I’ve complained about linear time being too fast for my liking and I’ve complained about not having anything interesting to write about. Those are my standard things I blame not writing here more on. Today I’m gonna blame something else: I was abducted by aliens. It isn’t necessarily true, but it’s good to have some variety in my excuses.

There were a couple questionnaires in the newspaper today. One for how depressed you are, one for how stressed out you are. According to the stress one, I’m living a good life. According to the depression one, I should be seeking medical help. Sounds about like I suspected.

Haiku!

Aboard the spaceship.
All the aliens were sad.
They had no robots.

The Sound of Silence by Simon and Garfunkel. That’s what I’m listening to right now. Good song. One of my favorites probably. I remember I looked it up on the Wikipedia once and it said it was supposed to be about the way the nation felt after JFK was shot, but it doesn’t sound right to me. If I were to pick my meaning, I would say it sounds more like a warning against people letting their interactions become hollow and meaningless.

But all of that and I still get the words mixed up in my head and replace them with “‘Your exploits have been sad and boring. They tell a tale that’s worth ignoring. When you’re alone, the words of your story will echo down the resthome hall” from the Simpsons. Ah the Simpsons. Good stuff.

If we made children carry heavy rocks as they grew up, they’d probably grow up really strong with rock shapes permanently imprinted into them. Seems like a win-win situation to me. And they can celebrate turning twenty by finally being allowed to pass their rocks on to new kids. They’ll be called Generation Rock. Because they will suck as a generation, the phrase “that rocks” will fade away and be replaced by “that barks” and the downward spiral of civilization shall continue.

Ah well. It started off as a good plan.

Apart from this, I have little to report. So I won’t. Go away.

I ordered a bunch of t-shirts a few weeks back and finally got them. The one with the Ghostbuster’s logo is especially shiny and glittery. I assume that means I accidentally ordered a girl’s shirt, but… still… it’s Ghostbusters. And being perfectly comfortable with my sexuality, I’m not going to give up having a Ghostbusters shirt just because of stereotypes against shiny clothing. So there.

And for the record, I’ve eaten like three tubs of Rocky Road ice cream this week to make up for not getting one when I wanted it that time. Oh yes, I can set goals and accomplish them. Threefold.

Little else to report at this time.

For the last four days I gave been unable to log onto my little site here. While that is annoying enough on its own, I actually had (twice) something to say during those days and that almost never happens. And now I forget what it was. Hopefully it’ll come back to me.

In the meantime…

Haiku!

Summer on the moon.
All the children wear their shorts
And swim in moon lakes.

Some Advice For Any New Mothers Out There:
Don’t buy a bed made out of knives for your baby. It won’t work out well.

I can’t claim to have accomplished anything interesting lately. Well, I could claim to, but it will be untrue. But I guess if I want to have anything to write, I had better claim to…

Yesterday, I got in a fight with a bear. Not a big bear, just a little one. But he had a gun, so it was a fair fight. We were arguing over which Middle Earth nation would have progressed to a capitalist mecca before all the others and things got a little heated. Bears just don’t understand the effects of shipping lanes on commerce… Well, anyway, the bear won. I lost an eye.

In other news, I am making an effort to get more reading done these days. That’ll show me.