There’s this graffiti on the sidewalk down the road from my apartment that has been there for as long as I can remember. It reads: “HULK HOGAN”

I have grown to love this bit of vandalism because I am amused by things like the random advertising of a wrestler’s name on a sidewalk for no reason. In fact the graffiti doesn’t even specify anything about the man, just his name. I like that sort of thing.

Years ago, it started fading away, but someone else must have also liked it because they were willing to spray over it again to freshen it up. As good a public service as this is, I do have to fault the artist for changing the slogan to read” “HULK HOGAN PART 2” because instead of simply preserving the original piece, they have instead felt the need to make themselves a part of the work, calling attention to their re-spraying. I felt that was unnecessary. Better to simply keep the piece alive on its own, I thought.

But anyway, the thing is getting faded again and I’m hoping that some civic minded individual might get around to keeping the tag alive, preferably just the original words. After all, this is our heritage I’m talking about.

So it has been about nine months since my last post. The reason being: I was adopted by pirates. That, or it’s been a few weeks and I’ve just been lazy. Though I can use the slowness of my spyware filled browser as part of an excuse…

Now, on a daily basis I come up with fascinating things to write about on my little journal thing (and as you readers know, on a bi-annual basis I actually get around to posting one!) so let’s see if I can’t remember some of the things that occurred to me over the past few weeks, lest this become yet another post in which my only content is a reflection of the lack of content.

Winter has hit us here in Hali-town. We’ve had several snowfalls already. We’ve probably already had a quarter or more of the total snows we had last year, which I don’t remember being quite so busy. I have noted that these days any time it snows is referred to as a
“snowstorm”. It’s never just snowing anymore, it’s always a “snowstorm” and the whole city shuts down and schools are cancelled and people start crashing their cars all over the place and all that. I think back to my childhood and remember us actually getting far more snow and the city not breaking down. My question is: Has the snow actually somehow become more violent even though it usually clears up before we get towering snowbanks, or has the city just become one big collective weather wuss?

It also occurred to me at one point during these weeks that I don’t know my own age as readily as a person is probably supposed to do. I have to think about it longer that I probably should. Is that a bad thing? A plus side is that I’ll be thinking about how I’m twenty-eight and then realize, oh wait, I’m not twenty-eight yet and won’t be for over half of a year and it’s like for a moment I got a free bonus year.

Haiku!

My suicide tooth.
I can break it when I want.
But can it break me?

A few weeks back there was a night when I only three hours of sleep (actually there have been several like that since my last post, but I’m talking of a specific one). The thing is, the dream I had felt like it took at least three hours if not longer. I understand the thing about dreaming actually taking place in a shorter amount of time than it feels, but it really felt like I’d been dreaming longer than I’d been asleep. Anyway, the dream was about me conducting job interviews for some position that doesn’t exist in reality at some business that doesn’t exist in reality. I apparently had two openings and four applicants (three women, one man). Over the course of the interviews it occurred to me that the man was a complete moron and that I’d two of the women would be getting the jobs and I was starting to get worried that people would talk about me filling the business with just women (you know, like “Look at PDR over there building himself a little harem…”) and I was spent a great deal of time trying to figure out how to do it tactfully. It wasn’t easy considering I had been conducting the interviews in a crowded cafeteria with each of the applicants sitting at a different crowded table but totally able to hear the other interviews. At any rate, I managed to awake before I actually had to do anything. For the record, the third woman who was interviewed was also a moron.

Also for the record, outside of the dream, my harem is totally hiring.

I was going to do some commentary on Christmas as well while I was here, but this is long enough and why waste the content of a post I could do “tomorrow” right?

I suppose I should get around to writing down some of my thoughts about last weekend’s trip. Some of the minor difference I noticed between New York and Halifax:

In New York, the pigeons have a wider array of color. Here they are mostly blue and grey with the occasional that looks a little paler than the rest, but in Manhattan I saw various shades of brown and even some greys that came close to being black. Pigeon diversity. Also, I don’t remember seeing much in the way of crows. We have lots of crows here.

In New York if I happen to bump into someone in the street, I don’t have to apologize because by the time I’ve turned enough to see them they’re out of earshot. I guess people just walk into each other all day there and they’re all desensitized. But seeing as I am more comfortable if I do apologize, maybe next time I’m there I will chase after anyone I bump into and force them to hear me.

Continuing the theme of walking the streets, in New York the WALK and DON’T WALK signals actually mean WALK BUT YOU MIGHT STILL GET HIT and SEE IF YOU CAN’T FIT BETWEEN THOSE TWO CARS respectively.

And stuff like that, I don’t know. I’m not a travel guide. I will say this, as I traveled around the southern half of Manhattan, I saw more trees than I would have expected the city to have based on its reputation.

In the meantime, we’re getting snow again. What is that about? Someone needs to tell Mother Nature to get a calendar.

So there’s a big storm totally happening to Halifax right now. I’m not certain whether it is still classified as a hurricane or not, but I thought I’d take a wander out in it to see how it was. Not too great. Much colder than I like my hurricanes to be. I remember the last big one we got totally being enjoyable to be out in. I also remember having a social life in those days. Kinda sad.

Haiku!

Come, oh hurricane!
Come and blow your mighty wind.
Wind so strong. It blows.

In other news, I have taken Monday night off for no reason other than having a day off. It’s gonna be sweet, I assume.

It has been at least two years since the cops have stopped me for anything and even then it was just for not wearing my helmet while on my skateboard. But tonight, they stopped me when I wasn’t even committing that crime.

Since the guy I usually share a cab with is away for a month, I decided I’d walk down long dark Kearney Lake Road to cut some money off of my cab fare. It was all good (though I must admit I spent a lot of time thinking I really should have brought my board), except at one point I scared some deer. But the fun stuff happened just as soon as I hit civilization. I was heading for the gas station that’s open all night and has a bank machine when I noticed a cop car drive by me and very clearly look at me. I was amused and continued towards the gas station. I could sense the cop car circling around to take another pass by me. It may be worth noting that this is like four a.m. and I’m all sweaty from the walk and wearing black jeans, black shoes, my black trenchcoat and a black t-shirt. Pretty much the only thing not black is the Rebel Alliance insignia on my shirt. I’m awesome.

The cop car pulls into the gas station and in front of me and the officer (a hot lady officer, just for the record) and asks how I’m doing and so, you’re just out wandering, huh? Or something to that affect. I clarified that I had just walked down from Bluewater Road (about an hour walk) from work and the officer was all “okay” and I went in to use the ATM and buy juice and chocolate. When I got out, there were now TWO cop cars. I began to continue my walk, but the first officer now had a notepad and told me they would have to ask some questions. In the second car another officer (complete with stereotyped cop mustache and a partner in the other seat who said nothing and I don’t think was even paying attention) would ask me other questions while the first one was writing stuff down. In the end I gave out my name, age, address, phone number, job and exactly how my walk-so-far-to-save-on-cab-fare plan worked. All in all, it was cool. I walked away with a stupid grin (I’m sure I’m supposed to be indignant or something, but I so wasn’t). Rest assured everyone, when an evil and suspicious-looking man is walking the streets after dark, they are being watched. Even if they’re goody-two-shoes.

Now the best possible outcome I can think of for all this is that some sort of crime happened in the area and tomorrow I will be taken in as a suspect. Or better yet a “Person of Interest”. That would be way better than going to work. But even if that doesn’t happen, at least I had something to write about for a change.

Oh! The best part was when they asked my birth date because it is very close to today, so I totally felt like I was lying even though I wasn’t. Also, how many other people when asked their name by someone who is going to write it down first state then immediately spell their last name I’m all like “Patrick D Ryall R-Y-A-L-L” every time in that situation.

Anyway, that’s it.