The Red Shark

Murray Carter was an archaeologist studying a shipwreck when he was caught in a freak electrical storm. Struck by some sort of mystical red lightning bolt that caused his body to adapt to the undersea environment. Strong enough to withstand the pressures of the deep sea and able to swim faster than the quickest sea animals, Murray created the identity of “the Red Shark” to fight some pirates who tried to steal the archaeological findings. Since then the Red Shark has continued to fight crime on the high seas.

The aquatic superhero is a tradition almost as old as the superhero itself, with guys like Namor and Aquaman dating back to 1939 and 1941 respectively. While everybody loves to make jokes at Aquaman’s expense (because the Internet will always love an easy running gag), these guys are a tradition that I had to get in on, so the Red Shark is the result. It is, of course, worth noting that I probably hold the world record for writing the most Haikus about Namor.

The Green Camera

Matthew Callahan was an intrepid award-winning reporter known for putting himself at risk to get at the truth. On one case, however, Callahan was shot in the hip and left unable to walk. When appearing on a radio show to tell his story. The broadcast was picked up by aliens who, liking the cut of Callahan’s jib, came to him in the night and gave him a device they called the Green Camera.

When holding the alien Camera, Callahan can fly, but that is not its primary use. As you would expect, the Camera takes pictures. The Camera sees only the truth. In addition to being able to zoom in and all that sort of thing, its images can see through any sort of untruth. The disguises of alien conquerors and spies alike fall apart through the eye of the Green Camera. Also, it has a blinding flash that can be useful. With all this, Callahan is able to once again fight for truth and justice.

This is a pretty straight-up Green Lantern-inspired hero. I’ve always liked the image of the (I think) Golden Age Green Lantern carrying the big lantern around, so that’s why the Green Camera here gets a big bulky device, instead of a little ring (or camera phone).

I like it in old comics when you end up with non-human super-folk who dress in the style of human super-folk. I find it fun. Here’s some things along those lines:

Drona of the Ultimate Ants

There is an ant-hill in the American South-West where the ants are superintelligent. These Ultimate Ants have created an underground city that rivals the greatest human capitals. Drona is the super-powered champion of that ant-hill.

Drona is an ant-man with the basic super-strong, super-fast, and flying type powers. But he’s about an inch tall. I like the idea of this tiny superhero when he has to leave the ant-hill and interact with heroes way bigger than he is.

One of the most likely inspirations for the Ultimate Ant-Hill is probably the Bottle City of Kandor and the Superman Emergency Squad. The Ultimate Ants are different from the Hypercolony that I have in my SecGov Universe, in that the Ultimate Ants act like a city of people that are ants, the superintelligent ants of the Hypercolony is a colony of ants that act like ants, and are worshipped by human cultists.

The Astro-Hero

The alien world Zunoltia is a pretty nice place, but that makes it a nice target for alien invaders. Fortunately, the cosmically-powered Astro-Hero is there to save the day. The Astro-Hero’s powers include manipulation of gravity and light, either of which would be powerful, but together she is can make short work of all Zunoltia’s enemies. But she does not limit herself to protecting only her homeworld, the Astro-Hero soars all over the galaxy fighting against injustice wherever she finds it.

I’ve discussed my desire to see more aliens that don’t look like humans before, so there’s a bit of that to the Astro-Hero, but also as a female member of her alien species, it’s even more important that she look less human. Alien women in comics, even when they’re explicitly of species that are evolved with reptilian or avian traits, have the massive mammaries that superhero comics love so much. So the Astro-Hero hits checks my boxes for both improving depictions of aliens and of women. So that’s that.

Both of these guys were drawn on the spot with little forethought. Basically, I wanted to have some of that type of superhero that has a chest-emblem, and these were the results. The weird alien symbol on the Astro-Hero’s costume is a Zunoltian character of some kind, maybe it means “Astro-Hero” or whatever. Drona’s ant emblem is symbolic of his ties to his ant community. There you go.

There is a pandemic in the galaxy. Something, some virus-like alien lifeform, is spreading from world to world, bringing death and chaos with it. It adapts itself to any form of life it encounters, breeding and spreading, apparently unstoppable. And now it has come to the Earth.

The symptoms: Usually the infected experience cold sensations and itchy skin, followed by hallucinations scripted by the virus to make the victim unknowingly do the virus’s bidding. When the virus’s bidding is more complex, it can also cause mutations in its hosts, giving them otherworldly powers. And it is not limited to humans, it can also infect animals, plants, even Earth-viruses. Humanity needs an expert. That expert is: Dr. Vedzax.

Dr. Vedzax is a member of the League of Space Doctors, the most highly-trained medical minds in the Cosmos. He has devoted his life to eradicating this disease.

So anyway, Dr. Vedzax is an alien. I’m always annoyed when alien characters look just like humans, so Vedzax here does not. Real alien life is probably going to be astoundingly different, and science fiction should be preparing us for that (after all, if fiction teaches us to relate to inhuman beings, we’ll probably even get better at relating to other humans). Even Vedzax here has eyes and a mouth on his face, which is on his head and all that. Vedzax has limbs in the basic configuration we’re used to (though notice the small extra set of arms under his coat). But I figure, it’s less humanoid than a lot of aliens in comics, so it is a step in the right direction.

Also, having the hero be a doctor means that I don’t have to have every story solved by violence. I will grant you, that there have been excellent comics starring doctors who solve problems with violence, but a bit less of that would not hurt superhero comics at all. For real.

Here’s this month’s Little Choy:

Just because Choy’s year of insulting aliens is over, doesn’t mean that Choy can’t insult aliens this year. Today he is insulting Groff. That’ll show him.

Also, here’s this week’s Phone Guys:

A Science Lesson From Kip:

Little known fact. Mexico is only place to exist on every planet in very universe in all megaverses. That is why Mexicans are also called aliens.

This Has Been A Science Lesson From Kip

So what did PDR learn in school this week? Well, mostly he has learned how popular scarves are with the ladies these days. Scarfgirls everyplace.

Also, I’ve actually spoken to other students and their attitudes make me sad. “The only thing that matters is that I pass this assignment,” they say. They are concerned about their marks more than they are the material. That’s the exact thing I hate about the way the school system works, isn’t it? What a country.

Anyway, I guess I’m getting the hang of writing essays. It’s all about pretending, really. I may not have anything to say about this article I’m reviewing, but if I pretend I do, I guess that’s good enough. After all, all that matters is that I hand it in and get my grades.

Take my Gilgamesh essay: When I read the Epic of Gilgamesh a few years back I saw Gil’s failure to acheive his dream of immortality as a kind of unhappy ending. Sure, he wised up and accepted it, but in the end he died, so that was that. But during the course of this class I’ve been introduced to another interpretation, that through his suffering, Gilgamesh did manage to acheive a kind of immortality in the form of being remembered through story. Neat, said PDR. But y’know what, I find my original interpretation easier to write about, so I’m now actively arguing against the thing I found so neat. Why? Because what I think doesn’t matter. The marks are what matter, so I guess I’ll go with the essay I can probably do better. An essay I already considered meaningless because other people have discussed the topic better than I could is now also not representative of my actual thoughts on the subject. That’s school writing for ya!