The Efmons were, as I have mentioned before, a family of evil monster people who lost a war and fled to other dimensions.

Thenner Efmon

When the Efmons had to flee, they left behind the rest of their species. Sure, they look human (moreso before their mutation ritual admittedly), but they’re actually a humanlike species that comes from a fantasy universe. This means that they aren’t biologically compatible with the humans on any of the alternate Earths they come across. If they want to have their family line continue, they need to figure how to solve that. Thenner Efmon is in charge of the family’s mystical genetics project. Using the technology they found on one of the alien worlds they’ve conquered, Thenner has begun cloning and gene-splicing experiments that, when combined with the Mutation Ritual that the family already used, could create a horde of Efmon Super Soldiers that would definitely be a bad thing for everyone else.

Kallis Efmon

When Kallis underwent his mutation ritual and turned into a powerful dinosaur-looking guy, he was thrilled. If Thalamaya had deemed him worthy to recieve such power, it must mean that he was destined for great victories in battle. But then the War was fought and the tide turned against Thalamaya’s forces. Kallis took this pretty hard. It seemed like his destiny had been taken away. Still, his service in the war left Kallis a respected member of the family, and he is given a vote in family decisions. Whenever any such decision arises, Kallis always sides with the choice that will lead the family to new battles and new conquests. Even when others were conviced it would be better for the family to slow down and build up their strength, Kallis wants nothing more than to find new worlds to rule, so that he can achieve the destiny he wants more than anything else.

Another late Phone Guys.

The Devaluer of Souls

Most devils are into getting souls, everyone knows that. But a lot of humans don’t want to sell their souls. They consider them pretty valuable or whatever. That’s where the Devaluer of Souls comes in. It’s his job to drive down the value that people have for their souls. There’s a lot of ways that can be done. In the past, he’s tried to start philosophical movements that encourage people to think of human life as a worthless, meaningless affair, so why not sell your soul? He’s obfuscated the idea of eternity in people’s minds, so that they won’t understand or appreciate the commitment that selling ones soul really signifies. But suppose some enterprising devil wants the soul of some particular person. That’s when the Devaluer is sent in to do his best work. He will haunt his target, insulting and terrifying them until they think their lives are things from which to escape. When he does his work, people can’t sell their souls fast enough.

But if he’s not the one buying the souls, what does the Devaluer get out of the deal? Why would he do this for all the other devils? He may not get souls, but they pay him in the next best thing: Cash Money! The Devaluer likes to spend his free time lounging in vacation resorts on Earth, and he needs money to keep relaxing in style.

Second-Hand Simmons

Don’t point out that it’s actually a third hand. She’s heard it before and she is getting annoyed with it.

Corrine Simmons has a strange hand-like energy construct that she can control with the skill and dexterity as though it were her natural limb. This secondary right hand, which appeared for no reason known to Simmons (but which may involve certain Space Gods), can stretch to a length of dozens of feet and can lift a car with ease. Unfortunately, Simmons has decided to use this gift for crime. When you can pick up ATMs and carry them away, who is going to stop you? Well, Natalie Archibald‘s police task force, that’s who.

It wasn’t intentional when I started that the vast majority of human characters in the Valia/Space Gods portion of my character creation would be black, but I’m gonna roll with it. If a lot of white characters had accumulated together in a superhero story, barely anyone would notice. In an ideal world, that could happen with a black cast too.

Ulysses Jackson, known as Ulee for short, is a pretty standard beekeeper. Like all the best, he comes from a line of beekeepers (dating back at least to his grandfather). He is just a beekeeper who goes about his business and doesn’t have extraordinary adventures. Most of the time. He is the protagonist of the film Ulee’s Gold.

As of the start of the film, things aren’t going great for Ulee. He’s been working to repair his life after some very bad times, but still things aren’t great. He’s getting old and sore, which makes it hard to do his work. At the beginning of the movie, it is noted that he is working fewer bees than he used to, which means less honey which means less money. Though he does hire part-time assistants, he mostly eschews help as a matter of pride. He’s keeping the business alive, but it is getting harder all the time. His family life is even worse. His son turned out to be a bank robber and wound up in jail. His daughter-in-law has become a junkie and left town. And even after they were recovering from all that, Ulee’s wife died, so now Ulee is raising two granddaughters on his own.

Ulee is not an emotionally healthy person. There’s some PTSD in there. Some Survivor’s Guilt. Many regrets about family stuff. And, naturally, he’s got Beekeeper’s Rage in there too. He’s angry with his son, with his daughter-in-law, with the town Sheriff, with many things. Most of his issues come in the form of trying to avoid showing weakness. He makes his life harder because, as he tells his grand-kids, “we don’t ask outsiders for help”. He tries to do everything on his own, refusing to accept that he can’t. He’s also seems pretty unhappy that his family isn’t likely to keep the business alive, saying “It’s pretty hard work. Most young folks can’t be bothered.” On the upside, he’s got a family dog named “Buckshot” and a truck with a crane for moving hives and stuff. He hasn’t painted it to look like a bee or anything, though. He ought to work on that.

But then, in a “serious drama” movie like this, we aren’t likely to get much in the way of Supernatural Beekeeper Magic, are we? Well, no. But he does note: “The bees and I have an understanding. I take care of them, they take care of me.” And when checking the honeycombs, he does use a smoker, but doesn’t wear gloves. These are minor signs that he has preternatural communication with the bees, but I’ll take what I can get. More significantly though, Ulee is a veteran of the Vietnam war. And it is indicated that his entire unit was killed save Ulee himself. Sounds to me like this Beekeeper can fight.

As the actual plot of the movie unfolds (some of his son’s criminal friends come back to try to find some hidden heist money), Ulee winds up learning that asking for help isn’t a character flaw (in his words “There’s all kinds of weakness in the world. Not all of it is evil. I forget that from time to time.”) and basically everything good that could happen to his family does (the junkie daughter-in-law is brought back and gets cleaned up, the granddaughters get interested in the family business, the son makes peace with Ulee and will probably be out of jail in a year). A happy ending earned by fighting through some tough times, even if it isn’t the punching and kicking kind of fighting.

Three Honeycombs out of Five. I admit I had some doubts about going that high, but then I remembered that’s there’s probably a story in his past about him surviving some real crazy stuff in ‘Nam.