I think I might have a superhuman ability to lose nail clippers. I even wrote a post about it a few hours ago including a haiku about how I can’t find them even though I own two pairs. But then I lost that post too. Superhuman, see?

I will not attempt to recreate the haiku, I am afraid. I could never recapture the moment and to attempt would just cheapen us all.

In other news, as my Halloween-time trip to NYC approaches, it becomes ever more apparent how much money I don’t have. I’m not going to not take the trip, obviously. But I am going to be suffering afterward (and a bit beforeward if I want to have money to spend…).

Such is the way of things.

Hey! Listen! I have just read in National Geographic that when Mallards sleep in a row, the ones on the end keep half of their brains awake to watch out for predators (here’s a link I found on Google about it). I consider this to be Way Awesome! They are sleeping as a team!

As Marq has just pointed out, it would be really unfair if they don’t take turns. If the two ducks on the ends are always the same two guys, well they’re just gonna be unhappy fellows.

This also goes a way to explaining how on Duck Tales when Huey, Dewey and Louie were sleeping one would inhale, another would exhale and the last would say “wakk, wakk.” Those guys were also team sleeping.

Ducks, man. Those guys are all right.

In other news, a few days back I updated my list of DVDs for the first time in like four years. Now the people will know DVDs were here.

OH HEY! Listen again! I totally just decided to add a picture of some ducks after posting the stuff up there, so I went into my Contains2 archives and searched for ducks. Along with this one tiny picture, I also found this post by a fellow named PDR from Tuesday 15 November 2005.

“Ducks have all sorts of magical prowess. They can fly and swim, which is like being an otter and a magic carpet combined. Also they have bills, kinda like a platypus or one of those dinosaurs that had bills. In fact, I’m going to assume that ducks are a combination of all animals. It seems the only logical explanation.”

Still holds up.

A year or two ago I bought a box of tissues solely because it had superheroes on the box. At the time I didn’t need them, I just liked that it had superheroes so I bought it. Hopefully revealing that weakness won’t lead to manufacturers of products like corkscrews and ladles adding heroes in the hopes of getting my sales. But anyway, I mostly forgot about them until this holiday season when I got something of a cold. Now needing the tissues and keeping the box by my side for several days I got to thinking about them once more, and now I must bring that thinking to the Internet.

There they are. They are out on patrol perhaps, notice a big monster and proceed to stop its rampage. That’s superheroes for you. I’ve no doubt that these guys are inspired by the Invincibles. They’re definitely a family.

First thought, I would say they are Environmentally friendly heroes. The green costumes. The slimy monster who eats trees and windmills (!!). The fact the tissue paper they sell was made of recycled materials. It all adds up. Perhaps they’re not like the Planeteers who only fight enviro-crime, but they certainly lean that way.

Individually:

• The little girl can fly and create some manner of, what appears to soap, which she throws at the monster. Perhaps she can create other things to throw and was just choosing something appropriate to the situation? The fact she keeps the pollution monster as a pet shows that she’s an idealist. Even that evil beast, she feels, could be redeemed with a little love.
• The boy, probably a young teenager has elastic powers. The way he raises an eyebrow before grappling the creature’s leg tells me that he is something of a jokester. But he is no loner. You can tell he likes being part of this family. Probably because they are superheroes and that’s awesome.
• Mom can fly and shoot some sort of energy from her hands. Either it’s a cleansing beam in accordance with the posited environmental theme, and this is why the pollution monsters shrinks, or it is just a straight-up shrink beam. Either way, that’s our finishing move for this skirmish.
• Now, the father is interesting. I have no doubt that his frame holds superhuman strength and probably nigh invulnerability. But what impresses me most is that he stays out of the fight. A coward? No, I suspect he knows that punching that thing’s face off is just going to make a mess and his family is more than capable without him. These guys have clearly done this before.

So that’s them. We don’t know their names or anything else about them. I have to wonder, though, did the person hired by No Name brand to create these heroes and decorate a box of tissues with them put more thought into them than went into the story. Is this a case of fictional characters who have been thought out more than their medium gives them a chance to show? Could their creator have given them names and origins or were they but a moment’s work and then forgotten. Were they a labor of love or a mercenary way to spend a day drawing?
Either way, this post is a monument to these forgotten heroes. We salute you! You’re still better than Aquaman.

I AM PROBABLY THE FIRST PERSON TO TALK ABOUT THESE GUYS ON THE INTERNET. I WIN.

My cold is totally better now.

I just finished watching Turtles Forever. I am very pleased that that movie exists. I’m all like OMG Technodrome! OMG Krang! OMG BEBOP!!!!!!! This movie made my day, for sure. Sure, some of the voices were not perfect, but OMG BEBOP!!!!!!! Five out of Six Pieces of PDR Reviewing System Cake.

Haiku!

OMG BEBOP!
Bebop is totally cool.
I love you Bebop.

In other, non-Bebop-related news, I got myself a pig-flu vaccine on Tuesday. So I am now immune to the pig flu, probably. This is practically a super power, practically. Go me.

And even with that super power, now I gotta go to work. Lame.

I go on a trip to New York City on Friday! As I pointed out to Marq, if we consider New York to be the underworld I am going there on Good Friday and returning on Easter Sunday. I’m just saying is all.

Haiku!

I am not Jesus.
If I was I’d have powers.
Wish I had powers…

I have never been outside of Canada’s borders, so this will be a first. Also, I will get to miss a day of work. I never have a problem with that.