When the twelfth door opens and the window breaks, a war shall be fought for unrivaled stakes. A wind from the East will bring to us change, a king in the West will be called most strange. The water comes first and the colors are second, thirdly and lastly a large vulture is beckoned. Also, there will be an explosion.

This is called the PDR Prophecy. It will come true sometime between now and the year 3212. So… everybody keep their eyes open for that.

I’d planned on getting another Secret Government Robots done for today, but then I didn’t. I have let down my legions of fans* and will no doubt be pilloried for it.** I will try harder next week.***

*Legion of fans does not actually exist.
**PDR will not be pilloried.
***Results may vary.

Hey, I’m reviewing another Canadian Heritage commercial! This time we’ve got a bunch of Irish kids whose parents died on the trip to North America and some Quebecois families who take them in. That’s nice. But there’s a catch! The kids are to take on the family names of their new guardians! HORROR! But when the kids tearfully point out that they’d rather keep the names that represent their real lineage, everybody is like “That’s cool”. There’s really only one line in this one that I can see being especially quotable and that is “No! We have to keep our Irish names!” though I admit that as a bearer of the name Patrick, I’ve had “Patrick, Patrick O’Neil” thrown my way more than once. I would imagine that anyone named Molly Johnson heard about this one on a regular basis. I have never been able to make out the name of the adorable little girl, though. Katrine Ryan? Kathleen O’Royem? Katya Nguyen? Yeah, that’s probably the one.

So we’ve got a story about Canadians letting orphans keep their identity and a mild quotability quotient. What else is there to say? Well, I like the soundtrack to this one. It’s starts with that ominous churchy sound and at the end when everything is happy is turns into a lively jig. Way to play, music. Plus, Molly’s new dad has a glorious moustache. All in all, I’m going to hand out Four And A Half Pieces of PDR’s Reviewing System Cake for this one. It entertains and educates, I guess.

But why did Molly’s mother care so much about keeping her name that it was apparently the last thing she spoke to her daughter about? I mean, when Molly grows up, she’s liable to get married and I doubt they were letting women keep their own names in those days so basically if she finds true love Molly is going to have to defy her mother’s dying wish? Great! Way to mess with your daughter’s head there, Mrs. Johnson.

Today’s Phone Guys. Nothing else to say.

In the interest if keeping track of all the dream cliches I manage to experience I will point out that I had a nap today in which I dreamed my teeth were falling out. I’ve always heard that that is one of the very most popular dreams people can have, but I’d never had one so far as I can remember.

Full disclosure: My teeth didn’t actually fall out, but they were trying to and I had to keep my jaw clenched so they would stay where they are. I was all talking through my teeth while trying to arrange a dental appointment. That counts right? Right? Yeah, probably that counts.