely on the actual fixing of damage in the walls of reality, simply wandering from dimensional tear to dimensional tear and patching them up. Hurnhaw doesn’t make introductions to the natives of dimensions, and doesn’t make explanations to anyone, just goes about the repairs, then wanders to the next place in need.
Universe: Indigo+1

Coiditlah

Coiditlah is from an aquatic species native to the galaxy known as “The Circle“. Like most of the life in that galaxy, the idea of alien life came as no surprise, but Coiditlah was still surprised to develop magical powers and be propelled into the multiverse. Few things can make one feel smaller than awareness of the infinite, so Coiditlah’s reaction to the powers was actually one of fear and depression. Only when discovered by Hurnhaw and trained did Coiditlah learn to mellow out and accept the vastness of it all. Still serving as an assistant to Hurnhaw, Coiditlah returns home often to stay grounded.
Universe: Orange

Whitsenberg

The Wallfixer known as Whitsenberg is a stretchy little alien who can climb walls and spit acid. Trained by Nyrveek, Whitsenberg was dutifully researching an ancient library when captured by the Efmon family. Whitsenberg is currently being held in an Efmon prison, studied by Essan Efmon and his colleagues.
Universe: Bronze

The Warden

The Warden is a gigantic crab-like alien who is one of the most powerful Wallfixers. Realizing that the infinite array of universes is too much even for an organization like the Wallfixers to patrol, the Warden reinterpreted the Wallfixer tradition of teaching and training. Usually, that is taken to mean that they should find and train those who possess Wallfixer powers. The Warden decided there was no reason trainees needed those powers, and so founded the Myriad Worlds Police Force, an agency of unpowered individuals who prevent threats to reality. The Warden takes its current moniker from the fact that it watches over the pocket dimension used as a prison by the MWP.
Universe: Outside the Local Multiverse

At some point, I wanted to create a He-Man style franchise which would have a bunch of characters that would fight in space. The idea was that they were all wizards who rode around in space on magical things. They just stood on the backs of their “Steeds” (that looked like worms and saucers and stuff) and held on to some reins and soared through space. I didn’t have any notes, just a single page of sketches of some characters. I guess I’ll have to flesh out the idea now, taking the four characters I sketched and adding a few more more, and coming up with a concept. I can never have enough magical aliens, I suppose:

Goolo

Goolo is a Vurjileod, which is the species that invented the techniques of the Universe Wizards. Centuries ago the wizards there learned to draw upon the very powers of the cosmos, the wizard created magical steeds they could ride at speeds greater than light. Sadly, this power corrupted the species and they spread throughout space with reckless abandon, causing all sorts of damage, both to the Vurjileods and to the other species they met. Now, in the present, there are not a lot of Vurjileods left, and those who are, like Goolo, are trying to fix the mistakes of the past by keeping Universe Wizard power out of the hands of those who would misuse it.

Vutger

Vutger is a Universe Wizard of mid-level power. Strong enough to impress those who are not magically inclined, but not enough to make a name among other Universe Wizards, Vutger craves power and respect more than anything else. With that in mind, Vutger spends a lot of time posing as a god on primitive worlds, and any other time scheming against anyone more powerful.

Dave Walter

Dave Walters has a name that sounds human, but that is sheer coincidence. Dave is actually a Gurmikon, a species that has suffered under attacks by evil Universe Wizards in the past. Learning the ways of their magic, Dave has become very powerful and now opposes any and all other Universe Wizards, hoping to remove the knowledge of their powers from the entire universe.

Fhufoo

Fhufoo is a Trabban who has mastered the Universe Wizard skills and left the homeworld behind. Fhufoo has claimed a small planet and uses it to horde wealth gathered in travels throughout the universe, either going on treasure hunts or as an adventurer for hire.

Toyg Takarame

Toyg Takarame is a Groean, which is a large species whose homeworld is the seat of a royal family that uses Universe Wizards as its elite soldiers. Toyg is one of those, using the vast magical power to patrol the limits of Groean territory and defend against cosmic threats. Toyg is a noble and loyal sort, and pretty powerful as well.

Karradak

Karradak is the vilest of the Universe Wizards, interested only in serving his own interests. He is also one of the most powerful Universe Wizards still in existence, having killed several others to drain their powers. Wanting nothing less than complete and utter conquest of the universe, Karradak is as much a villain as one could be. He lost a hand in a fight against Goolo, but has replaced it with a spike, which he finds suitable.

Clobgins

The Clobgins are a four-armed bipedal species that has a singular large eye on their head and a thick tail. They stand only two feet tall, but their technology is so advanced that they would appear to us to be magical little beings. They’ve tapped into forces of the universe we can’t understand, so we can safely call them a race of alien wizards.

The Clobgin homeworld, Clobb, has been heavily modified since the forest world where they first evolved. Using their magic powers, the Clobgins have transformed it into a multitude of mystical domains, separated by bubble-like domes, that each have their own internal physics. From space, Clobb doesn’t even look like a planet anymore, it looks like a collection of multicolored soap bubbled floating through space where a planet once was.

Collesho is a wizard who lives in a domain that preserves the forest style of the world’s original form. The denizens of that particular sphere are the traditionalists of the Clobgins, the ones who protect the “old ways”. The rest of the domes are fine with that. They don’t care about the old ways, so let the forest wizards protect them if they want it so bad. Collesho lives in the old ways, tending an orchard that produces fruits that are perfect for potions and elixirs and unguents and all that.

Vydarn is a gruff miner in an underground domain. When the planet was normal, this domain would have been uninhabitable, the pressure and heat being too much for life. But now, the Clobgins can walk around in tunnels that run next to streams of magma with ease. Vydarn is mining for gold, which is great for making magical talismans.

Marmoi lives in a sky domain full of floating islands and airships. Marmoi is an adventurer who seeks opportunity wherever it arises. A lot of the time, this means that doing crimes, though. A particularly common “adventure” is gliding onto some island and looting their goods. Fun and profitable, but not particularly respectable.

A Fact About Clobgins: In most of the various domains of Clobb blood sacrifice is a very common procedure. In domains that can’t convince the population that being sacrificed is an honor, it is often a punishment for criminals or prisoners of war.

Universe: Brown

Last week I finished up with the Efmon Family, so why not go back to the other buffer I was doing this year for this week? You can’t stop me. These are the Order of Wallfixers are the good guy space wizards.

JuAb

There is an awful lot of freedom for those alien wizards in the Wallfixers. Once a being with suitable power is trained in the use of their power and they swear to use them to protect the multiverse, they’re free to go (To date nobody has sworn that oath and then gone on to break it by acting in their own self interests. After all, their training shows them pretty clearly what goes wrong when multiversal forces are monkeyed with, and it isn’t pretty). Some Wallfixers settle down somewhere they think they can do good works, others travel the multiverse looking for any trouble that may crop up. JuAb is more into preventative measures. Rather than patching up dimensional tears after they’ve happened, JuAb investigates evil types who have the technological knowhow to pierce universal barriers and, if it seems like they’re up to know good, JuAb will make its presence known. And JuAb isn’t diplomatic about it either. JuAb doesn’t offer warnings, JuAb hits them like a one-reptilebirdthing SWAT Team.

Nyrveek

Nyrveek is one of the elder generation of Wallfixers. She is very powerful and has located and, in her long years of service trained many younger members. But even an old alien wizard like she does not know the secrets of the founding of the Order of Wallfixers. As she gets older (several centuries old by human standards), she sees the multiverse around her in generally good shape (and her students are keeping an eye on it), so she has decided to look into the questions of the origins of her group. She now spends most of her time visiting the oldest alien laboratories and libraries looking for any clue to where the group originated.