As you know, this has been a year of me getting caught up on going to the dentist after several decades out of the game. With each visit I made, I was impressed by the advances in technology that had been made since my childhood, but all the while I felt like something was missing.

Where were the Gleam Team?

I strongly remembered a team of anthropomorphic dental superheroes that existed on stickers and posters and stuff, but searching the Internet I could find nothing about them. Not even people thinking back about them and asking whatever happened to them.

Well, they existed, and today I did a deep dive into the files (aka pile of papers and binders) that I have kept since my childhood and I found the proof!

A sticker showing the team charging out of… a pocket I guess? Like, is it a dental hygienist’s pocket? I guess so. If you’d asked me to describe the team, they would have basically been thus, though in my mind I think they had donned capes, making them more like traditional superheroes. We’ve got a big molar guy, a floss guy, a toothbrush girl, and a toothpaste guy. Probably they had names, though I don’t remember them. Let’s ignore how most of them are tools and one is an actual tooth and just respect them for trying.

Maybe this will end up like my post on Strand-Man, where my site is seemingly the only information on the topic and it gets more hits than anything else on here. Or maybe nobody but me ever had any memory of these guys to begin with. Either way, I’m doing my part. Certainly the fact they were apparently produced by the Nova Scotia Department of Health and Fitness suggests a more limited reach than a product that was probably sold across the country and maybe beyond.

As I’ve noted, this has been a summer of dental work for ol’ PDR. Well, just yesterday I got my final cavity filled. I may not have as many teeth as I did last year, but the ones I do have left are free of holes.

Now, I’m tempted to think “Well, with that taken care of, I can clearly go another 25 years without going to the dentist.” But that would be foolish. I’m going to make an earnest effort next year, when I have money again, to get in there for a checkup.

I’m gonna try.

Behold the teeth of a man who had not been to the dentist in twenty-five years!!!

Today I underwent a procedure to have two of my teeth removed. It went pretty well. One of the teeth was extremely stubborn coming out, and yet it was still only half an hour or so. I had expected more of a hassle. Even the people working there were very nice.

But man this stuff they used to freeze my face has done its job. It feels extremely weird even now, about an hour later. I almost want it to wear off so I can deal with normal pain instead of weird tingling. I may regret that later today, but for now, that feels like what I’d want.

For the record, I did not get to keep the teeth. They had to be shattered to pieces to get them out of there. Still, they will not be forgotten.

Haiku!

Two loyal molars.
They chewed things well for decades.
Heroes of the jaw.

Anyway, I have cavities being filled next month, so until then, that’s probably it for teeth.

If I run my finger along my forehead I can feel this line or ridge or something that makes me wonder if my skull doesn’t some kind of crack-like thing on the front there. Like something out of a Halloween cartoon.

I am wondering about this right now because in less than ten hours I will be going in to get two of my molars removed. That is definitely the sort of thing that makes one’s skull look subtly but significantly different.

It’s definitely going to be strange having two molars gone. I’m gonna have to re-learn to chew, basically. But these molars served me well for as long as they could, and to celebrate them I bought two Skor bars earlier in the week so their final days on the job would really show how good they were. Farewell, teeth! I don’t know what they do with the teeth once their removed. I kinda hope that they let me keep them.

Here’s a thing about PDR: I hadn’t been to the dentist in the entire time I have had this site. Even if we count Contains2! Basically, I hadn’t been to see a dentist since at some point in my late teens. I’d estimate it as being about twenty-five years since the last time my teeth have been professionally cleaned.

There are plenty of reasons for it. Foremost is the money. Dentists are expensive and most of those twenty-five years were not times I had a lot of money. But even during my brief era of having cash, I didn’t go. I always took pretty good care of my teeth, I though, so was it needed? I’m generally nocturnal, so making dental appointments is annoying. Probably there was some fear of dental pain in play, but I don’t know. In any case, decades pass faster than we want them to.

A couple months ago one of my teeth broke in half. Basically, I couldn’t remain indifferent, it was time to go to a dentist. So last Friday I finally got in there for a checkup. The news wasn’t great. Five cavities and two teeth that need to be removed (including that broken one, of course). Sure, it’s 25 years worth of dental problems all at once, but it still feels like a lot. It definitely made me doubt that I was actually taking good care of my teeth in all that time.

But yesterday I had my first dental cleaning in all that time. This time it felt like I got a better response. The hygienist tells me that my teeth actually did not have as much buildup as would be expected in all that time. Sure, still five cavities and two teeth that need to come out (scheduled for the 31st), but hey, at least those hole-ridden teeth don’t have a lot of buildup.

Let’s just hope that the money lasts for a while…