Listen, if I’ve got to put up with people who say things like “I don’t like drinking water because it has no taste”, then it is only fair that I get to complain about sunlight. This is non-negotiable.

Okay, I have no idea if this is something that has every happened to other people or not, but it is certainly a first for me. I just woke up with start and my were fists clenched and ready to swing at some imaginary foes. It was like I was a badass in a movie who sleeps with one eye open so nobody can sneak up on him. Yep, pretty badass.

Of course, since nobody was there I also felt like an idiot.

Anyway, since it seems like my theme this month is sleep/dreaming, I am lucky to be able to remember the bit of the dream just before this sudden arousal. I was on a highway running through the desert where some avant garde artist had made a sculpture. It was a sculpture of a small house which was designed in such a way as to obscure what was through the front door until you were standing in front of it. Once you were standing in front of it, you saw that a cannon was pointing directly at you, oh my!

Except this wasn’t enough. The artist explained (my dream cutting occasionally to snippets of an interview with him) that nobody was as frightened by cannon as he had hoped. Perhaps cannons are just not as relevant as a weapon these days, so everyone assumed it was harmless. Not the response the artist had intended. So what he did is he added to the piece. He created a handful of statues, also only visible from that spot in front of the house, depicting seedy looking folks pointing guns are the viewer. So it was there that I was standing when some noise from the real world must have woken me up enough that my fight response translated into a physical move.

It’s an interesting start to a day anyway…

Here’s this one comic I made:

Then we have the Phone Guys!

Yesterday evening I was feeling groggy after a large family meal and I thought, as I do several times a year “I’ll just have a nap” and I let myself drift off to sleep. Now I’m waking up just a few hours before I should actually be going to sleep. Napping is not a skill that PDR possesses.

When I go to sleep, my body apparently thinks “Well, let us make this stick as long as possible” no matter what I think. I seem to be getting more and more able to turn off my alarm without waking and, unless my phone is lying to me, I seem to have checked a text message in my sleep yesterday. I value awake-times much more than sleep-times and this is not ideal. I guess it is my own fault for making naps such a rare part of my habits. I never slept on buses or in school or any of the places I could have trained my nap-senses (the only time I’ve even slept on an airplane was on a fourteen hour flight and was a proper sleep, not a nap). I suppose this is my own fault for not fostering proper napabilities when I could. And now, something must be done. I guess, from this point on, I just need to tell myself: No more naps. If I feel like I could use a nap, I am to tell myself “Shut up, dummy!” and stick to awakeness.

Well, I’ve really got no point to this complainy post save that I felt like I should write something to account for my confusion of my sleeping schedule (Also I’m not quite awake yet). Gotta get something out of it. Still, as I said quite recently, I’m big on dreams. My dream last night had dinosaurs. That counts as a point in my favor, but now I have to try to readjust in time for work tonight… We shall see.

Well, I’m pretty sure I left my copy of Brighton Rock on a bus someplace. It could be worse, I was only a couple pages into it, so I wasn’t all that invested (when I lost my copy of Don Quixote a few years back, I had invested months of reading time into it, so I needed to buy another copy), but I hope that someone finds and reads it. That’s the best result we can hope for at this point.

Haiku!

You ain’t never seen
a truck like this one before.
It has ballistae.

There was this thing in the paper last night about some Austrian priests who wanted to see some changes in the Church and the Pope was all like “Nah”, well fear not Austrian priests. When I am the Pope, I will have your back. Just get me in there, guys.