I am not on the Twitter. I would say my most concerning issue with it is the limit on characters. Not often can my thoughts be summed up in less than two hundred characters. This is because my thoughts are complex and manly.

I have pondered such ideas as getting a Twitter account and saying nothing beyond “I’m on Twitter” once a day, or just using it as a link to posts on this here site, but even those are too much work for me to actually bother, it seems. But it has recently occurred to me that Twitter does have a distinct advantage: Instant posting. If I had one of those mobile devices that everyone has I would be able to put up my Twitter-thoughts as soon as I have them. Never would I forget what I was going to say before I got to a computer that would allow me to get to my website.

All of this discussion is because when I got home from work last night I had some idea in my head that I was sure would be an awesome post and when I woke up I had forgotten it. So you get this instead. Complex and manly.

It was on this night fourty-two years ago that a small town in upstate New York became famous, for it was on this night (January 30th) that the small town of Yellowton became the scene of the grimmest, gruesomest, grossest, gregariousest crime scene in the entirety of the twentyeth century.

That night began like any other, local Police Captain Ted Barnes began his shift by beating up the local drunk Leroy Dodgeford. After beating Leroy for a good five minutes, Ted got into his car and began his patrol.

About ten minutes later a message came over Ted’s police radio concerning an escaped mental patient who was believed to have been seen heading towards Yellowton. Ted grew concerned, for this was no ordinary mental patient whom he could mock and devalue, this mental patient was a Killer Maniac That Murdered!

But Ted soon forgot his fears in the process of shooting a blind man in the leg, but he would live to regret his forgetfulness. (At least, he would until the end of the Legend of the Killer Maniac That Murdered, ’cause then he gets killed.)

So, Ted went about his business as, in another part of Yellowton a taxi driver dropped off his fare and was paid and tipped well. The driver thanked the customer. THEN HE GOT KILLED! Because the customer was none other than the Killer Maniac That Murdered (who has a hook for a hand, by the way).

The Maniac had been dropped off on a secluded road near the outskirts of Yellowton. He wandered down the road where he saw a car.

Inside the car were two teenagers, Rick, Yellowton’s star quarterback and Judy, the head cheerleader. The two of them were in the back seat reading about biology and preparing for the following week’s exams. THEN THEY BOTH GOT KILLED!

Later, this other guy was driving down the highway and the Maniac jumped out of the back seat of his car. The guy screamed and drove off the road. THEN THE MANIAC KILLED HIM! Then the other guy who was in the back seat jumped out, and saw that he was too late to kill the driver. THEN THE MANIAC KILLED HIM TOO!

Later still, Ted the Police Captain got a call saying he should go to a house on Greenwater Road. Soon he was on the scene and approaching the house. THE DOOR WAS OPEN! And suddenly Ted remembered that the radio message about the escaped mental patient had said that his Modus Operandi was to kill a bunch of people then leave some house door open on Greenwater Road. Seeing what a fool he was, Ted decided he should go pick on that deaf Walters kid.

So, the Maniac got onto the motorcycle and lit his cigarette. THEN HE GOT CANCER! But he didn’t know, so he chuckled to himself as he left the town of Yellowton behind and ran over Ted on the way.

And they say that on the anniversary of this night, if the winds are calm and the sky is clear, you can still hear the sound of the werewolf howling.

Patrick D Ryall, the D is for Metal
Originally posted on Contains2 Thursday 30 January 2003

For me, this has been a weekend of naps. While this is enjoyable on occasion, I hope I don’t make a habit of it. Still, I had me some good naps.

Haiku!

Love the letter T.
Without it, where would we be?
Also, love your legs.

Amid naps I got a new level of Adventure Dennis up, though. So that’s cool. And I see no reason I won’t find some old Contains2 story and put that up later tonight.

Also, I get the impression that Geocities is supposed to be dead by this point, as I spoke of in the past. I still seem to be able to reach the ol’ AWBC, though. The suspense is literally making me wonder when it is going to die for real.

This weekend I got to visit the merry old land of Winnipeg. It was a great weekend for being there as well. I had been leery because the previous weekend was apparently snowy, but this weekend was pure goodness weatherwise. Just some of the things the weekend gave to me: Experience in navigating corn mazes, a chance to see District 9 in a theatre for cheap, seeing a building with Louis Riel’s name on it and just generally adding to the number of places in this world that I’ve been lucky enough to see. (Oh, and I got to hang out in the company of two cool people). Not bad.

Having spent my weekend with travel, I didn’t get a chance to make a new Adventure Dennis as I might have done. In its place I’ve dug up Abominable Hairman vs. Thompson, a flash cartoon from Contains2 and put it back on the Internet where it belongs.