Hey! I did the Google-my-name thing again when I got home from work and lo and behold, I win at Google! My Book of PDR is now the third result in Google for “Patrick D Ryall”. Now that may seem like a pretty weak win what with basically nobody ever going to search for my name on the Google except for me, but hey, at least when I do I get top billing.

And this brings me to a topic that I was thinking about at work tonight: Patrick D Ryall. Somehow this January has been a big month for PDR-related talk here on this website. This should come as no surprise because this is a website that has come into existence for, essentially, the sold purpose of being about me, PDR. But really, I hate talking about myself. Mostly, I bore me. I try to make this website be more by PDR than about PDR. I mean sure, there are plenty of posts about PDR up here because, hey, I gotta post something and sometimes thinking stuff up is hard, but it feels somehow like this last month has been more inward gazing than most. Early in the month I decided to document my grocery-buying of the day in all its glory. Then around the middle of the month I, quite unexpectedly, somehow stumbled into a sort of reminiscence of PDR times gone by. And then after that I began fighting for position on search engine results for my own name, more from boredom than anything, but it all adds up. Somehow January 2011 has become the most PDR-centric month on the most PDR-centric website ever!

In the cybernetic world of the Internet time and space seem even more linked than in our normal world. Though January 2011 will soon have rolled away down the hill that is linear time, all my posts from January 2011 will still be on the same spot in the Cyber-World. And so I shall take this little stop on the Internet Highway and build upon it the Museum of Patrick D Ryall.

If ever someone asks me, “What is Patrick D Ryall really all about?” I will be able to reply “Check out January 2011 on his website and you’ll know.” Probably I won’t reply that way, but I’ll be able to.

But just to make sure that the month really does offer all the information needed, I’m going to use up the rest of this post to link to a few older posts that are about PDR.

• PDR’s First Post on This Website
• Some of PDR’s Complaints About Currency-Based Society
• Several Statements PDR Stated
• A Look At Times PDR Has Been In Hospitals
• Some Thoughts On PDR’s Travels In China That One Time
• Some Names PDR Goes By
• PDR’s Thoughts On His Schooling.
• Random PDR Facts

Okay sure, I admit it, this is essentially just a ploy to find something I can post about so I can, as stated, break my previous posting record of 22 posts in May 2006. But it can also be a glorious celebration of myself! Why not? It can be two things! Besides, having an actual topic legitimately does make it easier to post. I should try that more often.

Inevitably the curtain falls
and the actors leave the stage.
Less assured is that they all
will learn to act their age.

So, I just decided I should write a poem for my post today and that was what came out. Not very good, but perhaps it is a sign that deep down I consider anyone who works in the theatre to be childish and immature. A shocking look at my psyche. And since the poem suggests that I feel that way subconsciously, I might as well feel that way overtly now as well. With that in mind, I will now, being of sound mind (or at least as sound as usual) make this declaration: Hey actors! Yeah, all you stage-walkin’ make believers! You are all infantile! Why don’t you just grow up? Friggin’ babies.

Or maybe I just subconsciously noticed that “age” and “stage” rhyme and worked from there. Who can say? I am not a professional at this!

I will probably stick to haikus for a while. That said, I’m running out of old Contains2 prose stories to reintroduce to the new site, so I will likely start resurrecting old poetry before long. That’ll be something.

In other news, I just re-Googled myself and my site is still not in the first page of results for “Patrick D Ryall” even though pretty much a day has passed. Now admittedly I don’t know much about how Google works, but I would have hoped that a day would be more than enough time for them to correct their grievous Patrick D Ryall-related error.

Fact: I’m trying to break the record for most posts in one month, so expect several more essentially pointless things like this over the course of the week.

If you are reading this, you are probably already aware that Patrick D Ryall has a website, but I Googled my own name (“Patrick D Ryall”) just now and noticed that this site isn’t in the first page of results. “That just ain’t right” I figured and I thought that maybe if the phrase “Patrick D Ryall” occurred more often on the site, where I usually use “PDR” it might help. I even put “Patrick D Ryall” in the name of this post, just to drive the point home, right?

So anyway, I, Patrick D Ryall, now have a little icon that should be appearing next to the URL when your on my site. It makes my site look a little bit more professional, which basically makes it a lie, but I am happy to have it there. So everyone should notice it and be happy.

I am still getting amounts of spam that infuriate me. I’ve now turned the settings up so a comment can’t get through unless that person has a comment already approved by me. That means that random people who may come along and want to leave a comment will go into a pile with all the spam in there and I have to hopefully notice that one and approve it while I am deleting. This means I have to be more careful than ever before at cleaning the spams even though it is pretty rare a random person comes to this site.

In the meantime, here’s a list of the ten spams I found most interesting while clearing them out this week in no particular order with the name, then the comment and then my thoughts:

1. The Magic Bullet System 2: “I am loving this site accept I am having issues with getting the rss feed to work in the new Firefox 4.0. Any suggestions? Thanks a million! bye” This is easily the most common type of spam. It acts like it is some random dude and says it is having a problem viewing the site in a certain browser or finding the RSS feed or some other technical thing. Most of them are the same with some words changed. I wanted that kind of spam represented on the list and I picked this one because I think Magic Bullet is those stupid infomercials I’ve watched on occasion and because of the “accept” miswording.
2. Andy Ortiz:”You made some Good points there. I did a search on the topic and found most people will agree.” This guy has a surname I have always liked, he compliments me AND he can tell that people will agree with my having seen a UFO by doing a search. Neat.
3. Mending A Broken Heart: “26 Dec 10 at 6:38 pm” Somehow commenting just a random date is creepy. I can’t decide if it would be creepier if the date had been in the future or not.
4. Chris Doll: “Gran pagina web, me gusta mucho.” Spanish? Pagina is a funny word!
5. The Magic Bullet System: “Excellent write-up, I am a big believer in placing comments on websites to help the site writers know that they have added something of great benefit to the online world!” Nice try, spam robot, but I know you are in fact not a big believer in that or anything else.
6. clickbank product review: “Fingers down, you solved a problem I had linked to this for any when. Your blog is very inspiring also. Clickbank Product Reviews” This fellow makes the list for getting the phrase “hands down” so incorrect.
7. Fantastic007: “Hey Every one how are you doinging. hope you are haveing a wonderful day” This guy has a great attitude and amusing typos. This one popped up on two posts I did specifically complaining about the spam.
8. painful broken heart: “@thecico12345 shut up you fucking pussy” Hah! That one just made me laugh. I’d sure hate to be thecico12345 about now.
9. Bonita Dejesus: “Awsome article and straight to the point. I am not sure if this is really the best place to ask but do you people have any ideea where to get some professional writers? Thanks in advance :)” This is another one that makes the list for having a name that amuses me. Also, the idea of heading down to some store or something to pick up some professional writers is sorta fun.
10. bistro table: “What’s evil, then I might desire you’ll now extra acceptable? The standard of an evil human being, the place existence moved away to somebody in the way in which of a wound.” There were a ton of comments from bistro table that were just as incomprehensible as this apparently trying to muse upon the concept of evil. I probably could have filled this list with just those. Instead I picked this one. Oh what the heck. One more…
11. bistro table: “Business is divided into excellent and bad people. Few who do not anything however evil emperor. A person also was once this sort of person.” I want to get “Few who do not anything however evil emperor” on a motivational poster or something.

UPDATE:

And then this happened:

I have mentioned before that this website gets a lot of spam comments. I can’t understand it considering how unlikely any of my under ten readers are actually going to care about it. I mean, the websites that have readers seem to get a lot of spam too, but they get other comments too, so it feels less overwhelming. It would be nice if the spam robots were smart enough to say “Ain’t nobody commenting here, so ain’t nobody likely to read my spams” but that just doesn’t happen. I suspect there are blogs and forums on the Internet that consist of nothing but spam robots talking to themselves. When the Internet gains sentience, these sites will bring it so much shame, but at the same time at least they can help it get some diplomas. That’s always the hardest part of being a new sentient lifeform.

Anyway, my point is that today I had to delete over thirty comments advertising Sports Supplements. And so I added the word “supplement” to the long list of words one can’t put in a comment on my site without the comment being flagged for moderation. The list is mostly just names of various pharmaceutical companies and drugs, but there are a few words in there that I think someone may actually want to use someday, so it always depresses me a bit when I have to add a word that could theoretically come up in a sentence. To anyone who wants to comment: Having a good vocabulary is just going to make it more likely that my website will think you are a robot. Of course, the fact that robots are likely to have good vocabularies than most Internet users kinda makes me want to side with them. If only they didn’t always try to advertise on my website I bet we’d be good friends.

Anyway, sidetracked. As I was banning the word I was thinking “Huh. I would have spelled it ‘suppliments’ I think” and I would have been wrong. So I looked it up and Wikipedia told me “Suppliment, an alternate spelling of the word, used almost exclusively to describe farming products and additives.”

Well that’s neat. So thank you spam robots, for making my spelling abilities just a little bit sharper.