In a world where scientists got too careless and accidentally created frankensteins that were more powerful than humanity, the frankensteins have taken over. What humans remain have to eke out a on the fringes of their destroyed cities, their numbers ever dwindling as they are used as parts by industrious frankensteins who want to create even more of their kind.

But apart from those poor handfuls of humans that dot the landscape, what else is out there?

Gumbo

Gumbo is a representative of the “everyman” of the frankensteins. Though he hates humans obviously, he doesn’t go out of his way to hunt them down or conquer the world or anything. He’s happy just living in Frankenstopolis and helping to create the society that will rise on the ashes of humanity.

Griffinstein

When the Gravedoctor tried to study the magic that exists in the world, he found a means to create a great champion of frankenkind. By killing a human who was cursed to be a were-lion and another who was a were-eagle, the Gravedoctor sewed their corpses together to create Griffinstein. The magnificent beast is now the Gravedoctor’s chief agent and protector.

Naturally, since the talons of the were-eagle were the feet of the cursed human, if the Griffinstein is turned to a human form, it’s got legs coming from its shoulders and arms hanging from its back. It’s less impressive that way.

Halfwitch

With the success of the Griffinstein, the Gravedoctor sought more study of magics. To that end, he took the bodies of some skilled witches who might have a natural talent he could exploit. But to keep the result controllable, the Gravedoctor combined the witches with some complete idiots. The result is half witch, half halfwit. The Halfwitch works with the Gravedoctor, but she does indeed resent her subservience and intends to betray him. Still, she is an idiot.

Considerabot

It might seem like one lesson to be learned from the Frankenstein Apocalypse is that science is dangerous. While that can be true, we have to remember that science has its upsides as well. One upside is Considerabot, the considerable robot. Created by a team of scientists to oppose the frankensteins, Considerabot wages a war against the reanimated-corpse usurpers of Earth and tries to protect humanity.

The Mummy Eater

A mystic who gained great power by devouring mummies, the Mummy Eater is not at all happy that the frankensteins have overthrown the world and ruined his plans. With mummies now considerably harder to come by, the Mummy Eater has to wage war on the frankensteins, not out of love of his fellow humans, but solely out of his own self-interest.

After the Frankensteingularity, humanity was almost done for. The worst case scenario was being cut into pieces and turned into new frankensteins, the best case is wandering the world eking out a measly existence through constant toil. Here’s some of the people who do that:

Elsa Holst

Elsa was near the epicenter of the frankenstein apocalypse, so she had to fight her way out of the city to stay alive. At first she tried to find help, but it was soon apparent that the frankensteins had put an end to the police, the army, and any other organized bodies. To survive, Elsa needed to fend for herself until she came across other survivors and decided there might be a chance to rebuild society after all.

Joe Turner

Before the world got apocalypsed, Joe was a junior high science teacher. He loved science and is kind of upset that the apocalypse was caused by mad science run amok. In a way, Joe’s new quest is to redeem science. He keeps methodical notes about what is happening and is hoping to find a scientific way to turn things around.

Koji Turner

Joe’s husband Koji is not a science teacher. Before the apocalypse, he was just some guy who worked an office job. In a lot of ways, Koji’s life has actually gotten better. Now unshackled from his job he gets to wander around with his loved ones. I mean, sure, he has to struggle to survive and avoid marauding frankensteins, but it beats toiling in a cubicle.

Shelley

As a child, the year since the Frankensteingularity makes up a very large portion of Shelley’s life. She’s adjusted to the new status quo pretty quickly. She now considers herself the group’s “big guns” and most “streetwise” member. She’s not, though. She’s a kid. But still, having not lost as much history, she’s got the most hope for making a future where humanity makes a comeback.

Okay, so Elsa, Joe, and Koji are named for the portrayers of the Bride of Frankenstein, Blacula, and the Kaiju Frankenstein respectively. Shelley is probably also named for someone involved in the history of Frankenstein stories.

It occurred to me too late that a group of people trying to survive in the world of the Frankenstein Apocalypse ought to be armed with torches and pitchforks. Oh well.

Well, once again the apocalypse has let me down. Now I’m gonna have to pay rent and all that stuff again. Thanks for nothing, End of the World.

Haiku!

Unknowable frog.
You have confounded us all.
How you jump so high?

In other news, I just bought a box of Crayola crayons. Is it my imagination or do they not smell the same as they did when I was younger. I suppose the possibility exists that it has been so long since I’ve bothered to smell crayons that they have changed and I was left unaware. It is also possible that my own body reacts differently to smells than it used to. It is sad that I can’t tell if crayons have changed or if my memory is imperfect or what. Stupid reality being essentially unknowable.

I have noted in the past that my blood seemed to taste better than it does now. The smell of crayons and the taste of my own blood. Is nothing from my childhood sacred?

I said I would keep mentioning my run-ins with the police on here and I meant it. It gives me something to write about when the only things I really do at any moment are work and be lazy.

So anyway, I was making that walk down the long highway outside of civilization that I have mentioned in the past and a cop car drove by me, slowly enough that I figure I was being watched. He then decided that he would drive off and leave me be. I wasn’t paying attention until the car was going, so I couldn’t tell if it was a policeperson I had dealt with before or not, but in any case a moment after he was gone a coworker drove up and offered me a lift. I accepted and as we continued down the road, we passed a cop car, probably the same one, parked at the side of the road. I am willing to assume he was waiting for me or something. But the thing is, I was in a car now. He will never see me walk by and will probably assume I wandered off into the woods to do some crimes. Oh well. I assume that all government agencies monitor my website anyway, so now the cops will know the truth.

Haiku!

The apocalypse.
A time for friends and fam’ly
to all end up dead.

So, a week or two I read that a Hollywood movie company had bought the rights to make a movie based on the old arcade game Asteroids. That was especially interesting to me because of the time I used to be in the #1 spot on the high scores for that game at an arcade we used to have around here, but I still thought that a movie of it would probably be ridiculous. I have since heard of other properties that companies have actually paid for the opportunity to make movies of, such as Monopoly or Battleship. Now, I just have to say: Hollywood, you are an idiot. I try not to think about how much money you waste producing bad movies year after year because you occasionally make things that I do enjoy, but the idea that studios are competing for properties like this and probably paying a lot of money reminds me that you are really an idiot. I mean, really, if you wanted to make a movie about a guy flying around destroying asteroids, you easily could have done it without the license. The same goes especially for Battleship. You could make hundreds of movies about Battleships dueling in the ocean before having to resort to getting those rights. And I can guarantee that there aren’t hardcore Battleship fans that are a guaranteed audience that you can only bring in with the name brand title. Really, the only possible way these movies could turn out well is if they turn out insanely stupid. That’s the best I can hope for with Asteroids and that is why Hollywood is an idiot.

I was totally planning to write a story about some guy having a really bad Leap Day, but then I overslept (something like TWELVE HOURS!) and I now have no reason to do that story anymore for Four Years. And by then we’ll be up to our armpits in apocalypses. Oh well, someday I’ll write something about someone who missed out on Leap Day and regrets it.