Oh, man! Here we go. This one starts with grown men doing science with kites (Kites were so useful to Old Timey Scientists. Modern scientists would benefit from more kites, I think.) Since this is in Newfoundland there are obviously hordes of unattended children wandering around with absolutely nothing to do. These children laugh at the men doing science, but when the science is successful the men are so happy that they forget the children’s rudeness and show them how they just got wireless technology off the ground (if you will).

Quotewise, there’s a couple worth loving. The interplay “Do you know where England is?” “Sure, it’s over there.” is fun and, in my opinion, quotable. But the real clincher that makes this Attempt To Make Canada Feel Good About Itself a classic is Marconi’s reading of “Through the air, across the ocean, the first time ever.” Presumably the man had an Italian accent when speaking English, which is to be accepted, but that line is not spoken in an Italian accent. That line is spoken in fluent Robot. That is fact. That is sweet, beautiful, glorious fact.

This one gets Five out of Six Pieces of PDR’s Reviewing System Cake. Wireless technology is something I consider great in my daily life, and Marconi talking like a robot is something all Canadians should remember fondly.

This one is boring. It bores me.

This time we’re looking at some Natives who are gathering maple sugar from some maple trees when some white folk come along and are all like “Wha happen?” so the Natives share their syrup secrets and the newcomers profit.

I guess there’s some stuff to like in there. There’s that one kid who totally hides behind a tree for no apparent reason. I like the one guy who is like “hoo hoo!” And there’s some doggies. And is it me or does that one woman toward the beginning totally look like she’s thinking “Oh, there’s those European people. I guess we have to explain this to them now.” That’s amusing.

There is no fun quotes in here though. And that’s the bottom line. I like maple. It’s one of my favorite flavours (even though I’ve never done the whole Syrup on Snow thing), so I’m glad to see it put on a pedestal. Nonetheless, I can only give this one Two out of Six Pieces of PDR’s Reviewing System Cake.

Awwww yeah. This is the real stuff right here.

This time we’ve got the story of how a guy called James, nay, Smith (You’d think that they wouldn’t use the take where they messed up his name on the first try) went to America and invented basketball, apparently as a way to entertain all the moustachioed dudes with suspenders. Right on. As I’ve mentioned before, all I really want from these Parts of My Heritage is for them to be embedded into my brain so that I can reference them throughout my life. Well, we’ve got referencability coming out all over the place in this one. “But I need these baskets back,” alone is but several other lines are suitably memorable. Oh, and also the music is pretty sweet. Plus, basketball apparently had tackling and a vastly more comical form of dribbling? I totally approve, pretty much all around.

This one goes all the way. A classic that totally deserves Five out of Six Pieces of PDR’s Reviewing System Cake. But who is the dude watching Peach Basket guy retrieve the ball?

Half of this Canadian Propaganda Commercial is about a child freezing to death! Canada!

This one depicts a town that has too many sick people and not enough space to save them, right? So they all work together to make a hospital that provides its services for free. That’s nice. Although this Heritage Minute has none of the extreme quotability that I love for things for, it is about one of my favorite things about Canada, the free healthcare. That’s important in a country where kids freeze to death on a regular basis.

I also like the two guys who point out that since they’re the best builders in town, they can build a hospital. Of this, I approve. These aren’t two guys saying “we can build this hospital cheaper than anyone else in town,” because that would be insane. Who would want to live in a society where hospitals, or anything for that matter, was built by the people who can do it the cheapest? But anyway, I think I’m going to try to turn “We built the best barn, so we’ll build the hospital!” into something I can work into discussions. Hey, if I can fit “Oh Sire, until the end of time” into everyday conversation on a regular basis, I can do this.

But because that quote is not yet at the forefront of our culture, I can only give this one Three out of Six Pieces of PDR’s Reviewing System Cake. It’s a rare case where I actually like the thing the Heritage Minute is about more than I like the Heritage Minute itself.

So there’s this professor who hates television So Much that he decides that the medium used to relay information is more important than the information relayed. Using this revelation that the “Medium is the Message” the professor decides that the content must be the audience. Becoming aware of the audience, he then breaks the forth wall to ramble at us with his crazy ideas. And I guess this guy is Canadian. Or else he wouldn’t be a Part of our Heritage now would he?

What? I saw this commercial dozens of times as a youth and I have no idea (zero actual idea) what the crazy professor is going on about. I’m sure that the idea that “the medium is the message” has some sort of meaning to people who have had it better explained, but it is not conveyed to me in this piece. It just sounds like he is “television is bad for you because the method used to educate and entertain someone is important and television is a bad method.”

I just don’t get it.

This one is weak. I can only give it One and a Half out of Six Pieces of PDR’s Reviewing System Cake because I only understand about 25% of what is going on in this one.