PDR XXX

So, today is my thirtieth birthday. How about that?

PDR XXX

Generally I, Patrick D Ryall, do not bother celebrating my birthday, (and today is no exception apart from this post, really) because age is just a count of how many times the Earth has gone around the Sun since I got born and that isn’t terribly relevant to me. Sure, years are a useful unit of time measurement, but they really don’t mean anything about me as a person. And yet, even with that in mind, there are some things that can be inferred by my turning thirty: The primary being that I’m no longer in my Twenties. I’m now a Real Adult, instead of a New Adult. Or something. I’m in a different category than I was just days ago, is what I’m saying. I don’t know what the categories are called.

Sure, I’ll grant you that today’s society has pushed back Real Adulthood much further than thirty. People probably say things like “Fifty is the new Thirty” so I’m supposed to rejoice that I’m not old. All the thirty-year-olds in movies are likely to be overgrown young people and many in real life seem take their cue from that. People crave their youth, for whatever reason, so they’re constantly pushing the societal definition of youth higher and higher. But not ol’ PDR. I don’t care about aging, really. Some people fret about it and can’t believe that they’re getting old. And you’d think that someone who has been as concerned with his mortality since such a young age as I was would worry, but I don’t. Getting older has more than enough benefits to make PDR okay with it.

For one thing, I have never fit in with my age group. Not when I was a kid, nor a teenager, nor any other time. I never knew the popular trends of the day. I am always late learning about what shows are popular, I never know anything about music, and I have worn the same style of clothes (t-shirts, jeans) no matter what fashion does around me. Now, obviously, my age group is still my age group. They’ve all grown up with me. So my not fitting in with them will continue. But we’ve all continued aging away from the Young People of Today and they’re the real popular culture now. That’s what is so sweet. Someone in their Twenties? They’re generally still expected to be somewhat hip. But I’m in my Thirties, now, so I’m free from that! As I said above, Thirties are still considered pretty young these days, but the difference between me and some teenagers is now so insurmountable that my never speaking to one who isn’t a cashier is perfectly fine. When I hit my Forties, I’m pretty sure, is when I’m actually allowed to be wholly alienated by youths, so I’m ahead of the game there, but I’ll take what I can get. I’ve been an old man in my head since I was around fourteen, so this is just my life is finally catching up.

I’m also lucky that there won’t be any “Holy Crap, I’m Thirty Now” shock for me. I’ve thought of myself as a thirty-year-old since I was twenty-eight. Why? Bad memory, I guess. But in any case, I’ve been calling myself thirty for years in my head (and occasionally out loud when people ask me my age and I don’t want to do math or remember what year it is) so I’ve already moved on to being, like, thirty-three mentally. If, at any point, I genuinely am caught off guard when my age occurs to me, it’s because I’m actually younger than I am.

Naturally, round-numbered ages are a good time to take stock of your life and see how you’re doing. And it’s times like this I notice that I am nowhere near getting married, having kids, buying a house, and winning a position of great social status and material wealth. But I wasn’t aiming for that stuff anyway. There’s some stuff in that list that I’d be down with, but for the most part these goals are just things we’re peer pressured into thinking are important. I’ve not deigned to base my life around achieving any of them. The unfortunate flip-side of this, however, is that I’m also not achieving much in the way of PDR-mandated goals. I’ve not done nearly so much travelling as I’d like, my writing output is improving but is still less than ideal, and I’ve not overthrown the currency-worshipping culture we live in. Perhaps the most alarming thing I do get out of turning thirty is when I remember that I started working my current job when I was twenty-one. I’ve wanted to quit for at least eight years, but I haven’t because I can’t think of another way to not be homeless.

But in the end, I can take that sense of failure as I turn thirty, because I had that same sense of failure when I was twenty-nine and before that. But now I can more liberally use phrases like “When you get to be my age…,” “Back when I was young…,” and “Kids these days…” I mean, sure, I used all of those already, but now it is slightly more justified. And in the end, that’s what aging is about: It’s a license to be as cantankerous and ornery as you want.

PDR’s Controversial Beliefs: Mankind is not destroying nature.

A week or two back I had someone put forth the idea to me that the world would be better off without people in it. This is something, I just can’t agree with. Here’s the way it seems to me:

When we say we want a healthy environment it isn’t really the health of the environment that we’re concerned with. It’s how well suited the environment is for keeping us alive that we’re actually concerned with. If we weren’t here the environment would not be Better Off. Nature doesn’t care about what we’re doing. Nature invented rat’s asses just so it could not give them about us. Pretty much nothing we do can harm nature. We can only harm us.

People might argue “But humanity is causing pollution which upsets the balance of nature” and I say “nope”. Nature is never actually balanced, it is just forever in the act of balancing. The makeup of the atmosphere is certainly different because of what we’ve pumped into it, but nature will, over time, get used to that. Species will adapt to the new atmosphere and thrive. Ages ago the atmosphere had much more oxygen because God wanted giant bugs around, but now we’ve got less oxygen. Nature goes on in spite of these changes and what we’re really worried about is how well nature can support us.

People may argue “But humanity’s influence has caused a ton of species to go extinct and that upsets the ecosystem” and I say again “nope”. When you think about it, far more species have gone extinct from your ice ages and your asteroid strikes and your freakin’ whatever caused the Permian-Triassic extinction event. When it comes to wiping out animal life, humanity just Can Not Compete with Mama Nature.

People may argue “But when nature causes something to happen, it’s natural, when we do it its unnatural” and I say once more times “nope”. Even though in the paragraphs proceeding this one I drew a line of distinction between humanity and nature, we really are as much a part of this planet as any other life form. Let us say that, in prehistoric times, some predator species crossed a land bridge somewhere and got into an ecosystem and wiped the floor with the competition and changed the whole scene, would you say that nature would be better off without that species or would it be cool because they’re animals and, unlike us, they don’t know any better? Well this sort of thing has happened nonstop over millions of years and nature still got us here. And if you’re saying that we’re supposed to know better, I say “why”? If nature seems to be fine with a constant change of ecosystems, why would it be Better if we defy that? Isn’t going against nature the exact thing you’re accusing us of?

My point here is that saying the environment would be Better Off without humanity is like saying a hospital would be easier to keep clean if you didn’t let patients in. You’d end up with a cleaner hospital, sure, but what would be the point of that? We should certainly be working hard to maintain an environment that keeps us alive. But not for the sake of the environment, but for the sake of humanity.

DVDs… But why?

Over this last week I have purchased seven DVDs from Blockbuster locations that are dying here in Halifax. Now, I love my DVD collection and its extensiveness, (as shown in this here not even up-to-date list) so I am quite pleased to be adding to it for the first time in quite a while.

That said, with every DVD I add to the collection I also add to my annoyance, because I know I shouldn’t have a DVD collection at all. At the place where human technological development is, there is simply no need for it. Ideally all the movies (and music and so on) would be kept in a vast repository online where we could all see the movies we want, when we want. These physical copies of the movies that I so enjoy are entirely pointless. And yet I still like them. It’s rough being a greatly self-contradictory fellow.

Of course, when DVDs are finally an obsolete technology, this collection is going to seem like a lot of wasted time and effort.

(For the record, I’ve just realized that one of my new seven DVDs is Fullscreen. I didn’t even know they still had those.)

Canadian Medicine Can Be Free.

Half of this Canadian Propaganda Commercial is about a child freezing to death! Canada!

This one depicts a town that has too many sick people and not enough space to save them, right? So they all work together to make a hospital that provides its services for free. That’s nice. Although this Heritage Minute has none of the extreme quotability that I love for things for, it is about one of my favorite things about Canada, the free healthcare. That’s important in a country where kids freeze to death on a regular basis.

I also like the two guys who point out that since they’re the best builders in town, they can build a hospital. Of this, I approve. These aren’t two guys saying “we can build this hospital cheaper than anyone else in town,” because that would be insane. Who would want to live in a society where hospitals, or anything for that matter, was built by the people who can do it the cheapest? But anyway, I think I’m going to try to turn “We built the best barn, so we’ll build the hospital!” into something I can work into discussions. Hey, if I can fit “Oh Sire, until the end of time” into everyday conversation on a regular basis, I can do this.

But because that quote is not yet at the forefront of our culture, I can only give this one Three out of Six Pieces of PDR’s Reviewing System Cake. It’s a rare case where I actually like the thing the Heritage Minute is about more than I like the Heritage Minute itself.

PDR Comments on Recent Events

I feel like I should be commenting on recent events in the world. There was this big wedding in England that everyone cared about and then forgot once Osama bin Laden got killed and also some kind of election in that country that borders the Nation of Patrick D Ryall on all sides.

On the former, I have to say that PDR is just not a big fan of weddings. I like the idea of marriages, but the whole big wedding to start them generally just annoys me. Now, I’ve had a good time at some wedding receptions, certainly, but the ritual, the ceremony, is usually boring to me. So seeing this blown up to royal levels in England, and then covered with fervor by the local newses (I only get one news channel, people. I need variety or I miss out on everything) made it even worse.

The night before the wedding we put a flyer into the newspaper at which I work that advertised plates with an image of Prince Whichever and his ladyfriend who were getting married. If even one person saw that flyer and thought “Oh, that looks nice, I should get that,” then I apologize for not sabotaging it before it could get to you. That plate was a waste of your money.

Similarly dominating the news, and more likely to have actual effects on the world I think, is the death of the most wanted terrorist. Perhaps my favorite aspect of this whole thing was a small blurb that was in last night’s paper that, if I may paraphrase from memory, went something like “some construction worker who had flown to Afghanistan to find bin Laden himself claims that his presence scared the terrorist leader out of the mountains to the city where he was found. The construction worker now wants millions of dollars for his services.” Possibly there is more legitimacy to the guy’s claim than the small article went into, but I would like to make it clear that my presence in this apartment totally kept Osama from being here. I’d be happy to settle for just a single million.

Haiku!

Rocketship captain.
Please don’t forget your loved ones
as you soar through space.

As for the Canadian election: Pretty much nobody I know was happy with the result so… sucks for pretty much everybody I know. But rest assured, the leadership of the Nation of PDR remains dedicated to maintaining peaceful relations with Canada while simultaneously trying to bring down the current form of society as a whole.

That’s it. Go away.