Exkibos

The Exkibos live on a planet called Uksteron, a world with an orbit that causes long periods of winter between very hot summers. The Exkibos live in the hottest regions of the planet, and hibernate during the winters. The planet has no satellites, and the only other planets in the system are so distant that the Exkibos have not yet noticed them.

Exkibos are three-legged creatures with a flexible appendage growing from their foreheads. On average, an Exkibo’s height would be about half of that of a human. Exkibo society is one of strict hierarchy, with the ruling class claiming to be descended from legendary heroes, and the vast multitude living in poor conditions to serve the royalty. The heroes of legend may not even have ever existed, but the tales shape modern Exkibo society in many ways.

Edhoo is from a royal family that claim to be descended from a great world-travelling hero who sired many children. Edhoo tries to live by the example of that ancient hero, travelling to other nations and interfering with their affairs in the name of “saving the world” all while trying to mate with whoever is willing. Edhoo is something of a jerk, to be honest.

Ipowwa is from a different royal family, which claims to be descended from the brother of Edhoo’s family. In stories told by Edhoo’s people, that brother was a traitor, but the stories told Ipowwa’s people say that the ancestor’s actions were justified to keep the kingdom safe. In Ipowwa’s time, the kingdom is recovering from a destructive war that wiped out over seventy percent of the population there. Ipowwa is gathering forces to rebuild the kingdom’s fortresses and protect from those who would try to raid the weakened state.

Evlow is one of the lowly non-royal citizens of Uksteron. Living a simple, “small” life in a village by a river. Evlow works hard keeping the land fertile and reaping the various plant-like foods that are grown there. In the nights, Evlow gathers around the fires with friends and family and tells stories and dances. It may not have the intrigue of the “royals”, but Evlow is not unhappy.

A Fact About Exkibos: Exkibos keep pets, including one species of flying creature, called Dsworfs, which they have trained to help them with various tasks, such as carrying things or hunting. Some Dswofs are simply kept as pampered pets with no assigned tasks, but that is mostly among the royals

Universe: Indigo

The 2010 movie Robin Hood is not something I’m willing to talk about at length, but it did have one thing going for it: in this movie, Friar Tuck is a beekeeper. As a way to add some meaning to his life (he describes himself as not being “churchy”), Tuck keeps bees and makes mead from their honey. He says of his bees, “I keep them and they keep me,” and describes them as his family. And naturally when there is a big climactic fight, he throws a couple of skeps into a building to have his bees attack the enemy. All perfectly good stuff for the things I want in a fictional Beekeeper.

Time to rate him.

There’s nothing in this one movie that merits him ranking above 3/5, but Tuck has something that your average 3/5 doesn’t: he is a figure of legend. There are hundreds of interpretations of Tuck, and we must consider the whole canon. In spite of his fatness and frequent drunkenness, he is often shown as a fighter the equal of Robin himself. I’ve seen him as an expert swordsman, I’ve seen him fight with a staff. And even when he is portrayed as a comical blunderer, he is still willing to fight for what is right. His monastic position would make him much more educated than most of his fellows of the era, and hatred of corruption in the Church seems like an excellent outlet for Beekeeper Rage. Throughout the legends there is definitely enough there to rank him a 4/5.

The important thing is that we, the loyal fans of the Beekeepers, try to make sure that the idea of Tuck as a Beekeeper remains part of the legend. He’s a public domain figure. We can do it. Please don’t let this movie be the only depiction of Beekeeper Tuck we ever have.

The Efmons are a massive family of magically-enhanced world conquerors who were exiled from their home dimension. Trying to establish a new base of operations, they conquered the planet Zezwek. Using this world as a beachhead into the new universe in which they find themselves, the family have begun magically travelling to other planets and, when they find intelligent life, conquering. Their resources are limited, though, so when possible they have been recruiting the conquered alien species to their cause. This is a special forces team they have created with the intent of going into enemy lines for missions.

Phillin Efmon

Phillin is a young Efmon, born after the family’s defeat in their home dimension. He was trained at a time when the family was pushing its hardest to return to power, and had to start young, and saw combat even before his ceremony that gave him his mystical powers, something which never would have been allowed on the homeworld. Phillin showed such skill as a warrior that it was decided he would be the perfect Efmon to keep the alien commando unit in line.

Exxo Palavo

Exxo Palavo has committed wholeheartedly to the worship of the Efmon’s god, Thalamaya. Having fought the Efmons when they first began their conquest of Zezwek, Exxo saw such miracles as could not be explained but by magic. Any force that could make such things happen was beyond the scope of Exxo’s imagination. During a battle Exxo surrendered and was put in a prison. There, introduced to the teachings of the Efmon, Exxo never doubted the new faith and was rewarded with a chance to serve Thalamaya’s mission.

Nevek Sang

Nevek Sang comes from the nearest inhabited planet to Zezwek, and the species could hardly be more different than the Zezwek People. Voracious carnivores that prefer to live solitary lives, Nevek’s people actually had knowledge of certain mystical practices before the Efmons arrival, which only allowed them to sense the power of the invasion force. It only made sense to ally with such a powerful army, and they opened up their world to the otherdimensional family. Nevek is a particularly bloodthirsty example of the species, often going out of the way to make an enemy’s death more painful than it need be.

Comtor

Comtor represents a species that is intelligent in the ways that we, as humans, consider important, but was not the dominant species on their world. Apart from some mild tool use, the species had not advanced technologically, and their small population was beset by the dangers of predatory species and inclement weather. The small predatory species would hunt game, running faster than cheetahs, but were often driven outperformed by flying animals. When the Efmon forces arrived on that world, Comtor was one of the first beings inquisitive enough to investigate, and that is how the Efmons discovered their intelligence. The species has now been introduced to advanced technology and suddenly finds itself living at the top of the food chain in what seems like a magical paradise.

Cot Rondar

Cot Rondar is the team’s tank. A large snail-like creature, Cot’s regenerative cellular structure makes it almost impervious to most damage, and its strength makes it ideal for carrying heavy weapons and supplies. Cot actually has no technical loyalty to the Efmons in general, but is from a species whose hierarchy is designated by shows of dominance. The Efmon’s invasion of Cot’s planet proved that they are the alphas in that galaxy.

I don’t get sick very often, this is true. I am very lucky in that respect. I did note that in the years I was going back to school, I was a lot more likely to get a cold or whatever, but even that just lasted a day or two. And I’m not in school right now. But these last three weeks are, as far as I can remember, the sickest I have ever been in my life. If that isn’t something I should document here on my website, I don’t know what is. So here are the gross details:

Phase One: February 26 to March 4

This was the point when I just felt like it was the usual kind of sickness that comes up every year or two. I had a cough, but I was just going to tough it out until it was over, as I usually do. Although I did note that I had a very sore back, which was making it hard to sleep, but for all I knew, I had pulled a muscle. I couldn’t even be sure the sore back was connected to the cough. There was, I admit, one night while, after making a delivery for work, I drove back to my apartment because I thought I might vomit. I didn’t vomit, though, so I figured it was probably okay. I mean, I had my flu shot. How bad could this be?

Saturday March 4

This was the night when the pain got to be too much even for my patented “ignore it until it goes away” technique. There was a sharp, stabbing pain with any inhalation deep enough to actually fill my lungs, and when I inhaled for a cough, it could cause me to fall over. I not only decided to take the night off of work, but actually went to the hospital for the first time that didn’t involve blood or broken bits in at least fifteen years. I am the sort who hates to burden a hospital with my presence (aka, who feels guilty when a hospital has to do its purpose for me), but I still went in, my pain was that bad. They took me in, did the x-rays, examined me with the various things they have. They gave me pills. In the end I don’t remember exactly what they said I had (there was some pneumonia in there and some other stuff), but the phrase “chest is full of viruses” was part of it. They recommended a kind of anti-inflammatory medicine for me to pick up. I was in and out in under five hours, which seemed good from my understanding of hospital wait times. I admit that getting to the pharmacy to pick up the pills wasn’t fun, but I did it and got home. (As a side-note that I am not about to give its own post, during the Phase One week I witnessed a car accident and while I was in the waiting room this night, a police officer came to take my statement. Made the time go more quickly. I recommend this when you plan hospital visits.)

End of Phase One: March 5

On Sunday the 5th, I just took it easy. I didn’t go into work, and I just lay in bed, in pain, unable to sleep. I was mildly confident that my pills would fix me up, if I could just get some sleep, which is how I usually deal with sickness. But sleep is not coming. I can not stay down for more than an hour at a time, and each session of sleep is full of strange dreams. In one of my dreams I was some sort of starfish-like blob that was part of a hivemind. In another I was a rhino-like animal that was being mutated with some kind of biological modifications and moving in a convoy with other similar animals to some strange goal. If I were told that I was dreaming the viruses’ dreams, I would believe it. It was all very strange and very tiring.

Monday March 6

At about four in the morning I awoke with extreme pain, the worst yet. I considered calling for an ambulance, it was so bad, but instead I made it to the bathroom, where I would be spending a lot of time in the coming days. At this point I began keeping notes on my phone of what was happening. I guess I wanted to be sure that if I died, my last hours would be described. I spend a lot of Monday in the bathroom.

Tuesday March 7

Tuesday is a similar day to Monday (in fact, with the lack of sleep it was essentially the same day) with lots of pain and lots of sitting on the bathroom floor. At one point I did sleep for an hour or so and have a dream in which I had a HUD display on my vision that gave me details about my health. I was disappointed to learn this was not true when I woke up. This is, for the record, the day I start spitting down the drain almost more often than I swallow my own saliva, in the hopes that I will be getting some of the infection out of me every time. Who knows if it helped any.

Wednesday March 8

Wednesday started off in the same way, but at about 9:40 in the morning, something good happened: I vomitted! A reading of my various illnesses catalogued on this site will reveal that I don’t generally consider it good to vomit, but I do consider the vomit here to have been a turning point toward getting better. And, as always, I have marked the date so I will be able to calculate how long my next vomitless streak is. Anyway, having puked, I feel a little better. My notes say that I am starting to find it more possible to lay comfortably in bed. Also this afternoon I go to the grocery store to get some supplies, though I note that the trip leaves me sweating and out of breath. I also noted that four times on Wednesday my body tried to sneeze, but at the sudden inhalation, my lungs felt the great pain and panicked and I was unable to sneeze. Four times.

Phase Three Begins: Thursday March 9 to Saturday March 11

By Thursday the pain in my back was basically gone. The pain in my lung was better, but still present. I could not breathe deeply, but I was definitely improved. I was essentially over the worst of it. But it was still bad. I still could not sleep for any amount of time. And my lungs were still problematic. You know when you suddenly become aware of your breathing and you have to consciously control it for a while until you can forget it and it goes back on the unconscious controls. By this point, I was realizing that I felt like I had been on conscious control of my lungs for a week. It was exhausting. Also during this phase I began trying to cleanse my lungs by initiating deep coughing fits in the hopes that it will bring up what is in my lungs. I do this until I am slumped on the floor, aching in muscles I didn’t even know were involved with coughing. At no point does this ever work, but it feels like the only thing to do, so I keep trying.

Sunday March 12

On Sunday, I got a call from the doctor I had seen a week earlier. They had reviewed my x-rays from my visit and decided to check up on me, and to give me a prescription for anti-biotics. I start taking these pills immediately thinking this time I am for sure going to get better.

The Rest of Phase Three

And so that’s how it was for the second week. I wasn’t in pain anymore, so in my mind I should be better and able to walk around and do things, but nope. I was still dizzy and short of breath. I still went into coughing fits that never seemed to clear my lungs. It wasn’t until Saturday the 18th that I was well enough that I could work (I missed eight shifts in total, and am therefore broker even than usual). Even now I am not at 100%. My prescription has run out, but I went to the pharmacist and was recommended some gross syrup medicine that will hopefully help me chase away the remains of the cough.

Anyway, as I am sure I have already said, this is the most sick I have ever been. I feel like other people probably deal with this sort of thing more often and I am a weakling for buckling under so thoroughly, but I couldn’t help it. This has also been my least productive month in years. Keeping in mind that all the posts that have gone up in this time were scheduled months ago, so this post is the first real writing I have done since February. Even reading was too much for me for most of the month. But I am back on track. Now let’s hope I never ever get sick again.