I have long been prepared for myself to travel back from the future to visit present-me and offer me advice or even supertechnology. I even had a code-phrase in place that I would be able to tell myself to prove that I was really future me! But I still haven’t had a visit from Future-Me. I was wondering why this was…

Somebody recently helped me realize what’s going on. It’s like this: At some point between now and the Future, my code phrase must become compromised. The bad guys (be they humans, robots, aliens, or commies) have somehow learned my secret code and Future-Me had to pick a new secret code and I don’t know it yet. So that means that Future-Me can’t visit me because I’m out of the loop. Curse my many enemies. Curse them all for ruining my time-travel fun times.

Haiku!

From the far future
come a man and a robot.
They are my new friends.

Speaking of time-travel, I do believe that the new season of Doctor Who has just started, so I am going to watch that in the considerably not-distant future.

Thanks to the joys of no backgrounds and expository dialogue I want to get through quickly, I have brung you five pages of SecGov “action” today!

And hey, here’s something stupid I did while watching stuff:

You see? They ate the aliens they made contact with!

And also the Phone Guys happened:

10) It would benefit the economy. Creating jobs is a popular sentiment. And PDR’s Butler is a job.
9) Since I do not feel I am myself better than servants, we would have a strong bond of equality between us. This means the butler would enjoy serving me as much as I enjoy being served.
8) It would be educational. I would learn more about butlers. And that would benefit everyone, probably.
7) It would expand my horizons. The butler could introduce me to new kinds of cookies that he knows that I’ve never tried.
6) If I had a butler, people would think I am better off than I actually am and that would lead them to treat me as if I were a rich dude. That would make it much easier for me to become rich.
5) He would be able to give me more reasons to have a butler. Butlers know all about reasons to have butlers.
4) Butlers have connections. A butler could hook me up with a chauffeur and a chef and a maid and so on.
3) I could talk to him about Brontosaurs. Butlers love that!
2) It would prevent terrorists from saying I don’t have a butler. We’re supposed to be opposing the terrorists right?
1) I’m incompetent at most tasks. If I had a butler to do these tasks, he would do those tasks better than I do and therefore the world would be a better place.

So, if any governments want to pitch in and pay for someone to be my butler, let me know.

In other news, I found the note I left for myself that March 25th is International Robot Day according to me. I totally forgot to celebrate it this year. This will not happen again.

I read something in the paper the other day about a laser cannon that can be mounted on boats and set enemy boats’ engines on fire. This is to be used as a deterrent for pirates. We are using lasers to fight pirates. We are a step closer to being in a 21st Century of which I can approve.

Haiku!

Darn that Cosmonaut!
He stole my pepper shaker!
I was using that!

I do not have much else worth mentioning today. I’ll just leave you with a thought:If we’re so worried about the polar ice caps melting, why don’t we just surround the arctic with a bunch of refrigerators, open them all up and cool the whole place down! Problem saved!

I got your Three Pages of Secret Government Robots right here, sucker!

Ghosts and Robots: Both are easier to draw than actual people.

And somehow a Phone Guys strip got here too:

Somehow Pete has never cared about being correct, technically or not, until it had a chance to reflect poorly on him. What an idiot.