If I had four arms,
I would wear a glove on one.
That would be my glove arm
and I would call it number one.

If I had four arms,
On one I’d keep a shoe
in case I ever lost a leg.
That would be arm two.

If I had four arms,
On one a duck would be.
He’d keep me out of trouble,
from there on number three.

If I had four arms,
I’d cut the fourth one off.
As nearly as I can tell
Three arms would be enough.

Now I don’t want to appear sexist, but I couldn’t help noticing that when I’m buying one or two things (usually a chocolate bar and juice) female cashiers tend not to ask me if I need a bag or not give me one. The males just stick it all in a bag with no question. Is this because the men are more considerate or because the women are smart enough to realize that I have big pockets and the items won’t last long in any case? I’m not sure, but in either case it’s a fact.

Also, I see more old women on the bus than old men.

And I did once put “I’m not sexist” as a hobby on job application.

I’m going to sleep early. How does that affect you? Well, in sleep I’ll be using less oxygen than I would if I were awake. You’re welcome.

Mostly, I’m just tires, so I’ve nothing to say.

If I had a friend who happened to be a mind-reading robot, I’d take him on a trip to Ireland. Can any of you honestly not say the same thing? While there, he’d look at castles and I’d think wisecracks that only he’d hear and then he’d start laughing and some tour guy would be all “Is there a problem?” and he’d try to cover it up. Yeah.

Haiku!

Forever is lame.
I prefer eternity.
It has more letters.

I played more Zelda (the Minish Cap) this weekend than anything. As if I didn’t find my time off short enough… Ah well, at least I’m totally way farther than Marq and it’s his freakin’ game.

According to my research (some article from a newspaper last week) less than half of the Canadian population has dreams in which they themselves are the main character. Now, I’m always the star of my dreams, so I don’t know how people could be in any other situation.

Oh wait, I see now, I star in your dreams too, don’t I? I guess that isn’t so bad after all.

Vomit would be a funny word even if it didn’t mean puke. Even if Vomit was a kind of cloud formation, it would be a funny word. “Hey look at all those cumulo nimbuses and vomits.” It’s just true.

Because of the holiday on Monday (whatever the chunks holiday it is) I don’t have to do the work I usually do on Saturday nights tonight. Instead, I do stuff that would usually be done for Monday. Go holiday! You make little difference to me!

I get spendcrazy when I work a lot. I’ve bought so many toys/comics/DVDs and such lately that I could have bought a goat for an African family and have had change. I know the prices. I honestly could have. I’m going to go eat so that I won’t feel so bad about that.

Haiku!

Dancing in the rain,
Jainie slipped in a puddle.
That is how she died.

I’ve often said that the year I was unemployed was the best year of my life. But then I look back upon it and I see I left my job with plenty of money and didn’t have any bills to pay or anything like that. I wasn’t unemployed. I was freakin’ retired. Dang, I don’t want to have to wait another fifty years for it to happen again.