I had a dream I was back in New York last week. It was pretty sweet. So anyway, here’s some more memories of my trip there in November:

Around Central Park, some guy came up to me and told me he was selling a CD he’d made. I figured, hey, I could give that to Marq, I could. He’s the type of guy what would be interested in music stuff some random guy came up with (Kiiip meanwhile got a keychain with a sexy fireman). Anyway, here is what the album cover looked like:

So anyway, I paid five or seven bucks (I don’t remember which) and that was that. Eventually I came home and since I didn’t see Marq for like a month after my return, the CD just sat on my filing cabinet innocently. Then, when I finally do see him and give it to him, he tries it and finds out that it is way blank. It’s a blank CD. Guy is totally just scamming folk into buying a blank CD.

It’s a brilliant scheme, really. Buy a stack of CDs, throw some album cover on there and tell people you made some music. But what really makes it work is the bizarre and even confusing level of detail. The fact that he threw a twitter address on there? That’s awesome. The adorable little kid holding something (a cucumber?) and apparently having been awarded second place in some event (cucumber championship?) is also pleasing because of how nonsensical it was. And the fact it is labelled “Part 2” (or is that Part 0.2?). It is so much detail for a completely pointless cover. You could get as much of an effect with an album cover consisting of white text on a black background, probably, but this guy went above and beyond.

I can even forgive “alot” being one word and “N” being used for “and”. The whole money-grubbing theme of the title, which I had considered unfortunate at first, makes perfect sense as part of the scam. Basically, I’m saying, this being a scam is probably a far better present for Marq than an actual CD would have been.

The only drawback I can see is that maybe he will make people less trusting of actual people trying to sell actual music they’ve actually made. But y’know what? Screw those guys. They should stop trying to live their dream and get jobs that will help society. Like selling neckties or something.

Anyway, while I’m on the topic of my trip, I remembered something else that occurred while I was in New York. It goes a little something like a this:

I was at FAO Schwartz (the toy store where Big danced on a big keyboard) and I saw massive Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups for sale. Like, huge. When I picked it up, it was heavier than a hardcover phone book. It was two cups, each the size of one of those frozen chicken pies they have at the grocery store. So, I saw these and I was like “I’m buying that thing and I’m going to eat it with my mouth!” so I took it and when I got to the register I was told it would cost like TWENTY-FIVE Dollars!!! (!) Now, I ask you. What is the real scam here, that guy selling the fake album, or candy so prohibitively expensive that it makes any hatred that poor countries feel toward us entirely justified?

Anyway, I still bought it of course. The day that I got it, one of them was the only thing I ate, it filled me so much. It was deliciously disgusting. If you ever want to cure someone of a Reese addiction, force them to eat one of those. By the end of that first cup, I never wanted to eat another item of food in my life. With the second cup I took my time and it lasted a couple more days and didn’t make me hate myself as much. So twenty-five bucks is one expensive candy, but it did last three days. Weigh the options and see which is more important to you. I think I can only give Giant Reese’s Cups Three out of Six Pieces of PDR’s Reviewing System Cake, because that’s about a perfect representation of their balance between horrible and wonderful.

So, I’ve got this big cookie that was wrapped in saran-wrap style stuff when I got it, right? So I eat about half of it and try to wrap the remains up for tomorrow and the wrap doesn’t fit anymore. What the chunks is up with that? There’s less cookie for it to cover now than it did a few minutes ago and it can’t make it. Sometimes the world just doesn’t make sense. I’m assuming this has to do with aliens somehow.

Haiku!

Damage the balloon!
We have to cause it some harm
or it will harm us.

Marq ain’t got no Internet. Sometimes things are downright inconvenient. Still, from what I understand Marq’s updating of This Very Website is coming along well and it shouldn’t be long before we’ve got a new design and hopefully a new method of displaying the comics and stuff. Certainly my current method of big pages with all the images isn’t the nicest mode. While 2011 has certainly been my most productive year on my Book of PDR, I’m hoping 2012 could continue the trend.

Also, I ain’t got no money. It’s kind of annoying. It makes buying things more difficult, that’s for sure. I think, realistically, I’m going to have to move to a cheaper apartment in the new year. That sucks. I’ve been here for, like, seven or eight years. Sure, a two bedroom is more than I need, but I’m attached to it. Plus, moving is a pain in the neck. But that’s the price I guess I have to pay for not having money. Because not having money proves that I don’t deserve my apartment.

UPDATE: Like half an hour later. So anyway, as anyone who knows me well can attest, I have serious neuroses about food going bad. Because that thin layer of saran wrap couldn’t contain that cookie I felt like I had to eat it all now and now I’m all like “ooooogghhh, I feel gross and cookie-filled” and now I also don’t have any cookie for tomorrow. It’s not easy being PDR

There was an article in the paper not last night but the one before that described something as “possibly suspicious.” What the chunks does that mean? How can something be suspicious, possibly? That’s what suspicious is! Consarnit!

Anyway, it annoyed me, so I wrote about it, but I haven’t much to say just now. As you were.

Here’s something: I don’t like to drink tea. No type of tea has ever been an appealing beverage for PDR. Sometimes people who like tea try to convince me to try it. And somehow, every time this occurs, I end up using the expression “It’s not my cup of tea.”

This is never done intentionally. I’m not purposely making a pun in this instance. It always comes out of my mouth before I can catch it. And the weirdest part is that, as far as I have noticed, it isn’t an expression that I often use in other circumstances. If someone was trying to get me to like lobster, I’d just be like “Nah, I don’t like lobster” but with tea it’s always “Nah, it’s not my cup of… dammit!”

Sometimes I wonder just what goes on inside my brain.

So, I pulled another bit of writing out of the Contains2 archives. War, right? Good times.

But speaking of Contains2, remember last time I looked to see what was going on with our lost Contains2 domain? Well looking again now we find something even stranger:

But although I am offended by them not being the real Contains2, I do love that picture of the bored kid studying or something in the corner. Truly that is the effect that Contains2 had on people.

Or maybe that is the old Contains2 translated into Non-Englishese! That’s probably it. Probably.