All I got is Phone Guys again. So here’s that.

But I don’t want that to be all I offer, so here’s a comedy joke I just invented:

Why didn’t the dik-dik and the melon get married in Vegas?
Because a cantaloupe and an antelope can’t elope!

I thought going back to school might give me more to write about on this here site o’ mine, and that is probably correct, but I kinda feel like I have less time to spend saying it. Oh well, let us see if I can’t bang out a post before I have to go to work…

I’ve got homework and tests and stuff now. This is the stuff I hate about school. I love being there and learning stuff. I could happily be sitting in lectures and such all day, but the second I have to start proving to them that I am learning, I start to take umbrage. I’m sure I’ve mentioned it before on the site, but I really find that the amount of time I have to spend proving to them that I am learning cuts into the actual amount of learning I do. It’s annoying. I will try, but I won’t enjoy it.

Anyway, something I noticed: Kids these days are sick. Seriously, I don’t know if it is flu season or what, but it seems like the professors can’t get through two sentences in a row without coughing, sniffling, sneezing, or some other sound of illness. Maybe it was like this when I was a student too. Maybe it is always like this in a group of people and I am only noticing now because of how diligent I have managed to avoid groups of people for my adult life. But I can’t sit in these lectures without a constant awareness of how sickly the populace surrounding me apparently is. If I get sick this year I am blaming all these children.

Haiku!

His mother told him
“You should wear your tuxedo.”
So he wore that shit!

Oh hey, I also got my Learner’s Permit thing for learning to drive cars and stuff. It’s been almost half my life since the last time I drove a car, so I don’t know what to expect of me really, but hopefully I’ll learn to drive. Not because I have any actual desire to learn to drive, but because I think it is a thing I will need to know soon. Stupid society always pushing its stuff in my face. Luckily I will basically never be able to afford a car, so I don’t have to worry about that just yet.

Phone Guys:

That’s it.

To Whom It May Concern,

So, you’re making fake flowers over there I see. Nice work if you can get it. There’s always gonna be people and businesses who want to spruce up their surroundings, but can’t, for reasons ranging from being busy to being lazy, take care of living plants. These are the people who need to get fake plants. So good on you for helping those people to get what they need.

But there is one way I think you’re dropping the ball here. I’ve seen plenty of fake plants over the years. I’ve seen fake plants that look like real plants. I’ve seen fake plants that don’t look very good at all and just look like terribly shabby fake plants. I’ve even seen real plants that looked fake to me, but that has nothing to do with you, so don’t worry about it. But what I’m not seeing in fake plants is what I want most of all: Fake plants that look like real fake plants.

That is to say I want there to be fake plants that are of good quality, that look like real plants, but that are not based on real existing plants. You’re not confined by the laws of nature, fake plant makers, you can do whatever you want. You should be going balls-out crazy when you’re designing fake plants. You can make leaves with a rainbow of colors, or roses that curl around like crazy straws. You have just got to use your imagination. Or, if you don’t have one of those, just drop some acid, hang out in a garden and make note of the trippy flowers you see. Something like that. All I’m saying is that you don’t have to waste your time making fake versions of flowers we already have. Do something new and exciting.

Oh, one last note: I don’t know anything about plants. If you’re already making brand new types of flowers that don’t really exist, I wouldn’t know it. But keep doing it. Just do it cooler.

Peace and Love,
Patrick D Ryall