The Former Official Nonsense Homepage!

¡Hijole! Apparently Yahoo is shutting down Geocities. I learned this from the Man on the Street section from the Onion. Since that is hardly an exact news source, I don’t have much information on the whens and wherefores, but still this news resonates with me. The first attempt of the Contains2 unit to create a website together was on geocities. It was the Adam West Batcave. When we finally found a proper hosting that pleased Marq we moved our base of absurdist comedy and minutia about our lives to www.contains2.com. For years the Batcave has just been that little placeholder with come images and avi files that was meant to redirect our hordes of fans to Contains2. But alas, now that shall die. Of course, once Contains2 didn’t please Marq any more and he let it die and won’t bring it back as no matter how much I want it and how empty its absence makes me into a pathetic wretch, so technically the Batcave outlived its progeny. Except for this site here which, though lax in content, copied the color scheme of the original as an homage.

Goodbye, good Adam West Batcave website. You’ll be missed. Sort of. Not really. But in principle or something.

Apart from that and a particularly good website for comic book annotations, I don’t imagine we’ll be losing too much that I could possibly care about. Those ads are effing annoying, so I’ll be happy to see them go.

“The people who eventually colonize the planet Uranus will be call Uranians or something. That takes the fun out of it. Oh well, at least they’ll be COLONists.”

This all reminds me, the woman who appears on the Evil Contains2 was on the cover of a magazine a month or so ago. I meant to talk about that then, when I could remember what magazine it was, but of course I’m a miserable failure so that never happened. It was the same image as still appears on Contains2 to this day, apparently. I guess it is some manner of stock image. I assume this means that evil backpack lady is conquering the world starting with web domains, moving on to magazines. Assuming she follows the logical pattern that in that order, we’ll be seeing her on cereal next. Not cereal boxes. She’ll be on the cereal itself. Her image will be made of sugar and Frosted onto Flakes soon. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Oh, and you can still help save the world.

Hello, folks! This is not the entity known as Patrick D Ryall, oh no. This is his roommate, Marq, stepping in to wreak some havoc while he is away. I can tell you right now that this is not going to end well. All bets can be placed at our betting booth.

I realize that I may have even less to say than our lovely travelling-nation-man, but I’m trying to remedy that. Of course, I’m doing stupid stuff with my website(s) at the moment, not something that allows me to write or anything. I haven’t done the weblog thing for a good couple of years now (as long as I’ve lived with Pat now; is that a coincidence or what?). Maybe someday his constant nattering about C2! will get me to do something with that, even. But bringing it up here will only give him more fodder to shoot at me when he gets home, so I will mention it no more.

I totally thought of something even more banal to bring up when I took over, something that happened or something I looked at when I was out at Shoppers earlier, something on the current level of Pat’s “blogging”, but now I can’t remember what it was. At all. That was pretty banal. It’s so staying.

It occurs to me that once upon a time when I did the weblog thing for real, years and years ago, and I went away for the weekend, I let Pat loose on it and he just wouldn’t shut up. Seriously. Now the tables have turned! Mwah! Hah! Hah!

Love and Peaches,
–me.

Just so that it will not be forgotten when we have conquered it, I am going to put an image of what somebody is doing with the Contains2.com address.

In a way, I guess I am honored that some obscure moneyseeking scoundrels considered the gibberish phrase “contains2” that nobody would ever type into a browser on a whim valuable enough to annex. After all that domain would have no worth at all if not for the efforts of myself and my fellow contains2men (but mostly myself, of course). But that said I’d still rather the domain have not been purchased by someone who isn’t us. Even if only one and three quarters of us actually still care.

And of course they worked in my old nemesis Debt Consolidation. I remember back when everyone else got emails about things I could use like free diplomas, weight loss, penis enlargement and women I was getting more than one email a day about consolidating debt. Oh the shame of it all. (I am proud to say that I actually barely get email spam anymore. Even on my hotmail account). It’s like this whole thing is part of a scheme by the currency lovers that I so strongly dislike to attack me personally.

The main problem with Contains2 being not there is that I’d really enjoy the chance to browse through the old stuff we wrote. Those were good times. Of course we’d not have that problem if Marq was willing to put it up on “containstwo.com” until such time as we win back the original. But someday Hawaii, hot girl and debt consolidation shall fall before our might.

Either way, the link shall remain at the bottom of this page until the outcome has shown itself.

Anyway, I’ll be back after China.

If you woke up tomorrow and you were a foot taller, would you think that you’d grown or that the world had shrunk? I consider this a better test of optimism and pessimism than that half a glass of water question. Or I would, if I knew which answer was optimistic and which was pessimistic.

In other news, Marq has a theory and if we’re lucky we could maybe get Contains2 back online around May-ish. That would be four kinds of alright with me. Everyone don’t hate Marq for a while as a means of thanks.

I’m totally eating dry Cheerios right now. But by the time anyone reads this, I probably won’t be.

Sometimes when I come here to write something, but then spend a time having to clean up the over a hundred spam comments and I just don’t feel like it any more. I honestly do love the Internet and feel that bringing the peoples of the world closer to each other and having so much information at our fingertips is awesome, but the spam just makes me want the whole thing shut off sometimes.

Honestly, I can’t see the appeal the robots that put up the spam have for my site. Ain’t nobody gonna see it. It’s not like Contains2 was, which people actually read. Ain’t nobody here to read this stuff. I don’t even know how the robots found the site.

Speaking of it, I really want Contains2 back online. I guess I’m gonna have to figure out how to make that happen…