So, I’ve got this big cookie that was wrapped in saran-wrap style stuff when I got it, right? So I eat about half of it and try to wrap the remains up for tomorrow and the wrap doesn’t fit anymore. What the chunks is up with that? There’s less cookie for it to cover now than it did a few minutes ago and it can’t make it. Sometimes the world just doesn’t make sense. I’m assuming this has to do with aliens somehow.

Haiku!

Damage the balloon!
We have to cause it some harm
or it will harm us.

Marq ain’t got no Internet. Sometimes things are downright inconvenient. Still, from what I understand Marq’s updating of This Very Website is coming along well and it shouldn’t be long before we’ve got a new design and hopefully a new method of displaying the comics and stuff. Certainly my current method of big pages with all the images isn’t the nicest mode. While 2011 has certainly been my most productive year on my Book of PDR, I’m hoping 2012 could continue the trend.

Also, I ain’t got no money. It’s kind of annoying. It makes buying things more difficult, that’s for sure. I think, realistically, I’m going to have to move to a cheaper apartment in the new year. That sucks. I’ve been here for, like, seven or eight years. Sure, a two bedroom is more than I need, but I’m attached to it. Plus, moving is a pain in the neck. But that’s the price I guess I have to pay for not having money. Because not having money proves that I don’t deserve my apartment.

UPDATE: Like half an hour later. So anyway, as anyone who knows me well can attest, I have serious neuroses about food going bad. Because that thin layer of saran wrap couldn’t contain that cookie I felt like I had to eat it all now and now I’m all like “ooooogghhh, I feel gross and cookie-filled” and now I also don’t have any cookie for tomorrow. It’s not easy being PDR

So, I have seen articles in the newspapers that lead me to indicate that the Simpsons will be drawing to an end. This is an event which has been a long time coming, but will still be of note because back in my formative years that was The Show for PDR. For more than a decade that was the show that taught me how to realize stupidity in the world around me and laugh at it. I own the DVDs of those first ten seasons or so and I never tire of rewatching them. Sure, I stopped relating to the show eventually, but with a decade-long run of amusing me, I can’t complain. So now that it is wrapping up… wait, what’s that? Oh, the article says there could still be two or three years? What is with this show? Stop it already.

For the record the first article I saw on the topic had a headline telling viewers now to “have a cow” so I am going to choose to believe that they have had that headline ready for about twenty years and were just waiting for the opportunity to use it.

I have also seen articles on the Internet telling me that a new season of Arrested Development is going to happen. That right there, is awesome times news.

There’s some song that’s all like “All you little pigs doin’ kung fu flips better run, better run, up jump tha boogie” but those might not really be the words but I don’t care. Anyway, I heard it a couple times. It was in Fright Night and then I heard it on the radio. That’s the whole story. I just wanted my version of the lyrics on the Internet.

Haiku!

People need more time
or they’ll never get it done.
They can’t move that fast.

Speaking of songs I botch the lyrics to, I’m pretty sure that Return to Innocence by Enigma has become the song I sing most often in the shower, replacing Runaway by Del Shannon (though I technically sing the Me First and the Gimme Gimmes version tempo-wise). The difference is that I know the words to Runaway, but with my new song I just try to do the chanting. Now you all know more about my showering times. Your Welcome!

I was just browsing the Onion, as is my wont, and I got a message saying I’d used up my monthly allowance of five pages and that I had to subscribe to keep reading. Naturally, with this being the Onion, I assumed it was kidding, but no. Apparently non-American readers are now being expected to pay for seeing the Onion website.

Now, don’t get me wrong, as a loyal fan of the Onion for more than a decade I am willing to pay them for entertaining me. The makers of the Onion very much deserve to be paid well for entertaining us every week and I do doubt this is just some greedy whim of theirs, they probably need the additional income because they aren’t making enough off of advertising and stuff. I own six of their books (I own Our Dumb Century twice even) and have many times over the years paid for print editions of the paper, but those are things I can buy when I have the money around. I don’t plan on paying for a subscription to the website so, Onion, I’m afraid I won’t be seeing as much as you anymore. You will be missed.

I’ve mentioned in the past that I have to use the Comedy Network website to watch the Daily Show and the Colbert Report because, residing as I do in Canada, the sites that actually belong to the show are blocked here. Now, this annoys me in all kinds of ways: Whenever someone on the Internet links to a clip from one of those shows, they’re gonna link to the real sites, so I can pretty much never follow a link discussing the content. And even if I were bother to try to find the same clip on the Comedy Network site, their library is very much incomplete. There is no way at all for me to go back to the clips from way back in like 2000 or whenever when Colbert/Carell gave us amazing gold all the time. And also sometimes they seem to delay putting up the previous night’s shows for hours after the normal time

But I’m used to that. I’ve had to put up with that all the time. But what really bugs me is the way that the player on the Comedy Network doesn’t seem very good. It always takes a long time to load, but I’m willing to assume that that is in part the fault of my computer (though I rarely have that problem with things like YouTube…), and plus, for all I know the same problem would occur on the actual sites, so I can’t complain. But these last couple days the Comedy Network site has been even worse, often resetting every forty seconds making it pretty much impossible to watch the shows. And I know this time that it isn’t my laptop’s fault.

So, what I’m getting to here, is, if anyone ever scans the Internet looking for opinions on this, I want to be allowed to use the Daily Show and Colbert sites in Canada. C’mon, Comedy Network. If you’re going to make it illegal for me to watch the shows on their actual websites, can’t you at least try to not suck so bad?

In other news, I was awakened by the sound of jackhammering outside today. So that sucked.