“She is part-support and part-offense, able to fit into most party combinations. With her bee companions, she is able to inflict status ailments as well as buff her allies!”

Citizens of Earth is a computer game in which the player is the Vice President of the World and all the NPCs are potential members of the VP’s team. Naturally, one of those potential teammates is a Beekeeper.

By the end of the game the Beekeeper has potentially travelled inside the Internet, ridden Ogopogo, fought monsters inside dreams, and defeated alien warlords in combat. That’d be an impressive resume for any adventurer and would stand out against most other Beekeepers I’ve reviewed, but here, in this game, all of that stuff is also true of every other character. In this game, that’s just the baseline amount of cool that any character can have. Is there anything to justify this Beekeeper highly apart from that stuff?

I’m not going to try and build suspense for this review. The answer is yes. Yes, this is a damned high-ranking Beekeeper. First of all, most Beekeepers in videogames are what I call Apiarists in Distress. Usually the Beekeepers are in trouble and they wait for the game’s protagonist to come get them out of it. And sure, this game’s Beekeeper does give the player a quest, but it isn’t because she’s in danger or needs his help. She’s just unwilling to leave her work early to help the VP unless he pitches in on keeping bees, which makes sense to me.

And, of course, the fighting prowess and supernatural powers that I look for are not lacking in the slightest. She can beat up a lot of monsters, with her bees stinging single enemies or groups of enemies and has a powerful thermal attack. But don’t think she just puts her bees at risk while she stays out of the action: she also has a very powerful attack called Final Sting that does a lot of damage to the target, but also reduces her hit points completely, in true bee style. Another videogame Beekeeper who spent a lot of time fighting was the one from Fist Puncher. She was a badass fighter and everything, but that was it. Her anger let her peak at badass. The Beekeeper in Citizens of Earth has other skills. She can have her bees defend her party, and she can heal her teammates, and she is able to offer a “Bee’s Eye View” to get a better look at the world around them. The fact that she has learned to use her bees and her knowledge for things other than just doing harm proves that she doesn’t let Beekeeper Rage rule over her. In fact, she’s downright happy most of the time.

What else? She wears a suit with bee colours. She speaks in incessant bee and honey puns. She’s written at least one book (“Lord of the Bees”). She lobbies for bee rights. Some of her bees can even speak. And it’s worth noting that when she joined the party, she was already a level 14, a starting point that only a couple other characters match and very few exceed. That means within the world she’s cool and tough even before she joins the VP’s adventure. She’s got it all.

Five Honeycombs out of Five! She’s a keeper.

On the roof of the former souvenir shop, Adam sat by his hive. Bees came and went. Adam’s five larger allies were gathered around him.

Downstairs, a figure in a long coat came through the damaged wall, made its way across the room, and rummaged through a desk.

Back above, the assembly introduced one another and discussed what each felt they had to offer the team, as well as what their ultimate goals were.

Below, the figure, now carrying a pair of items, headed to the stairs with a shuffling gait.

The door to the roof creaked as it opened.

I feel I should note that I got a new laptop this week. For the first time in my memory, I got the new computer without the previous computer being entirely dead. Granted, the old one was in bad shape. The straw that broke it was that its power cord had seemingly frayed to a point where it could no longer charge, but it had enough problems that it justified getting a new computer and not just a new cord. For example, now I’m on a laptop that, when I move it’s screen, the screen doesn’t fall off.

But the thing is, the old laptop isn’t dead. And with the new cord, I can charge it. So I have two laptops, both in (essentially) working order. That means I got a new computer without losing information or files. For a long time, buying a new computer was, for me, an event tinged with sadness because the old one had given out on me. Well, since that role has been taken over by my car situation, I guess I just have a nice pleasant computer transfer now. Looking back on this site, it was 2017 when I got the last one. Worryingly recently. I sure hope that I am able to continue down the two-computer path for years to come.

The team meeting was held on the roof of the shop. October and Clint both arrived as agreed, but Adam was surprised to see a woman he did not know sitting next to Dante and Gladys.

“Ah, hello. Who is this?”

“This is Myrtle,” said Dante. “She’s a baker I know from out west. She’s agreed to come help us fight against evil and all that.”

“A baker?”

“Well,” said Myrtle, “That’s my day job. But I also part of an occult group, we were–”

Adam held up a hand and smiled. “Do you have any good recipes using honey?”