Sadly, my time off of work is now drawing to a close. I can’t say I accomplished many great noteworthy, thanks a lot Nintendo Entertainment System, but I am pleased with the time as it was spent…

I used up all the gift certificates I’d had since Christmas for DVDs. I got Zombieland, Stand By Me, Tropic Thunder, Dial M For Murder and A Serious Man. Not a bad haul to add to my collection.

Haiku!

This is a haiku.
I wrote it on my website.
This is how it ends.

I seem to have fixed the problems my computer has been experiencing. This is because I am a master hacker. I hack computers and make them become hacked. Yep. I’m a hacker. Hackedy Hack. Hacker. Well, anyway, after an whole afternoon spent playing with various things that were supposed to help, one of them apparently did.

Also, since I am sure my nonexistent readership has tired of my plain-looking website, I have gone through things like my About page and my FAQ and added some pictures and stuff. Try to make things a bit more visually interesting. Every little bit helps.

Unrelated to my time off, I have noticed that according to the side of the carton, the grapefruit that I regularly drink gives me way more than the required daily dosage of fruits and vegetables. I am sure this is a good things, but finding that out really just highlights how much I don’t get of the other food groups. Oh, food groups, why are you so hard to maintain?

For the record, I am much better at Operation: Wolf than I was as a child, but I still can’t beat it.

Can’t really think of anything good to say, so instead I will proved status updates on PDR for everyone who follows his life:

Hey, remember how I was fighting a particularly tenacious wart on my left index finger? Well, as of January I have been able to say that I have won that battle. I suspect that I could have had that wart beaten at least six months earlier. I suspect that what I was dousing with Compound W for the last few months was not the wart but just callouses left by the constant warfare. Go figure.

I doubt I ever got around to mentioning it on this site, but another battle I have been waging for a few years was this melody I had a slight memory of but I couldn’t figure out what song it was from. Well, I finally figured it out. It was “You Won’t Dance With Me” by April Wine. Probably the reason I couldn’t find it sooner was that I was certain the song I was looking for was from the 50s. Oh well. I know better now.

Haiku!

You can’t break an egg
Until you tell it some lies.
That’s just how it works.

Final PDR update. I am pretty sure I am a werewolf. Hairy shoulders. Mammal. Sometimes I see the full moon. It all adds up.

And that’s that.

So, last week I totally got an extra half of a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup in my pack of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups.

See?

Do you see?

As you probably know, since Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups are awesome and everyone should know how they work by now, the average pack of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups comes with three individual Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. The pack of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups I bought last week had the normal three Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups and an addition half of a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup! You can kinda see how the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup on the right was a little bit damaged by the extra half of a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup which was smushed into the package with it.

Now it is unfortunate that sudden and unprecedented confusion for me on how to get the pictures from my camera to my computer delayed me a week in sharing this amazing news to the loyal public, but sure I couldn’t make such a claim without photographic evidence. People would assume I was just making it up for the fame. But I feel the announcement is not so abated because nothing else of interest has happened to me in the interim to mitigate its importance.

I got an extra half of a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup everybody!

Usually Patrick D Ryall does not make New Year’s Resolutions. This year, he is going to go against that trend. This year: Patrick D Ryall is making a New Year’s Resolution! Alert the newsmedia! Do it quick!

Are you prepared?

You had better be, because here it is:

This year, Patrick D Ryall is not going to buy ANY nails! None! At all!!!

THIS YEAR, I WILL NOT BUY ANY NAILS!

You may be in shock. Probably you are. Just take a deep breath and sit down for a while. Remain calm.

So, here’s a post that I’ve been thinking about doing for almost a year now, but being really bad at Internetting I just haven’t got around to it until now. Anyway, here goes:

Some guy at work recently called me “Pat”. Of course, by recently I mean about a year ago. It was a guy who works in a different part of the company whose name I didn’t even know, so his calling me Pat just struck me as being off somehow. I mean, lots of people call me Pat, but it is usually people who I now better. Often times even people that I’ve known a long time prefer to call me Patrick. This, I assume, is because if I am ever asked my name or if I ever have to sign something or introduce myself I will, without fail, call myself Patrick. I have often had people ask permission to call me Pat before they start to do it. Like “Do you mind being called Pat?” and I have to say “No, I’ve been called worse.” or something. And it is true. I have been called plenty of things (Some things I have been called: Patrick. Pat. P. PDR. Patty. Pappy. Peder. Pee Doctor. Doctor P. Pudrig. PDFNR. Pat Smear. Patroclus. Peacock. P-Cock. Patty Cakes. Mother Theresa. Patrick Rydol. Patrick Drywall.) So anyway, I don’t know why I found it caused me pause to hear this work guy call me Pat, but it did. I guess the moral is, I’m complicated.

On the topic of being named Patrick: I don’t like meeting other people named Patrick. Never have. I believe this is a problem that has mostly to do with my name being common, but not too common. If I were named Chris or Adam or Mike or John or some generic name like that, I’d probably be used to running into Homonyms. Or if my name was something really obscure, like Ordob, Wibbung or Hamham, well then I’d probably be so surprised to find someone with the same name that I’d actually like it. As it is, I’m just at that point where I don’t have to regularly deal with other Patricks so I don’t build up a tolerance, but I do encounter them often enough to be bothered. I guess the moral is, I’m complicated.