According to something I wrote on Conains2 several years ago March 25 is International Robot Day. Since nobody has contradicted me since then, I take that as proof that it is true. Sort of like how since nobody official has contradicted that Patrick D Ryall is a nation, I know that that is true.

So that means that Patrick D Ryall will be celebrating International Robot Day in just a few weeks! Who else is excited? I bet you all are.

Haiku!

Behold the Trumpet!
It can bring forth sounds of joy!
But it won’t. It won’t.

I will try to write a story for International Robot Day, I think. We could all use more stories for International Robot Day…

A year or two ago I bought a box of tissues solely because it had superheroes on the box. At the time I didn’t need them, I just liked that it had superheroes so I bought it. Hopefully revealing that weakness won’t lead to manufacturers of products like corkscrews and ladles adding heroes in the hopes of getting my sales. But anyway, I mostly forgot about them until this holiday season when I got something of a cold. Now needing the tissues and keeping the box by my side for several days I got to thinking about them once more, and now I must bring that thinking to the Internet.

There they are. They are out on patrol perhaps, notice a big monster and proceed to stop its rampage. That’s superheroes for you. I’ve no doubt that these guys are inspired by the Invincibles. They’re definitely a family.

First thought, I would say they are Environmentally friendly heroes. The green costumes. The slimy monster who eats trees and windmills (!!). The fact the tissue paper they sell was made of recycled materials. It all adds up. Perhaps they’re not like the Planeteers who only fight enviro-crime, but they certainly lean that way.

Individually:

• The little girl can fly and create some manner of, what appears to soap, which she throws at the monster. Perhaps she can create other things to throw and was just choosing something appropriate to the situation? The fact she keeps the pollution monster as a pet shows that she’s an idealist. Even that evil beast, she feels, could be redeemed with a little love.
• The boy, probably a young teenager has elastic powers. The way he raises an eyebrow before grappling the creature’s leg tells me that he is something of a jokester. But he is no loner. You can tell he likes being part of this family. Probably because they are superheroes and that’s awesome.
• Mom can fly and shoot some sort of energy from her hands. Either it’s a cleansing beam in accordance with the posited environmental theme, and this is why the pollution monsters shrinks, or it is just a straight-up shrink beam. Either way, that’s our finishing move for this skirmish.
• Now, the father is interesting. I have no doubt that his frame holds superhuman strength and probably nigh invulnerability. But what impresses me most is that he stays out of the fight. A coward? No, I suspect he knows that punching that thing’s face off is just going to make a mess and his family is more than capable without him. These guys have clearly done this before.

So that’s them. We don’t know their names or anything else about them. I have to wonder, though, did the person hired by No Name brand to create these heroes and decorate a box of tissues with them put more thought into them than went into the story. Is this a case of fictional characters who have been thought out more than their medium gives them a chance to show? Could their creator have given them names and origins or were they but a moment’s work and then forgotten. Were they a labor of love or a mercenary way to spend a day drawing?
Either way, this post is a monument to these forgotten heroes. We salute you! You’re still better than Aquaman.

I AM PROBABLY THE FIRST PERSON TO TALK ABOUT THESE GUYS ON THE INTERNET. I WIN.

My cold is totally better now.

Usually Patrick D Ryall does not make New Year’s Resolutions. This year, he is going to go against that trend. This year: Patrick D Ryall is making a New Year’s Resolution! Alert the newsmedia! Do it quick!

Are you prepared?

You had better be, because here it is:

This year, Patrick D Ryall is not going to buy ANY nails! None! At all!!!

THIS YEAR, I WILL NOT BUY ANY NAILS!

You may be in shock. Probably you are. Just take a deep breath and sit down for a while. Remain calm.

So, another year is over and the Dark Lord Char’Nagh is handing out guns to those thoughtful enough to leave him sacrifices. Truly a festive time. And in the end, I would say that as years go, 2009 wasn’t all that bad to me. Sure, I didn’t travel as much as I would have liked, but I made it to Winnipeg and that’s a place I’d never been before. And sure I’m still in the same Worthless Job I’ve been in for so long, but at least I continue to abhor it and don’t simply accept the world as it is. So, I’ve got that…

Plus, this is the year I finished Adventure Dennis. Perhaps it isn’t something that should have taken five years to finish, sure, but at least it is done. I have way too many ideas in my head. I start something, then lose focus and lose interest and start something else. It means a lot to me when I actually finish a project and can finally put it behind me and have a little bit more room in my head for all the other things I must focus on. Let’s see if I can’t finish a few projects this coming year as well.

Yeah, this is also the year I was nearly done a book and lost it all when my computer died, but I’ll focus on Adventure Dennis for now.

I saw a commercial the other day for Cadbury Eggs that played off their usual Easter Bunny commercials by saying that there is Another Bunny who delivers eggs the rest of the year. I find this unfair. If you are going to make the Easter Bunny a part of your advertising campaign, you don’t get to just make some other bunny because you realize it only works on a seasonal basis.

I… have strong opinions about advertising?

Oh well, it seems a worthy complement to my recent post about the spam. Of which I am still getting lots. It is not cool. At least television commercials are a small part of my life what with watching most television online. Plus as grating as they can be at least they aren’t as bizarrely pointless as this spam I’ve been getting. That said, I got one the other day with the (I assume randomly generated) poster name “Plornt” and that name amuses me.

In other television commercial news, a while back I saw a commercial for crackers, right? You know crackers. The commercial had the song “Raise A Little Hell” by Trooper. Someone, some advertising dude, was all like “You know what song is appropriate for a commercial about putting crackers in soup? ‘Raise A Little Hell’ by Trooper.” and there was nobody around who said “Wait, really?”