Senator Lizard is back with a new album!

I admit that, even though I want Superman to be about more than just confrontations with supervillains, I’m jealous of the superhero franchises with better rogues galleries.

Sure, Superman’s got some big name villains. Lex Luthor is pretty much known to even the common folk as an classic example of an arch-nemesis. Brainiac has had an impact on the culture at large, though I’m confident that not everyone who calls someone a “brainiac” realizes they’re invoking a Superman villain (and a similar situation exists with Bizarro, if we’re counting him as a villain). General Zod probably just juts into the public consciousness, coming second only to Luthor for villains in the Superman movies. Any Superman villains beyond that point, I’d say, are not known to the public. That’s not to say that there aren’t some more good ones, just that Average Joe Aversageson will not be familiar with them.

When I look at other heroes, especially Batman and Spider-Man, I see casts of villains that are much more esteemed. And I’m jealous. Superman deserves that.

Why does Batman have better villains than Superman? I credit one specific reason: The 60s Batman show with Adam West. Even if there was a reaction against the campiness of that show, it managed to bring an awful lot of Batman’s villains into the public consciousness, which cycled back into the comics by making writers explore those famous villains and really flesh them out. Compare that with the 50s Adventures of Superman show, which brought none of Superman’s villains to the screen. 90% of the antagonists on that show were generic mobsters and got no characterization at all that would make them memorable. There were no repeating villains either. Even when they’d reuse an actor to play a villain, they’d be playing some new generic mobster, instead of the one they’d played before. This show, which had many things I enjoyed, and which ran in syndication for an eternity, did zero work towards introducing Superman’s villains to the world. And that is why Superman’s villains aren’t up to snuff today. I have spoken.

And so, in addition to discussing Superman’s supporting cast, I will be taking frequent looks at his villains and discussing how to make them work. One simple rule is that I will only work with existing villains. I don’t think creating new Superman villains is necessary, and it only further dilutes the existing ones, especially when writers make the mistake of trying to inflate the importance of the new villains. That’s a thing that, even to this very day, is still working against my goals.

Anyway, tune in next week for discussion of a villain, same Pat-Time, same Pat-Website.

I mentioned it only briefly on this site, because I was ill at the time and that took more of my attention, but last year I witnessed an apparently-drunk driver hit a parked car. I reported it to the police at the time, and gave a statement and all that, and figured I’d never have to care about it again. But then, just a month or two ago, I got a subpoena telling me to appear in court. I was surprised to learn that it is apparently common for things to take this long, or longer. I don’t know what I was expected to contribute to the proceedings. If I was expected to pick out the guy in court, I was not confident I would be able to remember what a guy I saw for about four minutes over a year ago looks like (I was, in fact, very confident I would not be able to). But I had planned on going, because that’s what the paper told me to do. And since court is done in the daytime (not like on television), that meant I’d have to be awake in the daytime. It’s terrible.

I booked two nights off work and began adjusting my sleep schedule to minimize how much I’d hate the world. But then, yesterday, the day before I was supposed to go to court, I got a phone message telling me the driver had plead guilty and now I wasn’t needed. I wish I’d been told that week earlier, eh?

Anyway, in the buildup to this, I noticed that, on the night I witnessed the event, I wrote a note in a text file on my desktop and still had it. Even though it’s been a year since I gave the info to the police, I’d hate to delete this, so why not stick it on my website?

It was about 4:50 and I was heading downhill at around 5300 South St. There was a vehicle (a big vehicle, some kind of jeep or suv or something. It was a dark color, perhaps black or dark blue or something, it is hard to tell at night) about three car lengths ahead of me, which had pulled onto the street making a left turn from Queen St. just as I was finishing my delivery nearby. This vehicle was about three car lengths ahead of me, moving the same direction, until it hit a car parked at the right side of the road. The vehicle continued moving forward after the hit, for some distance, but I don’t know if it was trying to continue driving or just if it was rolling after the driver had lost control. When the vehicle stopped, I stopped as well. I approached just as the driver was getting out and going around to the passenger’s side to see the damage to his car. The front wheel on that side was badly damaged and seemed to be nearly coming off.
I asked if he was okay, he said he was. I asked if he had a phone, but he did not answer that, just continued looking at the damage. I did not see any other passenger in his vehicle and he seemed fine. With the damage to his vehicle, I did not think he would be a risk for a Hit and Run, because he would not be capable of the run part. Still, I wrote down his license plate just in case (F** **7). Since I was still working, and since it didn’t seem like I could do anything there, I left to finish my next delivery.
The driver of the vehicle was either a white male, or a very light-skinned brown. He had dark hair, probably brown or black, and (I think) glasses and facial hair. He was wearing light clothes.

And now that that is immortalized on my site, I can get it off my computer. Anyway, as I write this, five hours from when I was due to be at court, I note that I actually have some disappointment that I can’t go. I felt that way too the time I got out of jury duty, but this would actually have been easier even than that. While jury duty would have disrupted my life for a week or more, this was a day or so tops, I assume. It would have been neat to see how things work. Ah well.

A group of teenagers investigate supernatural strangeness and, when necessary, beat it up.

When these four friends investigated their first mystery, a strange kid in their neighbourhood, they made a friend in the half-human, half-otherwoldly creature named Byron G. Rothschild. Now that they have a real live supernatural being on their side, there’s nothing they can’t handle, right?

Lucy Suss

The leader of the Mystery Fighters, Lucy is an expert in all things rope-related. She can tie or untie knots, she can throw a lasso, and she is always prepared. She’s an expert at making connections, with ropes and with mysteries. She’s the one who ties the team together.

Lucius Suss

Lucius is Lucy’s twin brother. He’s a sensitive quiet type, who gets overwhelmed when he’s in a loud environment or a crowd, but he is extremely perceptive. He’s the one who will pick up on little details that the others may miss. He uses a specially modified shield when he fights mysteries.

Marjorie Steeler

She may seem like the team’s muscle, and she is, but Marjorie is no dummy. What she likes is the research part of an investigation. If she gets to go through some town’s old newspapers or a murder victim’s diary, she’s ready and willing to turn up whatever facts are needed. She’s also in the contending for the world record of Most Mummies Punched.

Dorian Clock

Dorian is the team’s tech guy, but he’s also the team’s public face. He’s more social than those other losers, so he manages the team’s website and social media presence, and is the one who drums up their cases. He’s also the team member that is least useful in a fight, though the others don’t hold it against him.

I’m calling it a sitcom, because that’s what this year is about, but I see this one more as an action mystery show. It’d be comedic, because these are idiotic teenagers, but if it were a real thing, I’d want actual mysteries. Someone pay me to make this show happen, please!