As mentioned back in the timeline of planet Gurx, for much of the last million years, the Strondovarians were not the only kind of Varian (or “intelligent” creature) one would find. Though Strondos are the only ones alive today and they don’t remember the details of their cousins, there were ages during which civilizations rose and fell and countless adventures were had. If someone out there were, let’sjustsayhypothetically, making an RPG with all this stuff, they’d work as player races. So let’s take a look at them.

Denizens of the Neboosidih

Here we see our pal Nibnassin next to three of the most successful other Varian species. The Strondos of that age were, on average, smaller than those of today, but this will work for scale. We’ll also use the names for these peoples as they are found in the Knowledge Bank of the Strondovarians. They undoubtedly had names for themselves, but modern Strondos don’t know them. Here’s what we do know, going from left to right:

Ealnoosvarian: A dense, round people who lived in caves and mountains, the Ealnoos were adapted for cold and dark. They were possibly the first of the Varians to invent clothing, making pants and gloves out of the skin of animals, and even had some primitive hydraulic technologies. Even at the heights of their civilization, they were unlikely to conglomerate in cities, but lived in small tribes, or even alone. They hid from other Varians whenever possible.
Hradivarian: Perhaps the most numerous and successful of the non-Strondo groups, the Hradivarians were extremely successful at living in forest environments. They built large villages in the canopies of tropical forests. Some of their larger civilizations were based around the rule of individuals worshipped as gods, who often led their people against other Varians (including other groups of Hradis), but they were still not warlike as a whole, and were often skilled rope-users to an extent that other Varians believed them to be magical. They even had hang-gliders, so that reputation is well-earned.
Glorkisvarian: The largest of the Varians still remembered, the Glorkis were seen by the others as we humans might have seen ogres. They were warlike as their reputation might suggest, but they were not so dumb. They actually mastered fire earlier than any of the other groups. They also lived in the largest urban settlement known from that era, a walled city the likes of which the planet has not seen since.

These three types of Varians were the most successful, but other groups existed as well. Sometimes the Strondos find evidence of these other cousins on their evolutionary family tree, but few Strondos care.

Hey, last month I did the #JimmyOlsember thing on twitter again. But I don’t do content that isn’t ultimately intended to go on this site, so now I shall bring it back here.

2 December:

Some people would be fazed by being transformed into a fire elemental, but Jimmy’s on a hot streak and knows he’ll get a column out of it. (Don’t worry, his watch is fireproof.)

4 December:

That time Jimmy got turned into a pickle he didn’t make a big deal out of it.

6 December:

Jimmy is going undercover on the miniature monster planet Transilvane, to get a story but also to justify to Ron Troupe how much money he spent on neck bolts last year.

8 December:

The bad news: Jimmy’s mission to Transilvane has gone off the rails. The good news: He won the election!

10 December:

Well, Jimmy’s physical form has been completely devoured by tiny machines and his consciousness now resides in a cloud of nanobots. Still, he can’t miss today’s meeting, or the Chief will really get angry.

12 December:

Jim’s evil side has been released by a transporter accident and is now running around as a supervillain! But Lex Luthor won’t take kindly to a new crook moving in on his turf.

14 December:

I think we can all agree that the Mr. Action Arctic Assault Action variant costume is more just an excuse to sell a different action figure and will probably never actually be used.

18 December:

And now Jim is a puppet who has control of one of Ron Troupe’s hands. Let’s hope this can somehow help him investigate that counterfeit toy ring.

20 December:

Mxyzptlk needs a human to represent him in court to fight all those parking tickets, so it’s a good thing he can infuse Jimmy with the Spirit of Justice.

22 December:

Naturally, Jimmy isn’t allowed to participate in the Metropolis Underground Supervillain Fighting Tournament, but who anyway, this new Boxing Mummy seems to be taking the lead.

30 December:

The Wicked Warlock cursed Jimmy to become a pumpkinheaded monster! Honestly, it’s the kind of thing Jimmy doesn’t even notice anymore.

31 December:

Jimmy accidentally mixed some fountain of youth water into his werewolf serum. Oh well, now this literal cub reporter can get that interview with Krypto he wanted.

The winds rise.
The clouds flee.
The air shimmers.
The ground quakes.
The frogs doubt.
The Dark Lord Char’Nagh has returned!

Somehow another year has passed already. Did you remember to clean all your tabernacles? I sure hope you did, because you don’t have another chance to before the calendar changes or whatever.

In any case, at some point as a child I chose 22 as my lucky number. Let’s hope that translates into 2022 being a good year.

I don’t think I have anything major to report at this time. Please stay tuned in case I remember anything worth saying.