A private eye is sent on a missing person case, only to find the missing person almost immediately, but it turns out that the real mystery is even stranger.

Edwin Gream

Edwin was a regular private detective until one day a woman came in asking that he look for her son Johnson, who had gone missing. Edwin started his investigation by checking out Johnson’s usual hangouts. And he was right there.

Johnson Tommy

Johnson informed Edwin that the woman who hired him was, in fact, not Johnson’s mother. That woman was an imposter, he says. She was sent by a mysterious cabal who have been trying to ruin his life. Johnson convinces Edwin to help him investigate another mysterious woman who has been following him…

Hannah Gale

The woman who has been following Johnson turns out to be unaffiliated with the mysterious cabal. She’s actually part of a secretive cult who believe that Johnson might play a part in a prophecy that the cult’s leader thinks will bring about a New Age on Earth. But it turns out that the cult’s leader is not who they all think he is. He’s actually a robot!

m473bo7

Posing as the human leader of a cult, the robot m473bo7 has been trying to make find its way in the world by creating a new religion based around establishing himself as a god. But now m473bo7 is confused because a lot of the prophecies he was making seem to be turning true on their own and he doesn’t know why. When Edwin and Johnson blow his cover, he hires them to investigate.

I envision this show as being terrible. It’s like one of those shows where the writers are clearly making up the mystery as they go (The X-Files or Lost, for example) but we’re doing it on purpose. Writers on this show would not be allowed to plan anything out more than two episodes in advance, and every episode would be required to include one “mind-blowing twist”. No fan of this show would ever be able to make a theory about where it is all going, because it is going nowhere.

It’s good for a person to have a hobby. Even Superman. I have found that there are at least three references to Clark Kent having collected clocks. I grant that, over a period of eighty years, three references are not a lot. Some might say that they’re very very little. But I like the idea of Clark collecting clocks and I’m saying we should bring it back.

The advantages of bringing back Clark’s hobby:

• Collecting clocks is a decidedly “unhip” hobby. There are constant attempts to make Clark “cool” but I don’t like it. Superman is the straight-lacedest of Superheroes. In spite of the attempts to change this, this is actually a thing that most of his fans like about him. They ought to embrace the idea that Clark is a “square” and this is a way to remind people of it.
• It ties in with Jimmy’s signal watch. For those who don’t know, Superman’s Pal Jimmy Olsen is so danger-prone that Superman gave him a watch that, when activated, emits a sound that Superman can hear, so that the hero will come save him. Why a watch? Well, if Clark is a fan of timepieces, the answer to that question becomes obvious.
• Stories could be based around clocks and stuff. It’s a good way to teach kids how to tell time and stuff.
• Clocks could liven up the Fortress of Solitude. Ever since the Donner films, the Fortress has been depicted as this depressingly barren warehouse full of nothing but snow and crystals. It looks patently un-cozy. I’d love to see some rugs and some paintings to liven up the place, but we just need to throw in a couple fancy clocks (even alien clocks) and we’re headed in the right direction.

The disadvantages of bringing back Clark’s hobby:

• There are none! Get outta here, chumps!

Bring back the clocks! Or at least someone start a band called Clark Kent Collects Clocks.

An amoral stand-up comic becomes a high-school teacher and teaches the kids extremely cynical lessons.

Kira Kidder

Kira is a very amoral person. She thought her comedy career would be much further along by now, and since it isn’t she feels she is absolutely justified in doing whatever it takes to make money. One such scheme involved posing as a teacher to attend a fancy dinner. Though a series of mishaps and misunderstandings, one particularly poorly run high school went on to offer Kira a job. She went as a joke at first, but then she started to see it as an opportunity to shape the minds of the next generation. And maybe to get some new material.

Jeanette Voight

Jeanette was the student that made Kira decide to stay. She saw this shy introverted girl in the back of her class and thought “That’s what I’d be if I hadn’t learned to use comedy” and sought to help her. Jeanette doesn’t really like this strange new teacher who is suddenly very concerned about her.

Tom Geddows

Tom Geddows is the class clown. Jeanette things he’s a hack. If Tom is going to be disruptive in her class, she’s going to make him learn how to be funny while he does it.

Carter Towner

Kira hates Carter Towner. This kid is rather smart, pretty nice, and kind of popular. Kira intends to use this school year to tear him down. He’s too naive to even realize it, though.

Lucy Diaz

Lucy Diaz takes school very seriously and she’s starting to get suspicious of the new teacher’s qualifications. She’d look into it, but Kira realized that all she has to do to keep Lucy busy is give her assignments. After all, she takes school very seriously.

I had two types of sitcoms on my list of things to check off: One starring a standup comic, and one about kids in high school. Got ’em both in one.