A Canadian Boat Went Fast This One Time

Today’s Canada Heritage Thing is about the Bluenose, a boat that was as fast as the speed at which this Heritage Minutes leaves my brain. I am sure that I’ve seen it a lot of times, but apart from the music, I would have believed you if you told me it was one of those new ones that I didn’t grow up with. And even the music I probably know from somewhere else. Maybe if the phrase “Angus should never have agreed to this last race, she’s too old” could be used more often in everyday life I’d have remembered it.

And maybe this is sacrilege for a Nova Scotian to say, but I don’t actually care that there was a fast boat? Is that just me?

Two out of Six Pieces of PDR’s Reviewing System Cake.

Canadian Is Poet, Doesn’t Know It

Today’s Heritage Monument is about the creation of the poem In Flander’s Field. A WWI doctor, John McCrae, is bummed about that whole war thing and people dying and such, so he writes a poem. He then hands it to some guy and claims he doesn’t know what it is. It’s weird. The poem’s Wikipedia page does say that “[a]ccording to legend, fellow soldiers retrieved the poem after McCrae, initially dissatisfied with his work, discarded it” but in this commercial McCrae doesn’t discard it, he hands it to this one guy. If he was discarding it, he’d surely rip it out of the book or something. Is this guy McCrae’s personal whole book discarder? Did they have those yet, or were they invented in WWII?

There is something to be said for the idea that McCrae was overcome by some muse, created his poem, and barely realized what he’d done. I dunno. That’s the best I can manage in explaining this. I have nothing else to add.

This one gets only Two and a Half Pieces of PDR’s Reviewing System Cake. The only quotable thing about it is the thing it is quoting.

Terry Fox: Unstoppable Canadian Cyborg?

This particular Heritage Piece is not from my childhood. It was not drilled into my brain and I can’t quote from it. Those, I admit, are the things that I like about these things. Still, I obviously knew who Terry Fox was. Looking back, I’m somewhat surprised their wasn’t an ad about him back in those days. Why did it take so long, I wonder? Ah well, he has one now. It’s a straightforward piece, narrated by Terry at first, then closing with a narrator filling in the blanks. I don’t even really have much to say about it. (Note: This is not a sign that I am against cancer research. Those rumours are unfounded as I have said at my many press conferences on the subject.)

True PDR Fact: Walking across Canada is something I’d actually enjoy doing. Not even for a cause, necessarily. I just think that, if the weather was nice and I wasn’t broke and I had the time, I’d be okay with doing that. It’s a dream that will never come to fruition. Terry Fox, on the other hand, did his thing under much worse circumstances and for much better reasons. I don’t think this Heritage Commercial, had it been around in my youth, would have been easily memorized, but I do think it’s a perfectly good way of memorializing Fox and that’s what it is actually supposed to do, so I’m going to give it Three out of Six Pieces of PDR’s Reviewing System Cake. It does its job.

I fully admit that my claim that Terry Fox is a “cyborg” will likely be argued by some. Fair enough, but it’s a claim I first made when Canada put him on money and I wanted to say Canada was the first country to have a cyborg on its money. You can take that away from us, sure, but it would make us feel bad. Meanwhile, if you want to argue that Terry Fox was famously not “unstoppable” okay, but in that case it should make you feel bad.

Canada Can (Try To) Keep Peace

This one is simple enough. To remind viewers that Canada was involved in the creation of the United Nations Peacekeeping Force, they show the force saving some hostages in the Congo.

This piece has something I always want to see in action movies, but very rarely do. The heroes take the bad guy alive. It feels like Hollywood can’t fathom an outcome that doesn’t involve death, but I think it is a good idea to tie the UN Peacekeepers’ reputation to a mindset where maybe killing isn’t always the answer. Also, Dextraze comes across as pretty cool. The fact he isn’t using a gun draws a comparison to Sam Steele, but of course Dextraze has two guys with big guns standing next to him, so the comparison isn’t perfect. It’s still cool, though.

Anyway, this commercial is fine. Maybe if it had been on when I was young some of the hostage-taker’s lines would be burned into my head, but as it stands, I have no sentimental attachment. I can give it Three out of Six Pieces of PDR’s Reviewing System Cake.

Frontenac Beat Them Off. heehee

It has been a long while since I have reviewed a Canadian Heritage Minute, but since this is the sesquicentennial year of Canada, seems like maybe I ought to do a few this year. Let’s get on it.

I have little faith that this one comes from an actual historical event. They wanted to make a piece about Frontenac’s refusal to surrender, sure, I can get that. I may not be big into tying a country’s military victories so close to its worth, but I can see the appeal. That makes sense for this thing. But to fill out the minute, we are given this nameless guy who steps out of the crowd to show off. I mean, look at his twirl accompanying the “Ah Oui, Lieftenant!” This guy is the class clown of 1690 Quebec. He just wants eyes on him instead of this silly war thing. He comes up with such winning jokes as getting names and ranks wrong, then calling someone an idiot. Grade-A material there, guy. And then he does the fakey, Errol Flynn-style sword fight. Again, all for show. This guy and his little comedy stylings probably did not actually exist in the real history of these events. And that’s a damn shame. Also of note, I love the anger in the American’s “General Phipps!!!!” line.

And then Frontenac gets to be in the last couple seconds of his Heritage Minute.

I like this one! Five out of Six Pieces of PDR’s Reviewing System Cake.