I just feel that I need to spread the word that the translation of Hesiod’s Works and Days that I am using for my mythology class at one point refers to the god Hephaestus as “famous old Gimpy” and I find this hilarious. Sure it is mildly amusing because making fun of someone who is crippled is always funny (this is fact, you can not dispute this ever), but what amuses me more about it is the familiarity of the term. If some text had referred to Athena as “famous old Brainy” or Hercules as “famous old Muscles” I would find it nearly as amusing, I think.

Still, Google tells me that the phrase is barely used in the Internet, so I guess nobody has latched onto this one phrase as much as I have. Everybody but me is a joyless moron (this is fact, you can not dispute this ever).

On Monday I dropped my phone on the way to class. I use my phone to get into my apartment building, so I didn’t notice until I got home. Inconvenient. Luckily the phone was discovered by some folk who bothered to get in touch with the person I had texted most recently: Marq. With his help the people got my phone back to me and all was well.

Reviewing the texts between Marq and the helpful people I learn that when they first contacted Marq and told them they had found a phone, he saw that I it was my number and assumed it was me being a dumbass. This is the correct response, because Marq knows me.

On the back of my phone there is a little cover that goes over the battery. Every time I drop the phone it falls off, so I was not surprised that when I got the phone back it was missing. I rigged up a little duct tape replacement for the cover and was content with that. On my way to class on Tuesday, though, I found the cover untouched on the sidewalk. It wasn’t even covered with leaves or anything. My phone was whole again.

That is my story about my phone.

I don’t eat fast food all that often. Oh, don’t get me wrong, I eat out a lot, it’s just that I prefer the actual restaurants where they take their time. Today I went to the KFC/Taco Bell that exists on my road for the first time in years. I had to wait a very small amount of time, like maybe two minutes, for them to make my food and when they handed it to me they apologized. “Sorry for the wait.” What? Come on! I hate that. I didn’t finish the song I was listening to on my MP3 player even. You don’t need to apologize for that! But what makes it worse for me is that they probably have to apologize because there probably are customers who would find that wait intolerable.

Some more thoughts about fast food restaurants: I remember when I was a kid the menus actually had words on them. The items of food would be listed by what they were so that you could look it over and make a decision. Now, it appears, the menus are little ads that use big pictures to try to make the food look as appealing as possible. These pictures take the same amount of room to advertise one food that could have listed half the items. I honestly had no idea how to find what I wanted. I’m an old man. Fortunately the guy at the counter knew what I meant by “Those fries with the Taco Bell stuff on them” when I asked for it.

Finally, there was a picture on the wall of Colonel Sanders appearing “on American television”. That is what it says. It specifies that Sanders is appearing on “American television” and I don’t know why. If they hadn’t specified that, would I have assumed it was a trip to Canada? What terrible chaos would have then ensued?

And now we start the third year of Phone Guys regular comics. I figured that maybe this year I’d put a little more effort in and have them be something good, instead of just filler. But then I went and started school again and didn’t have the time to bother with that, so they’re still just stupid. Oh well! We’ll all live with it.

Also, we’re nearing Halloween, so why not see a demonic comic strip?