Hey! I’m in New York, but I’ve used technology to update my website for me so I don’t miss the comics update. It’s Halloween, but these comics have nothing to do with that.

SecGov Robots:

So that ends this little epilogue with the beekeepers. I intend to get back to that little plotline in the future, but we’ve an unrelated story starting next week.

Phone Guys:

So thus begins the second batch of Phone Guys comics. Personally I think that this batch has about five percent fewer nonsensical pointless strips than last year’s did. If we keep up that trend we could one day get it down to only eighty-five percent pointlessness!

So the newspaper that has just gone out includes this article about some satellite that is coming acrashin’ to Earth soon, and there is a chance it will hit Canada (they say probably an ocean, but maybe Canada). If that thing hits me I demand some sort of holiday in my honor. A holiday that involves people throwing soft plastic toy satellites at one another.

That’s all. I just like my wishes to be known ahead of time.

For the record, cleaning up space junk in orbit has been on my list of things to do if I ever get Superman powers for years. So keep that in mind whoever hands out Superman powers.

10) It would benefit the economy. Creating jobs is a popular sentiment. And PDR’s Butler is a job.
9) Since I do not feel I am myself better than servants, we would have a strong bond of equality between us. This means the butler would enjoy serving me as much as I enjoy being served.
8) It would be educational. I would learn more about butlers. And that would benefit everyone, probably.
7) It would expand my horizons. The butler could introduce me to new kinds of cookies that he knows that I’ve never tried.
6) If I had a butler, people would think I am better off than I actually am and that would lead them to treat me as if I were a rich dude. That would make it much easier for me to become rich.
5) He would be able to give me more reasons to have a butler. Butlers know all about reasons to have butlers.
4) Butlers have connections. A butler could hook me up with a chauffeur and a chef and a maid and so on.
3) I could talk to him about Brontosaurs. Butlers love that!
2) It would prevent terrorists from saying I don’t have a butler. We’re supposed to be opposing the terrorists right?
1) I’m incompetent at most tasks. If I had a butler to do these tasks, he would do those tasks better than I do and therefore the world would be a better place.

So, if any governments want to pitch in and pay for someone to be my butler, let me know.

In other news, I found the note I left for myself that March 25th is International Robot Day according to me. I totally forgot to celebrate it this year. This will not happen again.

I wonder if I could ride a unicycle. I try to imagine it in my head, without ever having been on one, and I can’t really tell if it should be hard or not. Someday I’ll have to try.

Haiku!

Women with lasers
protect the moon from vikings.
We thank you, ladies.

It is International Women’s Day, I guess. I’ll just get it out into the record that even though the the Nation of PDR has a 0% female population, it supports the rights of women everywhere and we strive to maintain good relations with them. In the meantime, I bring you a classic PDR story that I honestly thought was already on the Book of PDR: The Reason Women Were Allowed To Vote.

“I think I have some Mentos around somewhere… No, I better save those for the weekend.”

This is something I actually just said to myself. I was wondering if I had anything to eat. Being poor sucks. To eat between now and next Wednesday (pay day) I have three microwave vegetable/rice deals, some oranges, some matzah and that one pack of Mentos I got for Christmas that has been sitting around since. Just call me Rich Uncle Pennybags.

And yes, I did say that out loud. I like talking to myself. As for those who like to say that talking to yourself is a sign of insanity, I make the same case for talking to other people, so shut it.