Holofernus Meiersdorf is a halfling beekeeper who lives in the fantasy land in which the Witcher franchise takes place. Previous reviews of Beekeepers in fantasy worlds have provided us glimpses of some very powerful beekeepers. Sadly, Ol’ Holofernus is not another one like that.

Holofernus, with his sons Bernie, Franklin, and Hugo, runs a honey farm called Honeyfill Meadworks. They seem to do a good job of it, so I’m not going to impugn their skills as apiarists. But what they don’t have is that extra something that makes truly special beekeepers. When they think their farm is under attack by a ghost, what do they do about it? They hire the Witcher to solve their problem for them.

These guys live in a world where magic and stuff is all real, but instead of using magic to become Ultimate Level Beekeepers, they’re just ordinary halfling guys who are actually worried about the threat that ghosts could pose. Power to them for being good at beekeeping, but it’s just a shame that they don’t apply themselves and unleash their full potential.

Two Honeycombs out of Five.

After the Frankensteingularity, humanity was almost done for. The worst case scenario was being cut into pieces and turned into new frankensteins, the best case is wandering the world eking out a measly existence through constant toil. Here’s some of the people who do that:

Elsa Holst

Elsa was near the epicenter of the frankenstein apocalypse, so she had to fight her way out of the city to stay alive. At first she tried to find help, but it was soon apparent that the frankensteins had put an end to the police, the army, and any other organized bodies. To survive, Elsa needed to fend for herself until she came across other survivors and decided there might be a chance to rebuild society after all.

Joe Turner

Before the world got apocalypsed, Joe was a junior high science teacher. He loved science and is kind of upset that the apocalypse was caused by mad science run amok. In a way, Joe’s new quest is to redeem science. He keeps methodical notes about what is happening and is hoping to find a scientific way to turn things around.

Koji Turner

Joe’s husband Koji is not a science teacher. Before the apocalypse, he was just some guy who worked an office job. In a lot of ways, Koji’s life has actually gotten better. Now unshackled from his job he gets to wander around with his loved ones. I mean, sure, he has to struggle to survive and avoid marauding frankensteins, but it beats toiling in a cubicle.

Shelley

As a child, the year since the Frankensteingularity makes up a very large portion of Shelley’s life. She’s adjusted to the new status quo pretty quickly. She now considers herself the group’s “big guns” and most “streetwise” member. She’s not, though. She’s a kid. But still, having not lost as much history, she’s got the most hope for making a future where humanity makes a comeback.

Okay, so Elsa, Joe, and Koji are named for the portrayers of the Bride of Frankenstein, Blacula, and the Kaiju Frankenstein respectively. Shelley is probably also named for someone involved in the history of Frankenstein stories.

It occurred to me too late that a group of people trying to survive in the world of the Frankenstein Apocalypse ought to be armed with torches and pitchforks. Oh well.