I got exactly one nosebleed on the bus today. That’s exactly one more than usual.

In other news, I’m supposed to shave for work tomorrow. Seems that we’ve got these masks I’m supposed to wear when I’m blowing dust around or using chemicals or whatever and that tomorrow the masks are being fitted to my face and because of that, I’m supposed to be cleanshaven. And it has been suggested that I remain cleanshaven as often as possible so that the mask will fit any time I need to use it. Now a better idea to me would be to have it fitted to my face with stubble, since that’s business as usual. In any case, the safety woman also used to ask me to take off my watch around the machines. She stopped eventually.

I still have no idea how I got put onto the safety committee.

I read that China has begun raising the prices on the chopsticks it exports to Japan, because Japan uses so many of them that it is using up China’s forests. Now, usually, I’m against deforestation, but the article said that the alternative plastic chopsticks can only be used about 150 times more than the wooden ones before they are disposed of. That means they’re still considered disposable. It seems to me that wood biodegrades easier than plastic, so the garbage would be worse for the environment. The fact that there only one chopstick thrown out for every hundred and fifty there used to be is meaningless. We’ll have plenty of room for landfills where those forests used to be! It’s like I always say, the worst option is only the worst option when you’re not in denial! Hooray! Environment saved and all it cost us was a bunch of useless trees.

I also read once that scientists found a way to make plastic from corn. Are they still doing that because that actually does sound like a good thing.

I have this Halloween bucket with a cartoon Frankenstein’s monster on it that I keep on this desk here for loose change. I bought some of those little rolls for putting change in today and counted it mostly all up. I had about $150 sitting right there. Now most of that is going to go into my get a non-sucky computer fund. The little bit that isn’t? That’s going to be

Speaking of change, I was walking down Spring Garden Road today, so of course I got a guy bumming money from me. I gave change out of my pocket to him and continued walking. Then someone else asked for some, and I told him I gave it to that last guy. That happened three more times after that and each time I told them I gave it to the first guy. By far the best response was the bum who muttered, “Oh, I see how it is,” afterward. That amuses me.

Did everyone’s mousepad disappear over night, or was it just me? ’Cause if it was a worldwide thing, I’m willing to let it slide. And apart from that my computer is now rebelling against me by switching all my bookmarks into alphabetical order, instead of the order I had them in for years so I knew where everything was. Technology is the Great Satan.

In other news, I’ve been drafted. It turns out that President Truman invented time-travel and has been getting new troops from different eras. It turns out that he can even draft non-Americans. Well, I’m glad I already know how that war ends, so I won’t have too much to worry about.

Eventually, we’re going to have to breed rabbits for food. I have mapped out seventeen possible futures for our species and they all involve doing so. It’s clearly unavoidable. Now that we know this for certain, I propose we tear down an entire city and convert it into a giant rabbit processing plant. I propose we do this to Medicine Hat because it has the prime locale for such an endeavor.

The previous paragraph was just nonsense used to disguise the fact that I wanted to mention Medicine Hat.

Haiku!

British people speak!
The whole world listens to them.
They say, “Bollocks, mate!”

So, I’m off to work again. I’ve been trying to cram some “enjoyment of life” into my respites lately, but unfortunately that leaves me with no work done here. Let’s see if I can’t fix that tomorrow.