Beekeeper Review: Dr. Lorenz

“You see, my friends, through the centuries, man has sought to master the bee. And although she has shared with him most generously her produce, the bee went about her daily toils obeying not the commands of man, but the laws of her own civilization and culture.”

In 1955, an episode Science Fiction Theatre titled “The Strange Doctor Lorenz” introduce a strange doctor, named Lorenz. Dr. Lorenz is a beekeeper.

Dr. Lorenz (portrayed by Edmund Gwenn) is an elderly chemist who, with an assistant named George, lives in a house in a swamp near some small town called Dexter. There, in addition to farming honey, he conducts experiments with the help of his bees. The primary invention that benefits Lorenz’s work is a method for communicating with bees via “controlled use of artificial ultra-violet rays” that has allowed him to completely understand the bees’ language. Lorenz has shown nothing but respect for the bees, and they in turn like him and are happy to help him out.

Beyond that his experiments have been more along lines that one would actually expect from a chemist. He is working on a curative form of royal jelly which can heal even the most serious of wounds. While Lorenz is not a medical doctor, the townsfolk around the swamp apparently are confused by his “doctor” title and often summon him for aid in times of medical emergency. Lorenz is happy to help, but will only use his special jelly in cases of life or death. But why doesn’t he use it to heal everyone? Why doesn’t he go public with his discoveries? Well, the tragedy here is that the jelly is still not perfected. Its healing effects are only temporary, and continued use of the jelly makes the subject deadly allergic to bees, a single sting being enough to instantly kill them. Until this can be improved upon, Lorenz will only treat those who would be otherwise doomed, and whom he can keep a watch on. (Lorenz himself would seem to be at risk, but the bees would never have any reason to sting him.)

What else? Lorenz is not a fighter, but when a man breaks into his home and tries to steal from him, he does release the bees, which is an accepted beekeeper combat technique of course. Furthermore, he is a quirky fellow and, for some reason, he goes to bed at 8:30 on the dot every night, even if he has to leave a conversation unfinished to do it. We’re never given a reason for that, so I could easily claim this routine is his way of keeping his Beekeeper Rage from flaring up. It is, if nothing else, impressive how he can apparently tell the time without the need for a clock.

3 Honeycombs out of Five.

Eventually, knowing that he is getting too old to see his research to the end, so he leaves his work to a doctor named Fred Garner. Let’s hope that Fred is able to perfect the curative jelly one day.

Super Sunday: Office Worker Ants

The Situation

In a city of ants that have been anthropomorphized, the business of maintaining the colony is more complex than ever. This sitcom would focus on an office in Ultimate Ant City and the ants who work there. I’d treat it as if the ants have not been humanoid very long and that this generation is the first to have to deal with emulating humanity and would thus be comically bad at it.

The Characters

Skorty

Skorty is our main character, she’s fresh out of Ant University where she graduated at the top of her class and she’s just been hired as a project manager for the office. She’s ambitious and driven, but naive.

Sorly

Sorly is Skorty’s office rival. She’s been working there much longer, and she feels that that project manager job should have been hers. Still bitter about it, she tries to manipulate Skorty into making a fool of herself at every possible turn.

Dave the Ant

Dave the Ant is a big deal. He was among the Ultimate Ants that got to go visit the human scientists when the Ultimate Ants first made contact with the human world. Because of this he thinks very highly of himself and, now that he is the boss at the office, he thinks everyone should respect him above all else. They don’t.

Dwidgit

Dwidgit is Skorty’s love interest. Considering that before the current generation things like mating were not part of life for worker ants, it is still new to these ones and everything they know about it they get from exposure to human popular culture. Dwidgit is a nice guy, but is extremely nervous about messing things up, so any show of emotion from Skorty makes him stammer and panic.

Keembo

Keembo is the office janitor and he’s quite a character. Always coming up with get rich schemes and convoluted plans that go awry. And he’s a bad influence on the others, always talking them into blowing every misunderstanding out of proportion. But he can get away with it, because he is also extremely good at his job.

Notes

If this show existed, it’d be some computer animated affair along the lines of A Bugs Life or Antz, but especially like Bee Movie considering the way the Ultimate Ant City is like a human city. Probably not renewed for a second season.

Super Sunday: Still Eksplodin’

The Situation

A washed up musician has to try to adjust to his waning fame and the pervasive thought that he may have lived a life full of regrets, while still milking his fame for whatever money he can get.

The Characters

Michael Vernon

Michael Vernon is the lead singer of the band Eksplode and they were pretty famous for a while a few decades ago. Now he’s old, has lost his once luscious, and his fame wanes. With the failure of the band’s most recent album he has come to realize that he has no other skills and barely has the skills he needs to maintain his current occupation. He’s a little bit worried about his future.

Dex Rico

Dex Rico is the real reason for Eksplode’s successes. He is the band’s bass player, but he also provides vocals on a lot of tracks, and has written all of their most popular singles (with the exception of “Pet My Rock Snake” which was all Mike). In a lot of ways, Mike is jealous of Dex, but can’t hate him because Dex is the only person who is unwaveringly nice to him.

Callie Vitale

Callie is Mike’s love-child, who turned up recently because she was curious about her father. Once she met Mike, she was satisfied and tried to go back to her own life, but now Mike makes too much effort to hang around with Callie, as she could be the only good thing he’s ever done.

Mona Puncher

Mona is the band’s manager, and she means business. She wants the band to succeed, but she isn’t delusional about their situation. She has been trying to get Dex to put together some solo albums, but still has to coddle Mike to prevent him from having a breakdown or whatever. It’s annoying, but she cares just enough about Mike to go through with the effort.

Lefty Thompkins

Lefty is Eksplode’s biggest fan, and the head of their road crew. He’d do anything to please the band, and Mike takes full advantage of that.

Notes

I picture that this would be one of those shows that follows the characters as if it were a documentary, because there would be a documentary being filmed about the band as a way Mike hopes to make some additional money.